Easy Money

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Greetings from Martin's Comedy Movies

Hey, take it easy will ya!

Hey, who's the big birthday girl, huh?

- Me!

- Oh boy, hey how old are you?

I'm this!

Well call me when you're this, okay.

All right here we go now.

You got it straight, okay?

Hold it there.

Hey, beautiful, beautiful! Okay!

Hey, what happened here?

What's the matter, huh?

Johnny hit me. He don't like me anymore.

Oh, I know what you're

goin' through, ya know.

You gave him the best three

months of your life, huh?

Then he left you for a pail and shovel.

What do you see in him, anyway?

What are you in love with?

He's not in your class. He's afraid

of the dark. He wets his pants.

When he eats, he gets food all

over his face. He's a mama's boy.

What are you, in nursery school now?

I guarantee you, by the time

you get to kindergarten,

you'll forget all about him, okay?

Hey, look who's here!

Show time! Bobby Bunny, huh?

Here we go, kids, let's go here.

Bobby Bunny's here...

- What's that?

- Oh, nothing, nothing.

Bobby Bunny just dropped

a few carrots, that's all.

Well, let's go over today's schedule.

It is exactly 6:
33.

It is exactly 6:
34.

At 7:
00, we're meeting with the

head of the furniture department

regarding inventory.

Postpone the meeting.

Double-check the inventory,

and fire the cleaning staff.

7:
20, you will crush the hopes

of the loading dock workers

regarding better working conditions.

Cancel the meeting,

and send out a memorandum

that the working conditions

at the loading dock

will remain as they have for

the past 35 years.

Mm-hmm.

At 7:
30, we'll be meeting

with the accountants

regarding donations and

charitable contributions.

Cancel that meeting,

and cancel my check to Boy's Town.

What time is Scrappleton coming?

Uh, 7:
50, with the legal

papers you requested.

As soon as you finish with Scrappleton,

we leave for New Dorp, Staten Island

to attend your granddaughter

Allison's wedding.

Well, I hope she's made a better choice

than her mother did!

Jesus! Rose!

How did you talk me into this?

You should use Allison.

She's the one who has to wear it.

It's unlucky for the bride to wear

her gown before the wedding day.

How unlucky can she get,

look who she's marrying.

Come on dear,

you shouldn't talk like that.

Julio's a good boy.

Come on, Rose, will ya?

See the guy for what he is.

He belongs to a gang.

It's a good boy's gang.

They help people.

- Ooh, take it easy, will ya?

- Oh, I'm sorry. Where'd I get you?

If I show you where you got me

we'll never get outta here.

All right, hold still.

I've gotta finish this.

You gotta pick up the cake,

and mother will be here soon.

Your mother.

I gotta go to the john.

Monty! Oh, the dress!

- No, you're wonderful.

- Allison, I need the phone.

- I'm in here!

- Come on, get outta there!

- Get off, will ya?

- I am so hung up on you.

Good idea. I'll see you in church.

Daddy!

Don't worry, you won't

lose him, all right.

Belinda, let's go.

Someday I'll be out of your life.

Yeah, right now get outta

the bathroom, all right.

The best thing about having daughters.

Nicky boy, it's Monty.

Close the door.

Yeah?

Nicky, Rose's mother,

she's on her way over.

So? What do you want from me?

I need the truck.

I gotta pick up the wedding cake.

What am I supposed to be, Allied Vans?

You really know how to push

a friendship, you know?

When's the last time

you did something for me?

Hey Monty you got a

short memory, you know?

Who drove all the way

down to Atlantic City

to bail you out when you owed $400?

At Belmont, you had

four losers in a row.

Who gave you the winner in the fifth?

The cake's for your godchild,

you ungrateful bastard you!

All right, all right.

Give me a chance. I'm comin'.

- Where's my stuff?

- By the front door. What's the rush?

I gotta go to work.

I got a wedding to pay for.

Don't forget the cake.

How many years you know me?

Did I ever forget anything?

Nicky, just in time. Beautiful!

I don't wanna see her f***ing... mother!

- Was it Nicky?

- No, no. It's not Nicky. No.

- Oh, it's mother!

- Leave him, dear.

Just simply walk out on him.

His entire body is bloodshot.

He'll never change.

Nice to see you too.

It's gonna be so much

fun having everyone here.

Yeah, a lot of fun, a lot of fun.

Well, if it isn't my favorite relative.

Oh, don't start that bullshit, all right.

Monty, please bring

mother's luggage upstairs.

- Well what's Clive, a footstool?

- No, no, Monty, let me get this.

- How can you stand him?

- You've gotta get to know him.

The wedding is gonna be wonderful.

We never get to see you.

The store takes up all my time.

Mother, why do you push

yourself so hard?

The money doesn't matter.

When your father was alive,

he ran Monahan's like a tyrant.

He paid the help next to nothing.

- He drove them like sled dogs.

- Wonderful man.

Wonderful! Now that he's gone,

I carry on his work.

Rose,

I don't know how you can

live with that man.

We're happy just the way we are.

Happy? Yeah, we were

until a few minutes ago.

And we don't want a dime from you.

You understand?

No offense.

No offense?

No offense?

You are an offense!

Why, you can barely walk erect.

You pollute the air with your smoking.

You reek of liquor and

God knows what else.

You're an ecological menace!

Yeah, well you were the

inspiration for twin beds.

And I'll tell you something else...

Monty, don't start with mother.

I'm not startin' nothin'.

It never ended.

And to think of who you could

have married. Pat Flannigan.

Do me a favor, will ya,

don't start throwing up the

guys she could've married.

He started out as a bricklayer.

Now he owns his own

construction company.

And what about Tom O'Rourke?

He started as a busboy.

Today he has his own restaurant.

Oh, yeah, I started out as a baby.

Today I'm a baby photographer.

I'll see you later.

And I'm sure you're gonna

talk about me when I'm gone.

Where do you live, in Vermont?

What took you so long?

Why do you let her mother get to you?

Forget about her, will ya?

She never wanted Rose

to marry me. Never.

She says I drink too much,

I smoke too much, I gamble.

She's right, but what am I gonna do?

I can't control myself.

I got no, uh, what's the word

I'm looking for, I got no...

Class.

Nah, we know I got class, no.

It's a certain word I'm looking' for.

What's the word for someone

who can't say "no"?

- Sonya.

- Not Sonya. No, not Sonya.

No, I got no...

Willpower! That's the word

I'm lookin' for.

Willpower, I got no willpower.

That's what it is.

Yeah, willpower.

Make a left on Elm. I got a quick shoot.

What shoot? You didn't say

anything about a shoot.

Leave me alone. I got enough

problems. Just take a left on Elm.

I got a quick shoot. I'll be quick.

You can help me, all right.

Oh, I can help you. Well, thanks.

You really think I got no class?

No, I don't think you got no class.

I'm gonna be sad. Mmmmm.

Very good, okay!

Now, I'm gonna be a monster.

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