Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds

Coming!

I'm coming as fast

as I can!

Hey, 'sup, man?

What's up, dude?

Sorry, I'm late.

No problem.

So, uh,

I'll go get my suit.

Did you bring

the spare board?

Oh, bro, no I didn't.

I for got it,

but you know what-

I got something else

you can ride.

Oh, dude,

I got you all wet.

Maybe we should get you

out of those clothes, bro.

Dude... I got a girlfriend.

She know you mess

around with dudes?

Or are you just

some big closet case?

Or maybe you're confused.

Or maybe...

you like playing confused.

I, I don't know, I...

I, I don'tknow

what I am.

You're so sexy

when you stammer.

You're good.

Yeah, I play confused,

but don't get me wrong...

I'm straight...

Mostly.

Now, rip open my shirt.

Sir, yes sir.

Strip.

Amateur.

Less teeth, more tongue.

This is how you do it.

That feels so good.

God, I love your tits!

Stop calling them tits!

I could eatyourtits all day.

Stop callingthem tits.

I love your tits.

Stop calling them tits!

Sorry, I love your breasts!

Iwannafuckyour breasts!

Shane... Sweetie.

Are you havingthat

gayfantasyagain?

Honey... it's not you, it's...

Well, it's you.

What's wrong iflwant

to see alittle boyon boy

in the bedroom?

Nothing, I guess -

ifyou'rea gayman.

I'mcloseenough.

But you can't expect me

to go gayeverytime

you wanna have sex.

I don'twantyou to begay-

Just gay-er.

So youwantme to get it on with

another guyin front ofyou?

Well, in front of,

on top of, yeah.

Gwen, I'mnot gay.

I'mnot bi.

I'maheterosexual breeder.

And ifyou can't acceptthat,

then weprobably

shouldn'tbe dating.

Howcan you beso homophobic?

You'reridiculous!

Don't even think

you're breaking up with me!

I'm breaking up with you.

Huh?

I'vesatin millions ofbedrooms

and listenedto millions ofboys

tell methey're leaving

meforthepole.

I'mnot gonna sithereand have

oneleaveme for p*ssy.

What?

I'm leaving you, Shane!

Go not suck all

thedickyou want!

Yeah?

Andyou keep letting that

prideparademarch right on

through your crotch!

Gaybasher!

Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits! Tits!

Stop thespread offaggotry!

Stop the spread offaggotry.

Fag!

Iwish!

Itoldyou this was

gonnahappen!

I know, Kyle!

That's allyou said

from daytwo!

"You're too hot, Marc!

You'regonnaleaveme. "

And look howrightlwas.

Youweren'tright, Kyle.

Your puppydog eyes and goofy

charm turned meon.

Butyouwouldn'tbelieveit.

Howcould I believe itwhen

youflirtwith everyone?

I don'tflirtwith everyone;

Ijustlikemakingfriends.

Didyou haveto

befriend everymember

ofthe gymnastics team

and Alpha GammaTestes?

God, it's like you're

onlyhappywhen youthink

you can'thaveme.

Iwouldn'tbe jealous ifyou

went outand made

some hotfriends.

See!

I'mtoo boring for you!

You want aboyfriend

who's all social and hangs out

with confident, sophisticated

gods like... him.

Hey, Sebastian.

Who'sthis?

Who areyou?

He's here

for emotional support.

I'msupposedto be

your emotional support!

You'retoo emotional.

Fags.

So what, it's been about...

five days since you

last jerked off?

Wow! You'regood.

Thanks, Eric.

Thatwasfun.

Thankyou, Teri.

It's Tiffani.

And I thinkthis is yours!

Have fun f***ing his puppy

dog eyes and goofycharm.

I hope somedayyou can

see past everything you don't

likeaboutyourself and realize

wehad something special.

Wow, thatwas HallMarky, Marc -

even for you.

Stop the spread offaggotry.

Stop the spread offaggotry.

Okay, just becausewe used

to datethesameloser

doesn't mean wehaveto be

all cuntyto each other.

You'reright.

Truce?

I'm s...

What's wrong?

I don't wanna

bea slutanymore.

