Eddie Page #9

to have you come along, set him down

and put a towel on his head

- But he doesn't want--

- Where's my limo?

Bye, Mama

- I can't believe you called my mother

- Well, what did you expect?

Thank you kindly, Frank

That'll be all

You know, someday, young lady,

I'm gonna get you to eat somethin'

other than mashed potatoes,

corn and meat loaf

Why? I'm a simple girl

I like simple food

- All right, what's in the box?

- It's a present

- For me?

- Yes

- Good I like presents

- I know I'm countin' on it Open it

Now, this key opens the door

to your buildin'

and this key opens the door

to your very own penthouse apartment

as befits a young lady of means

Bill, I cannot afford a penthouse

Oh, yes, you can

on the $1 million plus expenses

you're gonna be earning

over the next three years

[ Chuckles ]

A million dollars

A penthouse

A catch

What is it?

Oh, there's no catch, Eddie

If we make the play-offs,

you're a good part of that victory

It's worth it to me to see that

you go on to better things

- It's worth it to St Louis

to pay you that money

- What do you mean, St Louis?

There are three gentlemen who

are willing to pay me handsomely

for the Knicks if we win

so I negotiated great terms

for you as the coach

I knew you'd be grateful

You can't move the Knicks

Yes, I can

I own them

No You can't

I mean, wait a minute, Bill

[ Laughs ]

You know, you own a lot

of things, Bill, but, but

[ Sighs ]

you don't own the Knicks

New York owns the Knicks

You know, Eddie, I've grown very fond

of you, but you're out of line here

I do own the Knicks and I'll do what

I want with them They belong to me

And you belong to me, little lady,

and you'll go where I tell you to

Oh, no, cowboy

I don't belong to you

I work for you, you pay me,

we talk, but I don't belong to you

What do you care where you coach

as long as you coach?

You'll still have the team,

you still have the fans

Bill, ever since

I was a little kid

Madison Square Garden

and the Knicks

Maybe you don't get this

because you don't have any roots

What does anything

matter to you?

You find something,

you're done with it, you sell it

I mean, you're just

glitter and glamour

Ya cruise in on that horse talkin' about

"howdy" and that's your shtick!

- Why did you buy this team?

- I bought the players for skill

I bought the cheerleaders

for tits and ass

I bought Bailey for experience

and I bought you--

Well, what does it matter?

Oh, no, don't stop now

Why me?

Fun

I bought you for fun, Eddie

You're loud You got a big mouth

You're funny

But you're an amateur, hon

You're all hat and no cattle

As long as you put on

a good show, I'm gonna ride you

just like I ride my horse

And if he can't carry me,

he's gone

And if you can't carry me,

the same thing's gonna happen to you

You know, hon,

like we say back home--

No It's like we say

here at home:

f*** you and the horse

you rode in on

- [ Man ] I got it

- [ Eddie ] Watch where you're goin'

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait a minute! Just go that way

Where were you? Come on and blow the

whistle You supposed to be doin' it!

- Oh, yeah

- [ Man ] You got a man right there!

- Run that

- [ Eddie ] All right,

come back, come back!

[ Eddie ] Pay attention!

Yes! Yes!

- He scores! He scores!

- Yeah! Yeah!

[ Man ] Ho! All right!

Everybody gather around

Here's the deal

The precinct gave us approval

to start the team

[ Cheering ]

All right, they did their job

Now we have to do our job

We have to clean this place up

and make it spotless

- [ Boys Groan ]

- [ Eddie Laughs ]

[ Man ] I want people to say,

"This playground reminds me

of Madison Square Garden "

- [ Boy ] Yeah!

- The Garden is home to the Knicks

This'll be our home

I want everybody to put their hand

on mine and make a promise

that you'll work hard, have pride

in yourselves and your home court

and you'll never

let the team down

- Yeah! Yeah!

- Are we a team?

- Yeah! Yeah!

- Okay, let's hear it

[ Together ] Ho! Ho!

Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Break!

It doesn't get

any better than this

- Aahhhhh

- [ Eddie ] Don't do that!

- Don't do that! [ Laughing ]

- [ Hooting, Yelling ]

[ Marv Albert ] Tonight there's

a showdown in Manhattan

Hi, everybody, I'm Marv Albert

We are moments away

from the Knicks and the Hornets battling

for the final spot in the play-offs

Knicks assistant coach Carl Zimmer

twice passed over by the Knicks

may have his chance

to prove himself tonight

Now, there's been

no official announcement

but Eddie Franklin does not seem

to be here at this crucial game

- [ Players Talking ]

- [ Bailey ] Hey, Zimmer

Where's your coach?

Still in the ladies' room?

I don't know where she is

Well, if she doesn't

show up here pretty quick

you're gonna have an awfully

big pair of shoes to fill,

even if they are high heels

- Let's go, move it

- Well, John, I've been

around a lot of years

- I learned from the best

- Well, thanks, Carl

I appreciate that Really

I wasn't talking about you

Chump All right

Come on, let's go

Come right on in, gentlemen

My humble abode

Not much, but I'm sure you're gonna do

better for me in St Louis, aren't you?

Rebecca, are you there?

I'd like you to give these men

anything they want, Rebecca

You know, gents, like we say back home--

Oh Excuse me a minute

- Yes?

- She's not in the building

No one's seen her

Little lady's got a burr under her

saddle Tell Mr Zimmer to be prepared

Sorry, gents

Must be the New York traffic

But you know Eddie

She's gonna be here

[ P A Announcer ]

At forward, Larry Johnson

[ Crowd Booing, Yelling ]

And the head coach

of the Charlotte Hornets, John Bailey!

[ Loud Booing ]

And now the starting lineup

for your New York Knicks!

[ Cheering ]

- At center, Ivan Radovadovitch!

- [ Man ] Let's go!

At guard, Jamal Duncan!

At guard, "Preacher Man" Taylor!

At forward, Larry Hastings!

And at forward, Nate Wilson!

And the assistant coach

of the New York Knicks, Carl Zimmer

Eddie's here

And the head coach

of the New York Knicks, Eddie Franklin!

Well, Coach Franklin,

you showed up

I'm so happy

You know why?

Because I don't like

beating assistants

Blow me

Mugsy! Hi, baby

- Look at you lookin' so good

- Thank you

I could just eat you up

with a spoon, Mugsy

[ Crowd Chanting ] Eddie! Eddie!

Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!

Coach, I heard a rumor

Don't believe it

Mr Burgess

You were right, as usual

[ Organ:
"Here We Go"]

I know my girl

She wants to win

- Watch the push!

- Hey, three seconds, Ref!

- Post up!

- Nice feed, baby! Nice feed!

- Aaaaaaah!

- Come on, Ivan, take that charge!

- Come on! Get up, baby!

- Ohh!

- [ Eddie ] Ivan!

- [ Crowd Booing ]

Ivan! Pay attention!

Come on, come on,

take care of the ball, baby

- [ Players Continue Chattering ]

- Yeah! Yeah!

[ Duncan Yells ]

What's that sh*t, man?

That's some weak-ass sh*t!

[ Zimmer ] Way to go, young fella!

What you got, baby?

I did that move ten years ago

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