Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds Page #2

Well, you should be.

How'd you getinto

nudemodeling?

Well, I grewup

in thecountry.

No one's around so I'd

just go naked alot.

Then I boughta webcam.

I'mso Googling you.

When I moved hereandfound

outl could getpaid

to hang outnaked,

Iwas like, sign me up!

Next stop:
porn!

Howmuch doesthat

ass ofyours bring in?

Fiftybucks a class.

Porn pays waybetter.

Well, I'd bejustas

likelyto do it

for a caseofbeer,

or weed.

Noted.

When didyou move here?

Acoupleweeks ago.

All byyour lonesome?

Yeah.

I'll betitwas great

to startall over -

whereno oneknows your

name andyou can do

anything youwant

with whomever you want.

Yeah, I guess.

Kindamiss mymom.

So, you'recloseto your mom?

I miss both my parents,

butthere's something

abouta mom, you know?

Aboyneeds none other

than thelove ofhis mother.

Uh, yeah.

We were gonna grab somecoffee.

Wanna come?

I gotta gethome.

Butthanksfor theoffer.

Maybesomeothertime?

Someonewaiting

for you athome?

Myroommate.

He's secretlyin lovewith me.

Seeyou in class.

Keep up the good work.

Keep up thegood... penis!

Itotallythoughthe was a

'mo until hemadethatlame,

straight guyjoke.

He's an enigmafucking a riddle

f***ing amystery.

I lovebeing single.

Stop the spread offaggotry.

But spreading

is myfavoritething.

I'll beprayingfor you.

Hold thatpose!

Would you boys

do mea favor?

Sitthere

for aminute... or 20

But Iwant him

out of herein five.

What's her story?

I usedto flirtwith this one,

butwe never did anything

because Iwasn'tavailable.

So we'regonna

make up for losttime.

Man whore!

Luckybastard.

Seethat guy overthere?

Thestudlyrack of meat

or your loser ex-boyfriend?

Themeatrack.

Marc pre-cheatedwith him -

andwith a coupleof

other guys, too.

Pre-cheated?

It's thisthing

that gays do.

Themomenttherelationship

starts getting alittlerocky,

theystartlining up

replacement sex partners.

Thesecondthey're

singleit's,

"Heyremember me?

Youwant somehead?"

Your boyfriend'sfar

too creampuffto cheat.

I didn't sayhe cheated.

Hepre-cheated.

God, you'reparanoid.

I knowhowhis mind works.

Iflwerehot enough

I'd do thesamething.

I guess it's over.

Lookwhatlfound!

Hey!

- Troy!

- Nudeguy!

So, Troy, thethreeof us

arefalling behind

in art class

andwe were wondering...

Do you havea preference?

See, itworks.

Nowtake off

your clothes, damn it!

This is kindaweird.

No, we'rejust gonna draw.

Really.

So, didyou leave someone

special back home?

Nope.

That's probably good.

Yep.

I'vealways wondered

whatit would belike

to live on a farm.

I mean,

what didyou do for fun?

Mostlywe'd drive

aroundthestrip on weekends,

or throwparties

in somefield.

I always likedtheidea ofbeing

out among allthenature.

Gettingfucked in arainstorm,

or gettingfucked on atractor,

or getting...

Well, I can't say

I did allthat.

Well, where did

you getfucked?

I dunno.

In the regular places -

a bed, in mycar.

In the ass?

Excuseme?

Oops!

I mean, boys or girls?

I'm sorry-ifyou don't

wannatalk aboutthis...

No, it's okay, I guess.

Girls... mostly.

What?

Doesthat freak you out?

No, honey.

I'mwhattheycall a"fag hag. "

So you aregaythen!

I am...

I'm not gay.

It's just...

Well, all kinds ofpeople

hit on meand Ijust kinda

go alongwith it.

Whatthehell

does thatmean?

I likeit.

I mean, we'rejustpeople-

justbodies

with organic needs...

So, didyou ever

havea girlfriend?

Sort of.

Whataboutboyfriends?

