Dylan Dog: Dead of Night Page #4

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you what it means to a vampire

to be buried alive, right?

The claustrophobia, the insects,

the worms eating away at your brain.

And yet you can never die.

It wasn't me. I couldn't find it.

Lorca, I want to

believe you. I really do.

So, you know what?

I'm gonna give you a little

bit of time to think it over.

Okay. How about 20 years?

Okay?

Okay. Okay.

Vargas.

Vargas! No, Vargas!

Vargas!

No! Please!

No! No!

I'm not sure that I understand.

It's almost like you're saying that

monster hunters are the bad guys,

which really doesn't make any sense,

because since when are

monsters the good guys?

Well, that all depends on who

you think the monsters are.

Where the hell am I? What's that smell?

You.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God! What's wrong with my arm?

Dylan, what's wrong with

my arm? What happened?

Relax. It's a loaner.

A loaner?

Yes. They were out of

Caucasian in your size.

Out of... Are you listening

to what you're saying?

My arm is brown!

And I'm not even married.

Marcus.

You are a zombie. Now pay attention.

Floor cleaner is your new deodorant.

Wisk takes the place of soap.

Green cleaner will keep

your eyes from yellowing up,

and bleach is for your teeth.

This is your new beauty regimen,

and you can never take a day off.

You're a funny guy. You're a funny guy.

I've been telling you for

years you had it in you.

You're just always so

serious. I'm starving.

Marcus, no, you cannot eat that!

Marcus, I'm trying to help you.

I already started,

and they are delicious.

So, I already know you're lying.

I'm like loving this.

Oh, God.

Marcus, this is the zombie buffet.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Can you just drive

me to, like, a clinic?

And get me like a B-12 shot,

or something to that effect?

Might make me feel...

We don't have time for this.

You want me to show

you your stomach again?

You're a zombie now. You either

eat this or live human flesh.

You know that hungry

feeling in your stomach?

It's only gonna grow worse if you

don't eat. Then you rot and die.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

I'm not gonna eat that.

And we're gonna forget

that you suggested it,

'cause it's disgusting.

Ghouls.

Oh, my God.

Ghouls? And these ghouls would be?

Can we crack a window, please?

Funny. Dead guy joke.

Everyone's a comedian. Jesus.

It's just that it smells so bad.

Maybe it's you. Maybe you

smell. Ever think about that?

Ghouls are humans

addicted to vampire blood.

Gives them incredible

strength and perpetual youth.

Like vampires. Just, I've never

seen it this popular before.

You're just making this sh*t

up as you go, aren't you?

Take her back to the office.

It's not safe here.

Well, what about you?

I'll be fine.

If I'm not back in an hour,

call in a bomb scare.

There was only one way to get into

Corpus House if you weren't a vampire.

And that was as ghoul

addicted to their blood.

Luckily, I knew the game.

All I needed was proof.

Welcome to Corpus House.

My only lead was a teenage vamp

who disappeared at Mara's place.

My options were running out,

or always running away.

I'm looking for a friend of mine.

Maybe you can help me out.

He's a Trueblood.

About 5'7", early-20s-looking, thin.

Kind of looks like one of

those shaved cats? You know?

Thanks a lot. You're a help.

You're requested upstairs.

And what if I don't wanna go?

Then we get to play

squash with your balls.

And here I thought I wasn't

gonna get lucky tonight.

You know what I'm talking about.

I saw you down there with that little...

Hey... Lookie here, hey!

What's up, Dylan?

Welcome to Corpus House.

I'm sorry, welcome back.

Have a seat. Take a load off.

Can I get you a drink, a shot?

Hey, hey, hey, don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't be rude.

Now, I know you and this building

have a lot of history here,

but I assure you, I don't

want no kind of trouble.

Really?

Then what's this I

hear about you spreading

stories about me being a monster hunter?

Are you kidding? After what you did?

Oh, man. My only regret is that...

And I told them. I wanted

to get you a fruit basket.

I mean, for real,

if you hadn't killed off

all those elders from back in the day,

I'd be paying dues for

like another century

before getting the chance

to run things around here.

And now look at me.

I'm king of the world!

So, thanks, pal.

Pal.

If we're such good friends,

then why don't you tell me why

one of your boys killed a werewolf

and why a few more tried

to kill a client of mine?

I'm sorry to hear that.

But, no, that's not one of my boys.

Well, then I guess you won't

mind if I have a look around,

you know, for old times' sake.

I mean, I don't know of any club

owner that would agree to that.

I wasn't asking permission.

Take a look around you, Jack.

Things have changed.

We don't need you anymore.

So, take some friendly advice from me

and go back to spying on your Motel Sixes,

or whatever it is that you do...

...and let me advance the race.

You're in on this, Vargas.

And when I can prove it,

you'll be seeing me again.

But next time, I won't be so polite.

Like I always say, the secret

to good detecting? Get lucky.

What's your problem?

I'd be careful if I were you.

These are wood-tipped bullets.

"Theodore Cuff, 114 Avenue C."

What's your Trueblood name, Theodore?

Slake.

Tell me about Mara Cysnos.

I'm not telling you anything.

How long ago were you bitten, Teddy?

You don't look like you've

been eternal more than 10 years.

It'd be a real shame to die so soon.

Bite me.

Why did you kill Mara?

And why were the Truebloods after her?

If you kill me, you'll never find it.

I'm the only one who knows where it is.

Is this what you're

talking about? What is this?

Not very cool, Teddy. Not very cool.

Put him down.

What the hell are you?

See? That's just what this case needed.

A seven-foot tall,

flesh-eating zombie.

Which begs the question, are there

any actual people left in New Orleans?

So, you really don't know what happened

between Dylan and those vampires?

No, you know, he doesn't

really talk about it that much.

I think it may have something to

do with his fiance a few years ago.

She left him?

No, not exactly. She's...

Yikes. You look like crap.

Thanks, Mary Kay.

We've got a lead. Leave in 30 minutes.

Wait, what? Not you.

I just about died tonight. I need

to know you're somewhere safe.

Well, what about me?

Why do I have to go?

Because you're already dead.

I'm already dead.

Oh, my God! What have you done?

I look like a dead hooker!

It was a shame Slake turned

out to be a dead-end. Literally.

But at least his driver's license

led me straight to his crummy apartment.

I was hoping we'd find the

cross, or at least a clue.

Yeah, you should trash the place.

That's good.

'Cause, you know, Slake won't mind.

Oh, man.

I didn't know Apple made coffins.

Hey, I thought vampires

didn't show up on film.

No, it's mirrors they've got no

reflection in. They photograph just fine.

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