Iwant aboyfriend!

Ijust reallywish

Caleb was still here.

Isthattheheterosexualyou

weretryingto sleep with?

No... Well, yes, he was my

roommatewho I used to want.

Your roommatedumped you?

No, myboyfriend dumped me.

Myroommateisn'there

to help methrough this.

So is your roommate thegay

oneorthestraight one?

You'renotlisteningto me.

Myboyfriend's gay!

And notjustthat-

he'sthehottest gay

Iwill ever make itwith!

Honey, you'regonnamakeit

with plenty ofhotties.

It's not even that.

He's gonnafind anew

boyfriendfirst

and I'mgonnabe alone.

Youwon'tbe alone.

Thereareplenty

ofrainbowfish in thesea.

Ha, ha.

Plentyof c*cks

in thehenhouse.

Mom!

Plentyoffreshmen ass

in thelocker room.

Eww! Mom!

Kyle, I amreallytrying here.

I know, Mom.

Thanks.

Do you knowwhatit's

like to bea gayman

trapped in a woman's body?

MyGod, you haveno idea.

Well, there's likefive

gaymen trapped insideofme.

And they'reall greasyand

having sexwith each other,

just trying to...

fucktheir wayout.

Send mean X-ray.

Whyareyou being

all FionaApple?

I brokeup with Shane.

He's single?

Hands off, cockmonger.

I'mkidding.

Whatis with straight guys and

their aversion to sucking dick?

Ijust got dumped.

Whatis with gay guys wanting

to suck everyone's dick?

Yeah, I heard.

I'm so sorry.

Thanks.

Sorryyou're apsychopath.

I saythis with mytrademark

sweetness, butyou do knowthat

Marc was thebestthing

thatwill ever

happen to you?

Hey, I'ma catch!

Says who?

Your mom?

Other peopledo, too!

Ijust... Iwantto hear,

"I loveyou,"

instead of"Take it,

you tightlittlesnatch. "

Hi, Mr. Thompson.

Tiffani -oh, I loveyour

pastel paisleyhalter

with thechiffon

inlet overlay.

Mywife has one

justlikeit.

Okay, class -fingertips!

I don't knowhowmanyof you are

sickto death of still life,

but ifl seeanotherfruit,

I'mgonnahavea hissy!

Ithink it's time

we trysomething

alittlemore... dangerous.

Class, meetTroy.

Ta da!

Troy's gonna model

for ustoday... nude.

Troyis a veterinarymajor

who has just moved here, fresh,

from alittle town

in Illinois known as...

oh, Troy.

Troy, from Troy.

Myparents didn'twantme

to forgetwherel wasfrom.

Howrustic!

He's gotan accent.

Helooks likehe's spent

his lifebailing hay

and... milkingthings.

Helooks likesex.

Well, um, Troy...

fromlllinois -

whenever youfeel inspired.

I uh...

So, wheredo you want me?

On myface.

Right hereon my desk

andwe'll getyou

in several differentpositions.

Missionary,

ReverseCowgirl, 69...

Chalksto paper!

Oops!

Dropped it!

Guess I'll haveto...

No, letme!

I don't wantyouto...

ruin anybody's artbymoving.

Hi.

Niceto meetyou.

Samehere.

I'mjust gonna...

Iwannahit thatharder

than Ike hitTina.

Iwannabe wrapped in

his armsforever and ever.

Iwanna seehim getit on

with his boyfriend.

Youthinkhe's gay?

Does Whitneywant crack?

Heythere!

I didn'trecognize you

withoutyour penis!

I hadto leave itthere -

school propertyand all.

I'mGwen.

Thegirlwith thebig

b*obs is Tiffani,

andtheguy

with the small...

I'm Kyle.

Troy.

From Troy...

Illinois.

Ooh, arethoseyour drawings?

Yeah.

This is mine.

That's Kyle's...

and... Tiffani's.

I'venever drawn onebefore

so Ifigured I'dfocus on it.

You're very generous.

I'ma giver.

This one's incredible.

Thanks.

You just... spoketo me.

Areyou an artmajor?

No.

She's undeclared, which is

practicallythe same thing.

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