I had this reallyclose

friend in high school.

Butl never donemuch with a

guybecausel wanna getmarried

and havekids.

Notthat gay guys can't,

'cause theycan, it's just...

I dunno.

Being gay, it seems

likeso much work.

Amen, sister.

I mean, firstyou have

to tell everyone.

That's no fun.

- Andthen there's rejection.

- You'renever hot enough.

- STDs.

- Ifyou're lucky.

There'sthis group, Coming In.

I kindawanna go check 'em out,

'causelthink

theymightfixme.

The anti-gays?

Ex-gays.

Justlikeyou, Kyle.

Right?

- What?

- What?

Kyleusedto begay.

Youtwo should hang out,

getto know each other,

swap... stories.

You're an ex-gay?

Well...

You'relikemyidol!

Itotallyjust wantto get

insideyou

and learn everything.

Uhh...

Oh my God...

You two aretogether, right?

Yes!

We'reboyfriend and girlfriend!

I knewit!

You'realwaystogether,

but Iwasn't sure.

Itmust'vebeen thefact

that I act so faggy?

Andyou're really

straightnow?

As a cucumber.

God, no wonder Ifelt so

comfortablewith youtwo!

Howlong have you been together?

Afewmonths.

And it'strue love, isn't it,

mylittlesexmonkey?

Ahh!

And you'recomfortable

thatheused to...

Smokesausage?

We'veall got

skeletons in our closets.

His arejust

more well hung.

And how'sthat

goingfor you?

Howdo you think

it's goingfor him?

Look atme, I'mperfect!

Yeah.

She's awesome.

Heespeciallyloves mytitties.

Breasts.

So whatare the

meetings like?

Well, uh, I've never been

to this chapter.

Oh, myGod, would you do me

the biggestfavor?

Of coursel'd do you...

You have to takeme

to oneofthesemeetings.

There's one tomorrow.

You could bemysponsor,

or whatever.

Do it, honey.

It might do you somegood

to renewyour vows

to heterosexuality.

Notthathe doesn't

ride meeverynight.

Okay.

It's a date!

I'll be right back.

I have to go usethe head.

Whatthe helljusthappened?

Wejust got you laid

byTroyfromlllinois!

You mademean ex-gay!

Thoseare myleast

favorite kind of gays!

Growsomenuts.

Do you thinkhewould havebeen

remotelyinterested ifyou were

justanother gay guy?

Listen to me.

I don'thavea chance

in this godforsaken world

of ever wrapping mylips

around hisfortyacres

and amule-

Butyou do.

So, you'resaying he'll

letmehavesex with him

becausel'mnot gay?

You heard him.

You'll behis new

"closefriend. "

Since you'restraight,

you'll getto

hang outwith him.

You'll supporthimin those

straight emo bondingways

until eventuallyall his

repressed passion explodes.

Right down yourthroat.

This is sick!

You'reboth sick!

Youthinkit couldwork?

Damn!

Hey!

No way.

I'mso nervous.

It's okay.

You'll befine.

Whatareyou doing?

Straight malebonding,

step one.

Hi.

Hi.

I'mOctavio...

Octavio!

Introductions lead

to conversations

leadto invitations

ofintercourse

with thewrong persuasion.

I'll do theintroducing.

Whatthehell

do you want?

Wewantto join.

I findthathardto believe.

Maybeweshouldn't...

God believes me.

Well, I did prayfor you.

I know.

Spooky.

I'mJacob Buchanan,

Coming In president.

This is Derek,

Allan, Roy, and...

Violet.

Violet.

I'm Kyle.

- And...

- Troy.

Hi, Troy.

Hello, Kyle.

You do knowwhat we're

all abouthere, right?

At Coming In?

Well, yeah, buthe doesn't

need to be here.

He's a success story.

Kyle's renouncing his sexuality?

What's going on?

Areyou sitting down?

Now, who'd liketo speakfirst?

Okay, Iwill.

I havegreatnewsthatwill

changeall of our lives.

I'vebeen askedto present

thenewad campaign

for Coming In National.

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