Eating Raoul Page #2

Yes, who do I speak to

to report a murder?

Not a murder, an accidental death.

Officer, I'm sorry,

an accidental death.

Guess what?

No. I think you have

the wrong number.

- What are you gonna do with him?

- Help him find his party.

Come on.

Good luck.

- Welcome to paradise.

- I've got to go.

Come on. What's your hurry?

Look at this place.

It's like a free candy store,

and you can eat any piece you find.

I've really got to go now. My wife...

Your wife.

How p*ssy-whipped can you get?

Look around you. Look at her.

She has eyes for you. She digs you.

- Really!

- She's your type too.

- You've seen it many times before.

- Yeah, but it's not the same one.

Look what he's stirring his drink with.

How gross!

I have to go. We're having a friend

for dinner, and if I don't get back...

Why are you so uptight, huh?

You're just trying to prevent yourself

from having a good time...

...from getting laid,

from getting free.

Right. Good night.

You look like you

need discipline, slave.

I have to go, really.

We're having a friend to dinner.

Lick my boot, pig!

Paul?

James' office called.

He'll be here in 15 minutes.

- Hello, baby.

- Where's Paul?

He's busy with the Marquis de Sade,

so I thought I'd get it on with you.

- No, thank you.

- That's all you're gonna say?

You won't help my ego by telling me

you got a weird p*ssy disease?

You get out of here!

Come on, honey.

Listen, don't be that way.

Under these expensive clothes

is a real lonely human being.

So come on, be nice to me!

Be nice to me!

No! Get off me!

Help, Paul!

Paul! Help me! No! No!

Get him off me, Paul!

Paul! Paul, stop it!

You killed him!

- You killed him!

- What?

- He's dead. He's really dead.

- Oh, sh*t! That's all I need.

What will we do now?

We can't call the police this time.

I don't know what to do.

Let's put him in the hallway

by the swingers' place.

They'll think

he fell down accidentally.

Mary, look at this.

This guy is a junior officer

at the Bank of San Fernando.

He must have $600 here.

"Ed Folsely Jr.,

Credit Card Division."

Think he's the one

who cancelled our credit card?

James!

What are we gonna say?

Take the money and put that back.

The police may go through the wallet

and find the money missing.

Leave a little money,

and they don't mind.

I don't wanna leave any of it!

This guy threw up on our carpet.

He cancelled our Instacash card.

He owes us at least $600.

- I'm not...

- Just a minute!

$600. Think if it. That could buy

a lot of things. I won't put that back.

Don't put the money back. Just make

sure James doesn't come in here.

- What will I say?

- Give him a drink.

- Make small talk.

- I can't.

You can. Get out there

and just be calm.

Just talk to James

and don't let him come in.

Oh, Paul, hi. The door was open.

I just came right in.

Are you and Mary having

a little argument?

I heard some noise in the kitchen.

I thought perhaps you...

No, she's just finishing dinner.

It'll be ready in a minute.

- I was helping her pound the veal.

- The veal? Veal's my favorite food.

But it's so expensive.

You shouldn't have.

Well, actually, the veal is for

tomorrow night. We're having chicken.

Okay.

- Would you like a drink? I know I do.

- Yeah.

- What can I get you?

- Whiskey would be fine.

"Whiskey would be fine."

"Whiskey would be fine."

He wants some whiskey.

- We're both gonna end up in prison.

- No, we're not.

We're gonna end up in the country

with our own nice little restaurant.

None of this ever happened.

Now, you take this drink to James...

...and dinner will be ready

in five minutes.

Mary, I just killed a man.

He was a man, honey.

Now he's just a bag of garbage.

I can't imagine anything more perfect.

- What's the down payment?

- Twenty thousand.

- In two weeks?

- Well, it's a great place.

It's gonna go pretty quick.

It's gonna get a taker.

I just hope it's you.

Look, I hate to eat and run. But I have

homework to catch up on at home.

So let me know about the place

as soon as you can.

- We will.

- You'll hear from us soon.

Oh, good. Okay, goodbye.

- Good night.

- Thanks for dinner.

- You're welcome.

- Good night. Bye.

Where are we gonna get $20,000?

Come on.

Help me take out the garbage.

You know, I was thinking about

going to the bank tomorrow for a loan.

- Well, what do you think?

- I guess it took him.

- I mean about the bank and the loan.

- What loan?

I was thinking about going to the bank

and getting a loan.

No bank is gonna loan us

any $20,000.

No, I know that.

But a bank might loan us 10,000.

And then we could sell

some of your wine collection.

- Sell some of my wine collection?

- Why not?

Mary, you know I've been saving

that wine for our restaurant.

But, honey, if we don't do something,

there's not gonna be any restaurant.

What if you just sold a few

of the most expensive bottles.

A few. Like, four?

- How about eight?

- Eight?

Well, okay, six.

How much would that bring us?

Six would bring us, I don't know,

about 500 a bottle.

That's $3000.

Paul, that would be such a help.

Yeah, 3000. Okay.

Paul and Mary Bland announce

the opening of their new restaurant.

Mary, if we call it

the Country Kitchen...

...can the specialty still be

the Bland enchilada?

I hope so. It's the best thing I do.

We have to find the money

for the restaurant first.

Isn't this man from New York rich?

He's staying at the Beverly Wilton.

He can't be broke.

Well, if he buys the wine,

and I get the loan from the bank...

...perhaps, maybe

we can swing this.

- Paul?

- Yeah.

- Where's my brush?

- Oh, it's in the bureau, honey.

- Paul?

- Yeah.

- What's this?

- What's what?

This card.

"Doris the Dominatrix. Discipline.

Mild or severe as you require.

Call for an appointment."

Oh, that. She's some madwoman

who attacks people with a whip.

She was at that swingers party.

- She gave you her card?

- She gave everybody her card.

That's disgusting.

Apparently, a lot of swingers

enjoy that sort of thing.

I don't mind a little hugging

and kissing.

But that...

Mary?

What do you think makes them go

for that weird stuff?

- Are they crazy?

- They're sick.

This world is overflowing

with millions of sexual freaks.

We're so lucky

to have found each other.

I know. Good night, dear.

Sweet dreams.

So how long will you be gone?

I don't know. As long as it takes

to apply for a loan.

You'll probably get it. That dress

sure shows off your collateral.

Think so?

Thanks for covering for me, Sheila.

Cleanup crew, you are needed

in Intensive Care.

That was pretty nasty what you let

that creep do to me yesterday.

- Whatever it was, it must have worked.

- Yeah, they're letting me out.

Congratulations. Goodbye.

Not so fast. Why don't you let me

buy you a drink or something?

Forget it.

What are you doing? I have an

appointment. I'm gonna be late now.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...

- Is this you? "Doris the Dominatrix"?

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