East Side, West Side Page #6

All right, Mark.

Come on, come on. Beat those eggs.

If it weren't so hard

to get help these days,

I swear I'd let you go.

Now, the onions, at this point,

are a golden brown.

So, we add the mushrooms and let them

get acquainted for a few minutes, see?

I'll bet you thought when I came in here,

I was gonna

start yelling for spaghetti, huh?

Why does everyone think

Italians love spaghetti?

- Don't you like spaghetti?

- You think I'm crazy?

All Italians love spaghetti.

What kind of an Italian

is named Mark Dwyer?

Well, when a man named Marco Andacci

finds a day-old baby

in an apple box on a doorstop,

and the box says,

"Dwyer's Oregon Apples,"

then he names the baby "Mark"

for himself, and "Dwyer" for the apples.

- Oh, Mark, he adopted you?

- Yeah.

He's the finest man who ever lived.

He died just a few years ago.

Well, then,

you don't know that you're Italian.

I spoke Italian before I spoke English.

You know, when I first got to Italy,

it was terrific. It was like being home.

The first time someone came up to me

and says, "Come sta..."

No good?

Well, where did you pick it up?

- School. My accent terrible?

- No.

I've always been

rather gifted at languages.

It's time for the eggs.

Now, you stop distracting me.

You with your gifts.

And this is the way you make

eggs, onions and mushrooms.

You've never tasted

anything like this in your life.

My mother taught me to cook that

when I was seven years old.

Well, then, what have

you been watching me for?

I was hoping you'd leave something out.

Now, that's better. That's much better.

No, don't stop.

I've been working awfully hard

for that laugh.

Yes, I know you have.

You've been very kind.

Why?

I... I'm not sure yet.

When I am, I'll let you know.

Mark, listen...

Yeah, sure, sure.

As soon as I dish these eggs up.

I'll listen, only please don't tell me

that we're strangers,

not again,

because you know that isn't true.

No, it isn't true. I'm comfortable with you.

Yeah. Well, it happens that way.

It doesn't mean anything.

You don't know what anything means.

You're all mixed up, Jess.

Come on, now. Eat your eggs.

It'll make you feel better.

Good?

Wonderful.

You know, Jess, I'm in a funny position.

I can't very well ask if you could

feel anything about me. You're married,

and I'm not in the wife-stealing business,

but why did you have to come

to that airport?

I do beg your pardon.

Brandon, this is Mark Dwyer,

the Lees' guest of honor.

You missed meeting him

at the party tonight.

I've heard a great many things about you,

but they didn't include cooking.

Well, I handle a fair frying pan.

You don't mind

if I don't help you with the dishes?

I'll see you to the door, Mark.

Good night, Dwyer.

Drop in again sometime.

Thanks.

- I'll call you in the morning.

- Thank you, Mark, for everything.

Why don't you throw it at me, Jess?

Why don't you scream, and yell,

and ask me where I've been?

Why hold it in?

Why not say it and get it over with?

It was rude of me not sending flowers

to Miss Lorrison last year

when she went away.

Do you suppose I could make amends

by sending champagne

as a welcome-home present

now that she's back?

Look, she came to the office today

pretending she wanted me to

invest some money for her.

I knew it was a trick,

but she made me take her home.

- What did she do, drug you?

- Jessie, listen to me.

Why? Will it be fun

to tell me all the details?

- You're going to listen!

- To what?

To some dirty little story

that makes our marriage a joke?

She hasn't got anything

to do with our marriage, my love for you.

- She couldn't...

- Your love for me!

Jess, can't you understand

what this is for me?

I'm like a drunk

who knows liquor will wreck him.

He hates it, he hides from it, he...

He tries.

What are you asking for? Permission?

Bran...

Bran!

- I'm sorry, Jess.

- I'm sorry, too.

I can't take it lightly,

because I want you

as much as you want her.

You're wrong, Jess. It's you I want.

If that weren't true,

why wouldn't I ask for my freedom?

You're everything that's good in my life.

Don't you think I know that?

This other thing is...

- It's like a sickness.

- But it does go on.

You never ask for promises,

and I never make them.

But now, I'll make you a promise.

Jess, I'll never see her again. Never.

Don't make this promise

unless you mean to keep it.

It'll be kept.

Are you sure that's all she has, Josephine?

Just black coffee and toast?

I'm positive, Mr. Bourne.

Come in, Josephine.

- Your new maid, madam.

- Why, Bran.

It's awfully early in the morning

to be looking so lovely.

It's just as early in the morning

to be so gallant.

- Did you sleep at all, darling?

- A little.

I didn't. I had a lot of thinking to do.

Jess, why don't we go down to Virginia

for a few weeks?

Just the two of us. Let's get away.

Isn't that running for cover, Bran? We...

We can't stay away forever.

I know, but it isn't for that reason.

I want the feeling

that we're making a fresh start, Jess.

Alone, the two of us. The way it should be.

The way it's going to be, darling.

Of course, I'd love to.

I'll clean things up at the office,

get our tickets,

pick you up here at about 6:30,

and we'll be dining on the train at 8:00.

- You love eating on trains, Jess.

- You know I do.

Will you pack for me, too?

And will you not leave out

my handkerchiefs, the way you always do?

- All right, then?

- All right, dear.

Let's keep it this way.

- Let's always keep it this way.

- Yes, darling.

- Goodbye, Josephine.

- Goodbye, Mr. Bourne.

Come in.

- Good morning, Mrs. Bourne.

- Good morning, Josephine.

- It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?

- Oh, very beautiful.

Mrs. Bourne's residence.

Mr. Dwyer?

Just a moment, sir.

I'll see if Mrs. Bourne is awake.

Thank you.

Good morning, Mark.

I don't know whether

you want to talk to me or not.

Well, it's certainly the least I owe you.

But when?

No, I'm sorry. I can't make it tomorrow.

I'm going away for a few days,

with Brandon.

Mark?

No, don't worry. I haven't fainted.

I was just thinking about time,

which I don't have much of.

Look, I'll tell you what. I have to see

some old friends this afternoon.

You know, I've got some news

about their family in Italy.

Why don't you come along with me?

We can talk in the car, hmm?

Fine.

Suppose I pick you up around 3:00?

Oh, no, wait a minute.

No, that's no good.

I've got an appointment then.

You'd better make it 4:00, okay?

And...

Listen, Jess, get one thing straight.

You don't owe me anything.

Hey, Mark!

- Hiya.

- I'm not really off till 5:00.

You're my sick aunt

I'm taking to the doctor's.

Are you all mine till dinner,

through dinner and after dinner?

Just a drink.

You'd be surprised how long

I can nurse one drink, mister.

Tell me something.

When a guy ditches a girl,

why is he always the one

with the long, suffering face?

Since when were you ever mine

to ditch or not to ditch?

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