Eating Raoul

Hollywood, California.

City of contrast.

Home to the rich and powerful...

...yet so popular

with the broken and destitute.

Here, sex hunger is reflected

in every aspect of daily life...

...and instant gratification

is tirelessly pursued.

A center of casual violence

and capricious harassment...

...where rampant vice and amorality

permeate every strata of society.

The barrier between food

and sex has dissolved.

It is a fact that prolonged exposure

to such a psychopathic environment...

...will eventually warp even the most

normal and decent among us.

This, then, is the story

of Hollywood today.

Not a pretty story, but presented

here exactly as it happened.

Really? Stomach cramps?

But it's such a good buy.

So is lighter fluid at $ 1.50 a pint...

...but I wouldn't serve it

to my dinner guests.

- Forget about Mountain Brook.

- My date wouldn't know the difference.

How about a nice...

...Beaujolais?

I'm sure it would go very well

with your meat.

- How much?

- $3.50 plus tax.

All right.

I'll take it on your say-so.

Now, you let me know

if you're not completely satisfied.

With the wine, you mean?

Bland, did you refuse that customer

a bottle of Mountain Brook?

I certainly did. It's undrinkable.

I'm not interested in your opinion,

Mr. Gourmet.

If a customer wants a wine

that we carry, that's what he gets.

I tried a bottle. It made me sick.

It makes me three times as sick if I get

stuck with those 10 cases we got.

- I think this man...

- Another thing.

Who told you to order a case

of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild?

This stuff goes for $400 a bottle.

We don't have customers for that.

You got your head up your ass?

I think this man...

Excuse me, one of you mind giving me

the money out of that register?

- What?

- Give me money out of the register...

...and make it fast.

- Mr. Kray, you killed him.

- Yeah.

Now, how about that Chateau Lafitte?

Dr. Benihana, Dr. Benihana,

you're wanted in Neurosurgery.

Dr. Benihana, Dr. Benihana,

you're wanted in Neurosurgery.

What's this garbage?

Liver puree, asparagus salad

and mixed fruit mash.

- Make a new man of you.

- Christ!

Hey, Mary, Paul called.

He's leaving work early.

He'll pick you up after work.

- Okay, thanks, Sheila.

- Paul?

Isn't that the dumpy dude

who came by for you a few days ago?

- Boy, he seems like a giant hard-off.

- He happens to be my husband.

Baby, you got a problem.

And we could solve it so easily.

Oh, what's that supposed to mean?

With your shape, that's like

wasting a natural resource.

- Open your mouth.

- Lf I do, will you open your legs?

I might do something for you,

if you would do something for me.

Eat that.

Dewey, how would you

like to unblock golden boy?

Love to.

- Okay, I'm ready.

- I can see you are.

I bet you thought I was

gonna run out on you.

No. You know a good thing

when you see it.

Hey, Mary.

They want you down in the kitchen.

I was about to give Mr. Baker

his high colonic.

- What?

- Don't worry, I'll do it for you.

Dewey, would you? But try not to tear

anything like you did last time. Bye.

- Hey!

- Don't worry.

She's just kidding.

Actually, enemas are my specialty.

What a luxury to be picked up.

How was your day?

Not great.

- What's wrong?

- I have a little headache.

I hope it goes away

when James comes.

That's all right.

We're having chicken cacciatore.

I hope this place that James found

is gonna be as good as it sounds.

I was thinking about what

we should name it.

I know that you love Chez Bland

and I do too...

...but, well, what if we just called it

Paul and Mary's Country Kitchen?

I have to take her to these parties

and watch her get laid.

- God, wives are the pits.

- Tell me about it.

- So are you two going to the party?

- We live here.

Too bad.

Excuse us.

- Hey, you guys, this is the floor.

- All right!

Hey, come down to 234.

We'll get it on.

You live in the building.

You must swing, right?

Wrong. Good night.

Well, you don't,

but I'll bet anything she does.

This building is beginning

to attract some real scum.

Oh, no. I don't believe it.

$ 175-a-month rent increase?

How are we gonna pay that?

Don't worry, honey. We can live

on our Instacash card for a while.

Aren't you forgetting something?

It was cancelled for nonpayment.

Well, we still have our jobs.

- Oh, no, Paul.

- I told him not to buy cheap wine.

Bad wine at a bargain price

is no bargain.

- But what does he care?

- It's not your fault.

We just weren't meant to work

in shops or hospitals.

All those bills and no credit.

What are we gonna...?

Let's sell your mother's collection

of fabulous '50s furniture.

Oh, no, Paul. You know Mama

only loaned it to us until she dies.

Well, there's that money we set aside

for the restaurant down payment.

But that won't keep us for very long.

You'll get another job. I could get

a raise. We'll get by somehow.

- James! What am I gonna say to him?

- Paul, don't say anything to him.

Stall him. I just don't want that

restaurant to slip through our fingers.

How you doing, pal?

Am I early, or what?

The early bird gets the p*ssy,

am I right?

Jesus, she looks like

a party all to herself.

Now, come on, get out of here!

Get out of here!

You don't screw her! Someone should.

Might as well be me.

I'll screw you later, sweetheart.

Hey, baby!

You shouldn't have done that.

- Oh, my God.

- He's gonna do it again.

- Paul, quick, get him in the bathroom.

- I'm sorry.

- Come on, come on.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

No, no. Some things

are private, man.

I've gotta spray the room

with something. This smell!

I just don't know why they let

swingers in the building.

Because they're so transient,

that's why.

They're always pairing up,

switching off, moving in and out...

...and the landlords get to raise

the rent every 10 minutes.

Sexual liberation.

Just look what it's brought us.

That is exactly the sort of person

we'll refuse to serve in our restaurant.

Now what?

Hello? What article?

Oh, Bon Appetit. Yeah, that's me.

Yes, I have a few bottles of that.

No, I don't think I'd be interested.

All right, I tell you what, Mr. Peck.

If I do, I'll give you a call, okay?

- Thank you. Goodbye.

- Who was that?

Some wine collector from New York

staying at the Wilton.

Wanted to buy some of

my Chateau Lafitte. Fat chance.

That reminds me.

What are we drinking tonight?

James is from the Valley.

He probably likes Chablis.

James. I forgot all about James. We

can't have that guy here if he comes.

Hello?

- Hello, can you hear me?

- Maybe he's asleep.

Hello?

Oh, my God.

Hey, come on, wake up.

You've gotta go now.

Come on, wake up.

He doesn't seem to be breathing.

- Do you think he drowned in the toilet?

- Well, he's not breathing.

What do you think?

- He's dead!

- Great. What do we do now?

- I don't know. Call the police?

- Well, call the police. Call the police!

Use the emergency number.

I hope they hurry.

Hello, officer, is this the police?

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