Eat a Bowl of Tea Page #3

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- Why do you ask me that?

- Will you carry me off with you?

Stop tormenting me.

I'll take care of you.

I don't care where it is, Michael.

Just take me there.

Take me quick.

Take me.

Sh*t!

Hold on!

Hey, long time no see, huh?

Oh, say, you fixed

this place up real nice.

- You must be ready, big boy.

- I'm a married man now.

- Are you kidding?

- No.

Hello. You must be his wife.

- Would you get out of here?

- Sure.

- Bye. Nice meeting you.

- Bye.

Jeez, can you believe this?

She probably got the wrong apartment

and comes barging in like that.

Jesus.

How dare you enter the Crystal Sea

Palace! You naughty monkey.

What are you doing here?

What's this?

These are two tickets

to Washington D. C...

...and this is the hotel reservation.

Is this some kind of joke?

The train leaves at 6:00.

Why don't you fix this?

I can't work with this sh*t.

You're the manager,

do something.

At 6:
00, I have to feed 400 people,

and the show's not ready yet.

Come on.

Hey, I know you.

I didn't recognize you.

Remember me?

I'm your Uncle Ah Song.

I was at your wedding party.

Thank you.

You want me to call you a cab?

Hello, Mei Oi?

I shouldn't have yelled at you like that,

I guess...

And I'm sorry.

It's just you coming in like that

in front of everyone at work...

They're gonna think

we've got a problem.

We do have a problem.

We can talk about that later.

You don't want me anymore.

That's not true.

I do want you.

But I can't do a damn thing about it.

How do you think

that makes me feel?

Honey!

Can I see you tomorrow?

If you agree,

put out the fishbowl.

Thank you.

Honey?

I got a surprise for you.

What is it?

It's a television set.

King-size Old Golds, the taste

treat of all king-size cigarettes.

Now, regular Old Golds, the world

famous "Treat instead of a treat."

Honey.

The pack on the left is better.

Honey?

You can watch programs

during the day too.

You can catch all the ball games.

It must have cost a lot of money.

So what?

It's something for you to do when

you're here by yourself. Like company.

Hit him.

Put up your guard.

I gotta go back to work, but

you can watch boxing. Come on!

A machine is not the same thing

as a husband!

You're just like my mother.

I wish I was in China with her!

One! Two! Three!

Fight's over.

I'm gonna go to bed, Mei Oi.

You want to watch this?

- Potter. Professor Nicholas Potter.

- And wife, Susan.

- Good night.

- We were invited.

The ladies' cloakroom is the second

door to the left, madam.

You know what?

I think she's gained a little weight.

She looks the same to me.

Not everybody is in a hurry

to have a baby.

Not Chinese people.

The old ones want children,

the young ones produce them.

There must be something

wrong with the husband.

Your mother.

You got too many mouths.

Well, everybody's saying it.

Hey, hey.

I hear Ben Loy

has got a new name.

- Hey, what name?

- No Can Do.

"No Can Do." That's a good one.

"No Can Do."

- "No Can Do," just like you.

- Chong Loo, "No Can Do."

Not me.

I look like 16-year-old.

Sixteen, my ass!

What's the matter with you?

Hey, Old Lum?

Old Lum?

Your mother!

You were like a son to him.

He died of a broken heart.

He wanted to see Ben Loy's first son.

What are these things for?

It's a bridge into the next world.

It's a ritual.

You want to call her back?

Hello?

The most wonderful thing happened.

I couldn't wait to tell you.

You won't believe this.

What is it?

What?

What's the matter?

That was Mei Oi.

She just got home from the doctor.

She's pregnant.

She's going to be a mother?

You're going to be a father?

I'm going to be a grandfather.

We're going to be grandfathers!

We're going to have a grandson!

We're going to have a boy!

Thank you.

- Just a little.

- It's good for you.

Now, we have a toast.

Maybe we'll have a boy.

Maybe we'll have a girl.

But we have to start somewhere.

A toast!

When did we go to Washington?

What?

Wasn't that a while ago?

Your father is excited.

So is my father.

Even if it's a girl, they'd be pleased.

Don't you think so?

How beautiful.

- I'd like to live there.

- Yeah, me too.

It'd be simpler.

Yeah, my dad's really happy.

And you? Are you happy too?

Didn't we keep the train ticket stubs?

They'd have the date on them

when we went to Washington.

Watch it, Loy Gaw!

Please go.

Okay.

Let's go to Miami.

Just tell him you got

a sick cousin in Florida, okay?

No, I can't.

Come on.

No!

No. Go on!

Hey!

As the relentless march of the Red

Chinese army into Korea continued...

...President Truman took action...

- Bad news.

Nothing but bad news.

It's going to be World War III.

They will put us in their camps...

...just like they did the Japanese!

Chong Loo, what's new?

- What am I, a newspaper?

- Hey, you're louder than a newspaper.

It's not all bad news these days.

At least Wah Gay's daughter-in-law

has a big belly.

Well, there's more than one way

to get a big belly.

What are you talking about?

Now don't let this out of this room.

Let it disappear right here, okay?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

The president has frozen all assets

of Red China and the U. S...

...and the government in Peking has

seized all American property there.

American citizens have been warned

to stay out of China...

...where their passports

are no longer valid.

In Hong Kong today,

British officials...

Come on, China hasn't been

our home for 30 years.

How about your wife?

She's giving the Commies hell,

God bless her.

You know...

...I was going to go back next year.

The truth is,

we were never meant to go back.

What counts is our grandchildren

are gonna grow up here, right?

You gonna come by the club?

Really!

Wah Gay's daughter-in-law!

- I don't believe it.

- Nowadays, women are no good.

He goes right up to her apartment

while the poor bastard's at work.

When a woman is horny,

she'll do anyone.

Papa.

Mei Oi...

You tell me yourself...

...why people

are saying that you...

...that you...

Papa!

It's not true!

Ben Loy! Ben Loy!

Are you possessed by demons?

I am going to beat the hell out of you!

What do you think you're doing,

you son of a b*tch!

Let go of me!

I want to talk to you!

It's all over town!

And they don't say it's your wife

that's running around.

It's Wah Gay's daughter-in-law!

My daughter-in-law!

I got no face, thanks to you!

Guess I'm the last

to know about it, huh?

Uncle.

- That's him.

- Him?

Ben Loy.

Hi, Uncle.

I was just dropping off the books.

Come into my office.

Tell me how the job's going.

It's going fine.

Hours are kind of long.

- My wife...

- Wants you to be home more.

Yeah. It's kind of hard for her.

With the baby coming, I understand.

I was kind of hoping

that my wife and I could go away...

Your uncle is going to do you a favor.

I have an opening at my factory

out in Jersey.

It's a good job with a great future.

You know...

...you'll be doing a smart thing

if you accept this offer.

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