Eating Raoul Page #3

- That's right, buster.

And I'm out of your league.

Stay away from me, or I'll whip you!

I thought you were a lot more hip

than you let on.

How about telling me where she lives.

Mr. Baker, that's against regulations.

Mr. Bland, how are you?

I'm John Peck.

- How do you do?

- You brought them. Good.

Let's put the little beauties

down here on the coffee table.

Yes, excellent.

Lovely year, lovely.

Are you hungry?

I was about to go to the restaurant.

We can leave these here.

No one will trouble them.

I'll buy you dejeuner, and we'll haggle

about price over the steak tartare.

It's not George Cinq, but you'll

find the cuisine here palatable.

I'm often amazed in my travels...

- Oh, I only want to sell six.

- Six? Is that all?

Oh, well, that's too bad.

Well, I suppose one takes

what one can get in this life, eh?

Would you excuse me?

I have to cash some traveler's checks.

Thank you.

Mrs. Bland, nice to see you.

Please, sit down.

I have your loan application

right here. Let's see.

You and Mr. Bland wish to purchase

a restaurant out in Valencia.

Yes, that's right.

Have you or your husband

ever been in the rest...?

No, but I've been a nutritionist

at General Parker...

...and my husband has been a

wine merchant for several years now.

Well, looking at you, Mrs. Bland,

I have no doubt in my mind...

...that you would be a success

at anything you put your hand to.

Well, thank you very much,

Mr. Leech.

I would relish the possibility

of becoming one of your clientele.

Both my husband and I would really

like you to come to our restaurant.

If we get it.

It was actually more your hospitality

that I was thinking about, Mrs. Bland.

Your enthusiasm is

very encouraging, Mr. Leech.

Thank you, Mrs. Bland.

I'm feeling quite encouraged myself.

- You through with this?

- Yes.

Good, I'll go bury it.

Mr. Peck?

Every weekend I give a party...

...for some of my more

sexually liberated friends.

Many of them are bank customers

like yourself.

Could you come next weekend?

You can bring your husband.

That's nice. But it's getting late,

and I have to get back to the hospital.

So if you would just...

I'd like to help you

in every way I can.

But I have to be sure you'll comply

with the bank's wishes.

Ten thousand dollars

is a great deal of money.

The bank has nothing

to worry about.

It'll get everything

that's coming to it.

It's just the bank wants to see

what it's getting into.

If I could just, sort of, poke around

in your safety deposit box.

Stop it, you pervert!

You're like everybody else!

- Mr. Leech!

- Are you all right, Mr. Leech?

I rejected this woman's loan

on grounds of insufficient credit.

In desperation, she made advances

to me, which I repulsed.

- Liar!

- Get her out of here, Thomas.

Never mind about the police.

She's upset.

Pervert! Hypocrite! Rapist! Psycho!

You swinger, you!

You're letting that woman go?

Gosh, Mr. Leech,

you're such a good man.

Thank you, Miss Adams.

Have I told you about the party

I'm giving this weekend?

- Paul?

- Yeah.

- He didn't buy?

- Buy?

He stole all six bottles.

Did you get the loan?

No. The creep tried to put

the make on me.

People are pigs.

How do they get away with it?

Why should they live so well when

good people like us get shafted?

I don't know. The next person

who puts his hands on me...

...is gonna get shafted right back.

Mary, honey?

- What?

- My back hurts.

- Would you walk on it for me?

- Sure.

- Hi, Doris.

- What are you doing here? Get out!

I didn't blow your cover

at the hospital.

- Mary, who is this guy?

- He's a patient from the hospital.

Nobody? I got money.

You want big bucks? I got them.

I don't mind paying cash for gash

as long as it's class.

- What do you think you're doing?

- You knew I was into rape fantasies.

- Mister, get off her! Are you crazy?

- I told you. I can't wait.

Listen, don't worry about it.

You can have her back

just as soon as I'm finished.

Dynamite!

Charge!

- Paul! Paul!

- I know you're acting.

You'll get so hot, you'll burn a hole

right through the couch.

- Get off me!

- Jesus, you're so...

- Are you all right?

- Goddamn swinger.

- Dead.

- Good.

Paul, there's nearly $500 here.

These swinger-types

always seem to have money.

Well, now it's ours.

You want his watch?

Thanks.

Do you realize that we have made

almost $ 1000 in two days, tax-free?

Just by killing people.

Horrible, sex-crazed maniacs

that nobody in the world would miss.

I wonder how much we could make

if we really put our minds to it.

- What do you mean?

- This city is full of rich perverts.

If somehow we could

get them to come here...

But, Mary, why would they?

We'd have to lure them with...

Sex.

But you wouldn't really have to...?

I mean, you wouldn't actually

do anything?

Of course not.

The minute they try anything dirty...

...you pop them in the head and

get rid of them, like with him.

How would we contact them? We know

nothing about this swinger business.

Ask someone who does.

All of them read this?

- Isn't there something a little more...?

- Classier?

Nope, this paper covers the field

from the richest to the poorest.

If they're kinky, they read

The Hollywood Press.

Come on, honey, you like this.

You know, if you steam

fresh vegetables...

...and puree them in a blender,

it would be better for your baby.

- Mary's a nutritionist.

- No kidding? Does that pay well?

About 450 after taxes.

Honey, you'll make a hell

of a lot more in my racket.

Are you gonna work with her?

Why not? You get the bi

and gay trade that way.

Those people have

a lot of money, believe me.

- I don't think...

- I understand.

Everybody's gotta make up his own

mind about where to draw the line.

Like, I personally draw the line

at golden showers.

Golden showers?

- Did you ever do any acting?

- I did some in high school.

Well, that's all it is, is acting.

Lick my sneakers, you little worm!

See what I mean? It's easy.

Lick my sneaker, you little worm.

See, you're a natural.

That's my laundry.

If I don't get it into the dryer quickly,

it'll wrinkle.

Was there anything else

you want to ask?

- No, I think we covered it.

- Really, there's nothing to it.

Just remember

to get the money up front...

...and whatever they want to do,

stop if it draws blood.

I'll bet we could get started

on this for about $400.

- We have to take out an ad first.

- And I have to rent a post office box.

Paul, we have a ticket!

No, it's just a flier.

Wait, wait. What is it?

Some lock service

that puts in new locks cheap.

Twelve ninety-five.

When Mrs. Berkowitz was robbed...

...it cost her $35

to put new locks in.

Twelve ninety-five isn't a bad price.

"Raoul's Lock and Key Service."

Raoul. Probably just got

in from Guadalajara.

I think it's a good idea.

- What's a good idea?

- Putting in new locks.

We don't want people wandering in

when we're bopping perverts.

Look, Mary, our ad's out.

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