Eddie the Eagle Page #2

But, back in the past,

I would have been in here with you.

Okay.

You have somewhere to sleep tonight?

Okay.

You help me in the bar

and I'll let you stay here.

Really? That would be amazing.

And maybe sometimes

I come and visit you. Would you like that?

Would you like me to visit you?

I probably won't be here that much,

to be honest.

What with all the training

I mentioned and...

Do you have the key for the...?

I'll get it off you later.

- Okay. Good luck.

- Yeah.

Yes!

What a doddle.

Right. I think I'm ready

for that bigger one.

Okay.

I've seen worse injuries but normally

they come from the bigger jumps.

Who's your coach?

I've been giving it a lot of thought

and I'm not sure I need one.

Hey, Bjorn. Good to see you.

Norwegian.

He was a good jumper in his time.

Now he's a coach.

- He's a coach?

- I think so.

With the beard?

- Yes, the one...

- And the blond hair?

Thank you, Petra.

Hello?

Hiya, fellas, I'm Eddie Edwards.

I'm Great Britain. Oh God. Nude.

So, basically I...

I've just started on the 40 meters

and I'm making solid progress.

But wondered

if I could get some advice and tips.

How do you land, exactly?

- You been jumping long?

- Since yesterday afternoon.

I know, I'm already on the 40.

I'm a fast learner.

How old are you?

I'm 22.

In Norway, the time to be starting jumping

is when you are six years old.

- Six years old.

- Yeah.

Or younger.

No. You're a bit too late,

Mr. Britain man.

Yes, okay. Well, there's a lot

to be thinking about there so...

I'm gonna just get to it.

Okay.

Stupid Englishman.

I bet he's dead by the weekend.

No messing about this time. Let's do it.

So, you're the mystery elf

who's been hacking up my slope, huh?

Just you? No pickaxe?

You do realize the time to start jumping

is when you're five or six?

Thanks.

The Norwegians already told me that.

Did they also tell you

you look ridiculous in that gear?

At least I'm wearing a jacket.

This is my jacket, pal.

Maybe you should wear one, too.

- Drinking doesn't agree with me.

- Neither does ski-jumping.

When I want advice on how to

drunkenly plow snow, I'll look you up.

Don't even think about doing the 70 meter.

I don't want to have to clean up your mess

when you break your neck.

Whatever.

What would you know about it, anyway?

Get off my slope.

Bronson Peary.

Interstate youth champion 1968.

Then the Olympic Squad under Warren Sharp.

- The Warren Sharp?

- Yeah. The great American coach.

Peary was his star jumper.

He broke records.

He was really a gifted flyer

with a very special style. But...

he was too crazy, you know?

Now he's crazy in a different way.

- How come I've never heard of him?

- They kicked him out.

What for?

Arrogance. Bad discipline.

Drunkenness. Fornication.

What you probably call

"being a total loser."

Definitely him.

Petra, do you mind if I borrow this?

- Yeah, take it.

- Okay, thanks.

I thought we could have a chat about

me being an Olympic ski-jumper.

You've more chance of being a ballerina

than a jumper.

Good one.

I was just after a few tips, really.

Give up, there's one for free.

Petra told me

you used to jump for America.

Yeah, Petra has a lot of stories.

She gave me this book, actually,

by your old coach Warren Sharp.

Where's my jacket?

For as long as I can remember,

it has been my ambition

to become an Olympian.

What?

Olympics. Britain doesn't have

a ski-jumping team so I was thinking...

Okay. Now I know you're crazy.

I know we didn't get off to

the best of starts...

but you shouldn't be fixing rust-buckets.

You should be coaching.

Classic 1972 Trans-Am.

If I had your pedigree and experience...

Yeah, well you don't. I'm busy.

Okay, I've plateaued.

Without your help,

I don't think I'm gonna get any better.

Really? Then you won't get any better.

Right.

- I'll come back later.

- Don't.

What a lunatic.

Wanna see how it's really done?

Watch this guy. Number 2 in the world.

And he knew what he was doing.

You don't stand a chance.

Hi, Bronson.

You truly are a great Olympian.

Always drink milk when I'm in training.

Calcium. Helps to keep the bones strong.

Right, yeah. What do you think, Petra?

Good-looking boy like this

shouldn't be crashing into mountains.

- He should be crashing into ladies.

- Be nice.

Never been my speciality if I'm honest...

Really? Never would have guessed, man.

You still looking for pointers?

- It's that way back to England.

- Hey, shut it.

Hey, why don't you order another one?

They have no idea, do they?

You're the guy who struck the first

90 meters at Copper Peak,

with no headwind, in 1970 Opening Trials,

and they think you're just some old drunk.

Thanks, I think.

You can learn a lot

from that Warren Sharp's book.

Been doing your homework.

I'll cut to the point.

Gonna be up bright and breezy tomorrow

for some extra training.

No.

So the old drunk

is teaching the English how to jump.

That's fantastic. Is that milk?

I don't drink alcohol so...

I love it. It's good. It's too good.

Too good! Yeah.

There's a new team in town!

Hold this.

Milky Boy and the PistenBully driver!

Hey, don't hurt yourself.

My jumpers do not fight.

But I do.

Sh*t.

Did I win?

Not exactly. But I got your watch.

Come here, I'm gonna show you something.

Okay, this is the Norwegian training camp.

You wanted to get some tips.

Well, here is how not to do it.

Look at all this crap here.

I mean, what is all this?

They wanna turn everyone into robots.

They don't understand

the jumping paradox, man.

This is not just a sport, it's an art.

It's spiritual, man.

You gotta free your mind first.

You gotta just, kinda fly, man.

You wanna just fly.

What is the jumping paradox?

What?

The jumping paradox.

That thing you said a second ago.

Okay. I'm gonna say this once.

- The foundation of any jump is what?

- Take-off.

Very good.

Very good.

The paradox

is simultaneously stretching up...

and leaning into your descent.

It's unnatural because

you actually take-off downwards. Okay?

Your body has gotta lean forward

in order to give you the lift.

Like the wing of a bird.

Come on, man, be the wing of a bird.

That's it.

So, your skis go up, your legs go back.

Your body goes forward and you go down

all while falling at 70 mph.

Up, back, forward.

- What are you doing?

- Just helping.

Up, back, forward, down.

Up, back, forward, down.

- Say it.

- Up, back, forward, down.

Exactly.

Fell in love with this sport.

It started with this little baby.

This little 15 meter little vixen.

You manage to land that because

it's meant to hook you into the sport...

otherwise you wouldn't bother trying.

The 40 meter,

when you stack you get bruised,

which I don't need to explain to you.

Sorry.

The 70 meter...

you break bones

and you're lucky if you can walk again.

The 90 meter. The goddess.

In the Wild West

we'd be measuring you for your coffin

before you even reach the stairs.

Never forget that, kid.

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