Dungeons & Dragons Page #2

What a relief.

I'll be thanking you

when they cut my head off.

You should.

It'd be an improvement.

There's that superior

intelligence...

you Mages are so famous for.

Yes, well,

speaking of intelligence...

what kind of genius

would break into a Magic School?

He'd have to be

really stupid or--

Or what?

Well...

Master!

If you don't tell me

which scroll it is...

I'll have to kill you painfully.

Never!

Are you crazy?

You just zapped...

The Chief

of the Crimson Brigade!

To the streets of Sumdall!

Follow them, you fools!

Where are we going?

Hey, nice trick!

No, the other way!

Watch out!

Lady, please, stop and listen.

Escapes are

our bread and butter.

-What's that?

-I don't know!

Get this rope off

so I can deal with it!

Can't nobody get a moment

of peace around here?

I ought to...

Nice lid.

You shouldn't have done that.

Check that door.

It's locked! It's locked!

Follow me!

If you think I'm going

in that filthy mess--

That's disgusting!

Post Brigades at every

sewer entrance and exit.

I want them found...

now.

Marina of Pretensa,

student Mage...

is sought for the brutal murder

of Vildan Vildir.

A reward will be...

I can't believe this!

You better believe it.

They're framing us.

They're framing you.

You're nothing but a Thief.

They can't be framing me.

I'm an aristocrat. I'm a Mage.

A low-level Mage--

completely expendable.

Practically worthless.

This is ridiculous.

I'll go to the authorities.

I can't go to the authorities.

That's right.

They'll toss you in prison...

and torture you

till you confess.

You better tell us,

'cause like the man said...

we're your accomplices.

All right.

Come on!

You allow...

a slip of a girl

to escape you...

with the scroll...

and now Norda,

the Empress' finest tracker...

is in pursuit...

and you tell me

not to concern myself?

It was a mistake.

It will not happen again.

There you are right.

And here's why...

Just a friend I'm sending along

for the ride.

A gentle reminder

not to make any more mistakes.

The moment you deliver me

the Rod...

I'll ensure that he--

it...

vacate the premises.

Now...

may I suggest...

that once you two have become

fully acquainted...

you follow the Empress'

tracker Norda.

She happens to be good

at her job.

She will lead you

to our missing friends...

and the scroll...

and this time, Damodar...

don't fail me.

It's about time!

If we find the Rod, the Empress

heaps us with gold, huh?

Why don't you try and rise above

being a Dwarf?

This isn't about gold.

It's about saving our Empire.

Empire?

Who cares about the Empire?

You Mages are the only ones

who benefit from it.

Oh, really? That's

an interesting sentiment...

coming from a guy

who steals things for a living.

Have you ever heard

of honor amongst Thieves?

We might live outside the law,

but we respect each other.

Unlike a bunch

of back-stabbing Mages.

That is just the sort of

half-baked, illiterate drivel...

that proves Commoners

really are common.

That's it. We're out of here.

Come on, Snails.

We'll go into hiding.

She can find the Rod herself.

Fine.

I thought you were leaving.

Mind if we eat first?

No. Be my guest.

Those red marks there

look like the locks...

my father used to put on plans

in his carriages.

Please.

This is an ancient scroll,

not a blueprint for a bucket.

You don't seem to know

what you're doing...

so you might as well let me

have a look.

Give that back!

Let's see. He used to put

his fingers like this...

and then he'd say

something like...

Alanor, salah--

What was that word?

Bidet.

Bidet? Bidara! Bidara.

Alanor, salah, bidara!

Can't blame me for trying.

At least I--

See that there?

I knew that boy had talent!

Alanor, salah, bidara!

Do not let them escape...

or you will suffer

a fate far worse...

than that which hath

been inflicted upon me.

So there I am, hogtied,

lying on my back.

This Orc starts poking me

with the spear.

Kind of a no-win situation.

So, I say to myself,

"What do I got to lose?"

So, I take that spear

and bite it.

And I start chewing.

Idol of idols.

With an Elf.

You got to be kidding.

The problem with Elves is

they got no meat on their bones.

You got to get yourself

a nice 250-pound Dwarf.

With hair on her chin

you can hang on to.

Excuse me, little man.

You looking for somebody

in particular?

Or are you just looking for...

somebody?

Actually...

I'm looking for someone

just like you.

What a coincidence...

'cause I was looking for someone

just like you.

We got to celebrate.

Bartender, give me a bottle

of your best wine.

Make that your cheapest.

Wait.

I need the girl.

Bar fight!

Get them !

This ain't the time for romance!

-What are you doing?

-Come on! Come on!

Wait, I got to go back.

I think I'm in love!

With an Elf?

They think Humans are a joke!

All right, I lied.

I just want to hit it!

Let's get Ridley out of here.

Bidet, bidet, bidet.

That Wraith

must have been defective.

-He seemed reliable to me.

-He did not.

It's Damodar, man.

He's onto us.

With what we've walked into,

everyone's going to be onto us.

What do you mean,

everybody's onto us?

Go ahead.

Tell him what you got us into.

Me? But you--

Go ahead.

Tell me what you got us into.

According to the Wraith

inside the scroll...

the Rod we're looking for

caused the Great War.

Is that all?

Have you lost your damn mind?

What does this Rod do?

It's supposed to have the power

to control Red Dragons.

I don't know about you...

but this sound

like a pretty bad idea to me.

It gets better.

This map

leads to a Dragon temple.

To get in, we have to get

the Eye of the Dragon...

from the Guildmaster

of the Thieves Guild...

in Antius City.

Xilus?

No. Get--

No way!

I told her she's crazy...

but she keeps going on about

Profion and the Empress.

Profion?

They can

take care of themselves.

I suggest we lay low...

Iet the whole thing blow over,

come back, rob everybody.

That's all. Let's go.

Snails,

there's one more small problem.

Problem?

What's the problem, Ridley?

I kind of committed us

to find it.

Ridley, how could you

do something like that?

You--

I can't believe this.

I can't believe--

"This is our big chance", huh?

"Let's rob the magic school.

This is our big chance!"

That's what you said to me,

right?

This is...

dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Dumb!

I got a new name for dumb.

"Ridley".

This is the Ridley-est thing

I ever heard of.

I'll understand

if you don't want to go.

What do you mean I can't go?

Look, all I'm saying is that...

don't you think this is just

a little bit out of our league?

Just a little bit?

Snails, listen to me, OK?

This Eye of the Dragon

we're supposed to get?

It's a ruby

the size of your fist.

I don't--

A ruby the size of a fist?

Yeah. We'll use her to help us

get it, and we'll take off.

We'll make a fortune.

Trust me.

I hate when you say that!

Ridley, I know I'll regret this.

I knew you'd come

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes