E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial Page #2

Okay. Swear it one more time.

-I have absolute power.

-You have absolute power.

Elliott! Look what I made for you!

Stop!

Kids, I'm home!

Guys?

In the closet, fast.

Anybody up there, kids?

Anybody home?

Hi, honey, how are you feel--

What happened in here?

You mean my room.

This is no room.

This is an accident.

I was reorganizing.

I can see that.

Put those shelves back on the wall.

Get the toys off the floor.

Make your bed since you are not using it.

You're feeling better, I see.

Will you guys watch Gertie for me

while I take a shower?

Absolutely.

'Bye, Mom.

Elliott...

I'm keeping him.

What is it?

He won't hurt you, Gertie.

He won't hurt you, Gertie.

We're not going to hurt you.

Is he a boy or a girl?

He's a boy.

Was he wearing any clothes?

No.

But, look, you can't tell.

Not even Mom.

Why not?

Because grownups can't see him.

Only little kids can see him.

Give me a break.

Well, do you know what's going

to happen if you do tell?

Do it, Mike! We have to!

No, please!

I'll do anything, please!

Gertie, help me! Help me!

Give it!

-Promise?

-Yes.

Do you promise?

What are you doing, Gert?

I'm going to play in Elliott's room.

Okay. Don't let him torture you.

I won't, Mary.

Hello?

Jerry!

Come on, come on. Hurry up.

Don't be pushy, pushy.

A plant for you.

Maybe he's some animal

that wasn't supposed to live.

Like those rabbits we saw that time.

Don't be lame.

Green, orange....

Could be a monkey or an orangutan.

A bald monkey?

Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.

You could make faces.

And make them mean and happy...

...and make them get sharp teeth.

We are here.

We're here.

Use this.

You could make all sorts of things.

Okay. We're here.

We are here.

Where are you from?

I don't like his feet.

They're only feet, you little twerp!

He's trying to tell us something.

Home.

Home.

Home.

What's he doing?

What's happening?

Elliott.

Oh, no.

Elliott, what is it?

I don't know. Something scary.

Got a pulse?

No, boss.

Hold it. We got it right here.

Follow him.

Okay.

You think it's this house?

Did you explain school to him?

How do you explain it

to higher intelligence?

Maybe he's not so smart.

Maybe he's a worker bee...

...who pushes buttons.

He's smart.

I hope we don't wake up on Mars...

...surrounded by millions of little squashy guys.

Hi, Elliott.

-Elliott, where's your goblin?

-Shut up.

Did he come back?

Did he?

Yeah, he came back.

But he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.

As in extraterrestrial.

Where's he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?

-He doesn't get it.

-Get it? Your anus?

-He doesn't get it.

-You're so immature.

And you're a sine supremus.

-Zero charisma.

-Sine supremus.

Zero charisma.

Shut up, Greg!

Sine supremus.

Zero charisma!

You wimp.

Let's go.

Come on. Get in the car. We'll be late.

Okay, boys and girls...

...today we will be doing

the actual frog dissection...

...for which we've been preparing.

And you will find...

...many similarities.

As you get into the dissection...

...you will discover that the anatomy....

The scalpel is very sharp.

Use discretion when you are cutting.

There will be very little blood.

There may be a few body fluids.

TEACHER:

As we get started with the dissection...

...remember that the things

you are writing down....

Some of the things that you should

look for during the dissection...

...is to locate the heart

and notice that it is still beating.

I'm going to once more emphasize

the similarities...

...of those things which we see....

Similarities with human anatomy.

First of all, here's the heart.

The intestines will be going

through their peristaltic action.

X-W-V-U...

...A-F-P.

That's incorrect.

The correct spelling of nuisance...

...is N-U-I-S-A-N-C-E.

They're pulling us up.

Class, these are the cotton balls

with the chloroform.

As soon as I get them all in,

put the lid on right away.

That's it.

That will start them going to sleep.

They won't feel anything. They won't be hurt.

It'll take a little while.

If you don't want to watch them,

you don't have to.

Say hi.

Can you talk?

Can you say hi?

Uncle Ralph!

It's Uncle Ralph, long distance from California!

I'll talk fast. This call must be expensive.

No. If I call anytime on Saturday

without an operator...

...it's five minutes for 85 cents plus tax.

If I talk less, I pay less.

Let me talk to that little fella.

Lou, it's Uncle Ralph.

Hello, Uncle Ralph.

Save him.

Run for your life! Back to the river!

Back to the forest!

Run! I want to save you!

Let's get out of here!

Get out!

I got to let him go!

You've got to save him!

Let me handle this!

Let me handle this! I can handle this.

Let me get this.

I'm afraid Betsy Sue

isn't going to run tomorrow.

No. Is it anything serious?

Harvey, I'm home. Come here, boy.

Here he is.

Here's who?

The man from the moon,

but I think you've killed him already.

As soon as I unload the stuff, okay?

Bugs.

I want you to meet somebody.

This stuff has gone up so much in one week.

I want you to meet somebody.

When I finish putting this stuff away, okay?

Stupid rag. I knew it wouldn't come out.

''B.''

What's with this?

Hello.

Yeah, this is she.

''Basket.

''Bandit.

''Ball.

''Basket. Bandit. Ball.

''Bugs.

''Bananas.''

Intoxicated?

You sure you have the right Elliott?

''B.''

''B.''

-''Biscuits.''

-''B.''

''B.''

...with a baseball and bat.

You said ''B.''

''B.''

You said ''B.''

Good.

''B.''

''Good.''

I'll be right down. Thank you.

Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliott.

-Will you be a good girl--

-Mommy, he can talk.

Of course he can. I'll be back. Stay there.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...little Grover here will demonstrate...

...by chinning himself two times.

Two times?

Two times.

Can I start?

Go ahead.

Okay. Here we go.

Phone.

Phone.

Phone.

Phone.

You want to call somebody?

I am not paying for frogs.

Be good. Be good.

Stay here. Stay.

Don't tell anybody.

Nobody.

Be good. Be good.

Move.

God!

-Elliott.

-What?

Elliott.

Elliott.

I taught him how to talk. He can talk now.

Look what he brought up here all by himself.

What's he need this stuff for?

Elliott.

E.T. Can you say that?

Can you say E.T.?

E.T.

E.T.

E.T.

Be good.

I taught him that, too.

You should give him his dignity.

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen!

Rate this script:3.7 / 10 votes