East Side of Heaven

This is Postal Union with a personal

greeting for Mr. and Mrs. James Travers.

'Twas 50 years ago today

You said love, honor and obey

A union half a century old

Must surely have been

wrought in gold

The message is signed,

"Harry."

If you think I'm going

to put up with this

any longer,

you're crazy!

Oh, I'm crazy now!

Who said you were crazy?

You did.

I did not, I simply...

Shut up!

Hello?

This is Postal Union with a personal

greeting for Mr. and Mrs. James Monaco.

Now that you are man and wife

I wish you joy in married life

I'm sick and tired

of this continual fighting!

What?

You heard what I said.

There's nothing

quite so sweet as this

The joy that comes

with wedded bliss

Don't you dare do that,

don't you dare!

Here's your man,

Mr. Barrett.

Denny, our friend Mr.

Barrett wants you to sing

a birthday greeting

to his father.

All right,

what's the telephone number?

No, no. It has to be sung in person.

What do you mean?

Tonight?

Well, it'll have

to be tonight,

his birthday's over

at midnight.

Well, can't somebody else

handle this?

I got a date tonight.

For Mr. Cyrus Barrett Sr.,

your date will have to wait.

Now look, here's what

I want you to do.

You go to this address, and you sing

Happy Birthday to my dear old father.

Now don't let anything

stop you,

you just go right ahead

and sing it to him.

Tell him it's from

his loving son.

Is it okay if I stop for

a few minutes on the way?

Yeah, but don't be

too long.

All right.

Oh, and listen.

Listen, when you sing, give it

out good and strong, with feeling.

You sure you wouldn't rather

have me sing Sweet Adeline?

No, no, no, no, no,

Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday, okay.

Sometimes I feel like a cross between

a nightingale and a carrier pigeon.

You know, this is

going to be very good.

My father hates music and he

particularly hates singers.

It'll be funny,

won't it?

Very funny.

Just a thought, that's all, just a thought.

Calling Mr. Robertson.

Mr. Robertson, please.

Hi, Denny.

Hello, small fry,

how's everything?

Okay, how are you?

Can't complain,

can't complain.

What's doing, Gay?

Oh, fine, Denny,

how's it with you?

Oh, can't complain,

can't complain at all.

Hotel Raleigh.

I'll get him for you.

Are you new here

or am I being too fresh?

No, to the first question,

yes, to the second.

Your face is very familiar, have

you ever been to Atlantic City?

Have you?

Yes.

Then I haven't.

What do you do

with your evenings?

Some I spend,

some I pass.

You know all the answers,

don't you?

I should, I sit here all day.

Hotel Raleigh.

Girlie, you're much

too beautiful to work.

Now, if you'd only

listen to me,

you could loll around all day

on a velvet couch,

eating bonbons until you got

as big as a house.

Oh, Denny, you're such a fool.

Drat. Discovered.

Hotel Raleigh.

I'll connect you.

Why the official chapeau?

Postal Union

brings you sad tidings.

Not overtime again?

I won't be long, though, if you'll

just pull in your belt for an hour,

we can still have

my bachelor dinner together.

Are you sure you don't want to spend

the evening with Nicky and the boys?

I'm positive. I know all

their jokes by heart.

Besides, I wanna have one last dinner

with you while we're both single.

Oh, Denny.

I can hardly believe

it's true.

Oh, it's true all right

this time.

There's the license.

Don't lose that.

Oh, no chance,

it goes right in the vault

with the rest of

my important papers.

Hotel Raleigh.

Thank you.

So long, dear.

Mercury flies

on winged feet.

I used to pose

for bookends.

Are you happy, honey?

Very happy.

Is he one of the reasons?

He's all of the reasons.

Hotel Raleigh.

Do my sensitive ears detect again the

distant chime of your wedding bells?

Yes, it's all set

for tomorrow morning.

Congratulations.

If I remember correctly,

this is the third time my

congratulations have been premature.

Fourth. Only this time

it's really gonna happen.

I see.

And may I tell my radio audience

what the charming bride is wearing?

I'll wait till it's over, then

I'll tell you all about it.

If you do, it'll be the first

thing you've ever told me.

You know, Mary,

if you wanted to be nice,

I could write

half my broadcast

from what goes

over your switchboard.

My business is connecting

people, not separating them.

Hotel Raleigh.

That's a very good line.

If you listen tomorrow night,

you'll hear it.

By the way, why don't you drop

down to one of my broadcasts?

Then we can come back here to my

apartment and have a bite of supper.

Oh, I'd love to.

Ah, now we're

getting somewhere.

Only I don't think Denny

would like your apartment.

I see.

Well, I'll keep trying.

You have the wrong number.

Postal Union.

I have a personal greeting

for Mr. Barrett.

Mr. Barrett is engaged at

present, you'll have to wait.

Why, Denny!

Mona Parker,

I had no idea you lived...

I'll talk to you later.

Sit down, Mona.

You know my attorneys,

Mr. Fisher, Mr. Loftus.

How do you do?

Yes, we've met.

Mr. Barrett tells me

that you've decided

on a trial separation

from his son.

Yes, I have.

Well, perhaps

you're right, Mona.

I admit Cyrus has behaved

very badly.

Drinking

and running around...

May I point out,

Mr. Barrett,

that you're responsible?

I beg your pardon?

You've tried to run our lives

as well as your own

and it just

hasn't worked out.

Well, I meant well

by both of you.

If Cyrus loves me, he'll come to his

senses and straighten himself out.

And if he doesn't, well,

then we just don't belong

together. That's all.

That's certainly a reasonable

way of looking at it.

What's happened between you

two is no business of mine.

I'm only concerned

with one thing.

I know what

you're going to say.

If I leave my baby here,

you'll offer me a settlement.

Is that right?

I knew you were a smart girl.

You're doing the proper thing

in considering the welfare

of your child first.

I know it.

That's why

I'm taking him with me.

You will do as I say,

if you know

what's good for you.

Of course, you know

there are legal means

by which Mr. Barrett may

obtain custody of the child.

I'm warning you, you better

accept the settlement.

I've supported myself

before, I can do it again.

You've no right

to deprive that child

of the things

that I can give it!

There's one thing

you've forgotten.

I happen to be

the child's mother.

And I think

she's absolutely right.

Who are you?

I'm Denny Martin,

Postal Union.

What do you want?

Well, I have a personal

greeting for you, sir.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Father

Happy birthday to you

Signed, "Your loving son."

Get out of here!

Okay.

But I still think she's right.

Go on! Get out of here!

Oh, I'm going.

I can take a hint.

Get out of here!

Hello?

Hello.

Who is it?

Nicky.

What do you want?

Orange juice, ham and eggs,

toast and coffee.

Okay.

Hello?

Hello, sleepyhead,

this is the bride.

Hello there,

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