Dva Fyodora

---

We've been away from home for so long

The pine-trees blossom here

As though in a fairy-tale

In the land of milk and honey

I'm back in Russia at last

My heart is welcome here

When the war is won

I'll come back to you

Riding my stallion rogue

Hurrah!

- What are we waiting for?

- Signal clearance.

Well, ladies, here come the grooms!

A whole bunch of you, too.

- Give me some water, brunette.

- Help yourself.

- Hello, sons.

- Good day, sir.

Oh come on! Let's go!

- Hello, sons.

- Hello yourself, pop.

- Hi, son.

- Hi, dad.

- Help yourselves, my darlings!

- Thanks.

All kidding aside,

maybe some of you should stay for real.

- We've plenty of girls.

- No shortage of ladies, indeed.

One retired guy for 40 households.

- I wish I could stay!

- Thief!

You little rascal!

I looked away for a second,

and it was gone!

Stop yelling.

You know he's starving.

The place is crawling with crooks.

I can't feed them all.

Eat.

Here you go!

Oh God, it's too much!

- Got any folks, you little scamp?

- None.

Chiefs, gimme a lift.

It's only 2 stations away.

- Let's go!

- All aboard!

Don't you disturb me, Maria,

I beg of you, do not.

I've been disturbed all week

As it is.

My friend, my friends,

What have you done?

I loved him-you stole him away-

I did not!

You scallywag, you said you were gonna

get off in two stations.

This one's the sixth.

You wouldn't have taken me

if I had told you the truth.

That's true!

I'll get off at the next one.

- He's nobody's fool.

- Absolutely.

Oh well, never mind.

Keep going if you must.

I had worn my shoes all out

Walking down that path

As soon as I got a new pair

My boo found someone else.

Our family is huge.

In order of seniority:

Panteleimon Lukich and Maria Trofimovna,

our parents.

- Then Zoya, my wife.

- She's pretty.

Here are my sisters: Darya,

Lyudmila, Natalia.

Here's my elder son Sergey,

and the younger one, Dmitry.

- Here's my daughter.

- Great job.

Easy does it.

It's too hot.

Kasha makes me real thirsty.

Want some sugar?

This one's for Vienna,

I know that much.

Is this one for Berlin?

- For Budapest.

- I see.

- What's your name?

- Fyodor.

- Mine, too!

- It happens.

It does. All the time.

My dad's name was Vasily.

No mother either?

Only an aunt. She's nice,

but she lives too far away.

- Going to see her?

- Yep.

Once I'm home,

I really should fix the bellows.

Comrades!

Congratulations on this great victory!

The truth was on our side, so we won!

Thanks. Why so much?

- It'll come in handy.

- Thank you.

- It's too heavy!

- Not for you it ain't.

- Take care!

- Thanks.

- Take care, Fyodor.

- Say hi to your aunt.

Enjoy yourself, soldier,

the war is over!

- That's us.

- Thanks for the ride.

- Gonna stay at your aunt's?

- Yep.

- Can you find the way?

- Sure thing. Walk down Shevchenko st.,

then turn onto Papanin st.,

then down Komsomolsky alley.

The third one's hers.

Have a safe trip.

Hope everyone's in good health.

- Goodbye.

- See ya.

Take care, guys!

- Hey brother, hop in!

- Are you staying, Fyodor?

Fyodor!

- Did you hit the dog?

- It's his own fault.

Who are you anyway? This is our spot.

We always play here.

- This is our house!

- Wanna get your ass kicked?

Let him have it!

Hey hey, knock it off!

What is it with you?

- Fyodor!

- Hello, Nikanorych.

Alive, thank God.

- Is it Arseniy?

- Yep.

He sure has grown.

Well, introduce yourself.

- So?

- Well, here I am.

- Where did you find this mutt?

- Mutt my ass!

He's a purebred bear-dog.

Could've been the size of a calf.

- Why isn't he, then?

- Why, huh!

If you'd been fed like he was,

you wouldn't have grown at all.

- Oh my God! Hello Fyodor.

- Hi.

Welcome back, Fyodor!

What are we waiting for? Let's go.

You can stay with me for the time being.

Or maybe at our place.

Thank you, friends.

But it's my home I've come back to.

Hey comrade, only 30 minutes left

Until we go on the offensive

Hey comrade, only 30 minutes left

Until we go on the offensive

Just enough to finish one cigarette

Before the battle begins

And maybe talk about love

And dream a little.

And maybe talk about love

And dream a little

Well, let's get started.

- Why are you in such a hurry?

- I was in line.

- Where?

- Behind that woman over there.

Let him pass, no skin off your back.

Some sugar, please.

As much as this bill can buy.

- Cubes? Lumps, of course!

No one needs the cubes, they're weak.

- Next.

- So, what I need is...

Fyodor, here's someone looking for you!

- Borscht?

- Hi. Borscht, yes.

It's really good. Delicious.

And some kasha I made.

Grain was rationed out today.

And some vitamins for dessert.

- Where did you get these?

- I know a place.

They just grow there like weeds.

They're nobody's.

Catch up, don't just stand there!

- Wait for me, guys!

- Catch up!

- I'm gonna get me some apples!

- But they're still green!

- How about cucumbers?

- Let's go steal some carrots!

Let's go!

Hey lady, take it easy!

- Next time you'll see!

- Why are you getting so testy?

None of your business!

- What are you staring at?

- It ain't against the law, is it?

You're too young to look at men like that.

Like you're so mature.

And this mustache makes you look like a cockroach.

Get lost!

Next time, come together!

Just give me some notice,

so I have a switch at the ready!

- Stork-girl! Stork-girl!

- Get lost, you!

Stork-girl! Stork-girl!

I thought they didn't belong to anyone.

Don't scold me, Fyodor.

I've lost all our ration cards.

- How? - How do things get lost?

Here one moment, gone another.

Why did you take them in the first place?

I was in charge of groceries.

I thought I'd stop by the store

after work...

- "He thought"! Lose 'em all?

- Every single one.

What are we gonna do now?

Don't you worry, Fyodor.

We'll figure something out.

We will.

Feels so good!

Oh you!

Why are you so cheerful today,

my friend?

- What took you so long? I've been waiting.

- Oh well. I was busy at work.

- We'll be late for our walk.

- We'll make it in time.

By the way, what is this smell?

Jesus Christ!

Where did you get it?

- Let's drink some "bruth" first.

- What? -Chicken "bruth."

- Broth, you weirdo.

- Same thing.

- Not enough salt.

- Here's more.

- Wings or drumsticks?

- Yeah, yeah.

Can't even carve it. Piping hot.

- So where did you get it?

- Borrowed from Gruff.

- How do you mean?

- It's just a loan.

Gruff has as many chickens

as we do.

No, really.

I told him we'd pay him back.

As soon as... We will, honest.

Did you steal it?

You're always hungry.

You need some meat.

I'm a working man,

can't you see?

Throw this filthy thing away

before it stinks up the place.

Let's eat it instead.

What's done is done.

- We're working men.

- I know.

- Are we going for a walk?

- We are.

There's a very interesting article

here on page 23.

You definitely should read it.

It's a great magazine overall.

- Hello, Fyodor.

- Hello, boys!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes