Edward Scissorhands

OLD KIM:

Snuggle in, sweetie. It's cold out there.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

Why is it snowing, grandma? Where does it come

from?

OLD KIM:

Oh, that's a long story, sweetheart.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

I want to hear.

OLD KIM:

Oh, not tonight. Go to sleep.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

I'm not sleepy. Tell me, please.

OLD KIM:

Well, all right. Let's see. I guess it would

have to start with scissors.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

Scissors?

OLD KIM:

Well, there are all kinds of scissors. And once

there was even a man who had scissors for

hands.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

A man?

OLD KIM:

Yes.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

Hands, scissors?

OLD KIM:

No, scissorhands. You know the mansion on top

of the mountain?

GRANDDAUGHTER:

It's haunted.

OLD KIM:

Well, a long time ago, an inventor lived in

that mansion. He made many things, I suppose.

He also created a man. He gave him inside, a

heart, a brain, everything. Well, almost

everything. You see, the inventor was very old.

He died before he got to finish the man he

invented. So the man was left by himself,

incomplete and all alone.

GRANDDAUGHTER:

He didn't have a name?

OLD KIM:

Of course, he had a name. His name was Edward.

PEG:

Avon calling.

HELEN:

Weren't you just here?

PEG:

No, not since last season. Today I've come to

show you our exquisite new line of soft colors

in shadows, blushes and lipstick. Everything

you need to accent and highlight your changing

looks.

HELEN:

My changing looks? That's good.

(Helen chuckles)

PEG:

Well, it goes that saying and I also have a

complete selection of your old favorites, those

tried-and-true products we've all come to

depend on year-in and year-out.

HELEN:

Come on, Peg. I never buy anything from you.

You know that?

PEG:

I know. Bye, Helen.

REPAIRMAN:

You know, you didn't have to call me, ma'am.

You could have taken care of this by yourself.

JOYCE:

I could? I don't think so.

REPAIRMAN:

Yeah, you see, it's easy. The food trap's

clogged. That's all. You see this bolt here?

You just unscrew this. OK? And out she pops.

JOYCE:

You know, on TV they say you repairmen are

lonely bunch of people. Housewives get lonely

too. Although you may not realize it since they

haven't made a commercial on the subject.

REPAIRMAN:

And then you just take this and put it back in

here nice and easy. Be careful not to force it,

because it fits in there by itself. And then

you just screw this back on.

(The bell rings.)

JOYCE:

On no! Who could that be? Will you excuse me

for a moment? Now. Don't go anywhere. I'll be

right back. This is fascinating. I wouldn't

want to miss a moment of it.

PEG:

Good morning, Joyce. Avon calling.

JOYCE:

Why! Peg. Have you gone blind? Can't you see

there's a vehicle in my driveway?

PEG:

Oh, yes.

JOYCE:

Well, I'm surprised you don't realize that

means I'm busy.

(Joyce shuts the door with a

bang.)

PEG:

Okay. Now, we should decide on lipsticks. Okay,

dear, what one did you like best? There was the

Winsome Wahini which looked charming on you. Or

the Bahenie Bliss.

A GIRL:

I like them both.

PEG:

Well, great.

A GIRL:

You don't actually think I have any money, do

you?

(Peg gets in her car.)

CHILDREN:

Ding, dong, the Avon lady.

PEG:

It's just not my day.

(Disappointed Peg sees a mansion

through her rearview mirror and

drives to the place. She is

attracted by the beautiful garden

there and enters the mansion.)

PEG:

Oh, my goodness.

PEG:

Oh, it's so beautiful. Hello?

(Birds flying)

Hello? Avon calling, oh my. Hello, I'm Peg

Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative.

Hello. I'm sorry to barge in like this. But you

don't have any reason to be afraid. This is

some huge house, isn't it? Thank goodness for

those aerobics classes.

(Snipping)

PEG:

Hello. Hello. Why are you hiding back there?

You don't have to hide from me. I'm Peg Boggs.

I'm your local Avon representative and I'm as

harmless as cherry pie.

(Peg sees Edward's scissorhands.)

Oh my! I can see that I've disturbed you. How

stupid of me! I'll just be going now.

EDWARD:

Don't go.

PEG:

Oh my! What happened to you?

EDWARD:

I'm not finished.

PEG:

Uh, put those down. Don't come any closer. Just

please... Those are your hands? Those are your

hands. What happened to you? Where are your

parents? Hum... Your mother? Your father?

EDWARD:

He didn't wake up.

PEG:

Are you alone? Do you live up here all by

yourself? What happened to your face? Hum, you

know, I won't hurt you. But at the very least

let me give you a good astringent and this will

help to prevent infection. What's your name?

EDWARD:

Edward.

PEG:

Edward? I think you should just come home with

me.

(Peg takes Edward to her home)

PEG:

Oh!

EDWARD:

I'm-I'm sorry.

PEG:

No, Don't be. You go ahead and look you have

every reason to be excited.

PEG:

Oh! Are you ok?

EDWARD:

Are you ok?

(Ring)

HELEN:

Hello.

MARGIE:

Hi, it's Margie. Listen, I was standing outside

talking to Carol and Peg drove by, she had

somebody in the car.

HELEN:

Did you get a good look?

MARGIE:

No, did she say anything to you, about having

guest?

HELEN:

She didn't say anything. She rang my doorbell

early this morning.

MARGIE:

No, ok, I'll meet you on the corner. Right,

Bye.

(Birds signal)

HELEN:

Oh, damn!

PEG:

Here we go, dear. This is our house. And you

can just go right in and make yourself right at

home. OK? And just, well have something to eat

or drink, whatever you... Here, dear. Here

you... This is the front door here, Here we go,

right in here.

(A woman talks on the phone)

A WOMAN:

Joyce, I just saw this strange guy drop in with

Peg. I didn't get a very good look at him. He

looked kind of pale. Okay, I'll be right there.

Don't do anything without me. Okay? Bye.

JOYCE:

Yes, I'll be right there.

PEG:

Here we are. So, oh, this is the living room

and back here, the bedrooms. You want to see

the pictures? All right. Well, this is my

husband, Bill. He's a bowling champion. Do you

know what bowling is? Bowling? Well, here they

are down at the lake, fishing. I think Kevin

looks a little glum Because they didn't catch

anything that day. And here's my daughter, Kim.

All dressed up the junior prom. She's a senior

now. I can't believe it. She's camping in the

mountains with some friends, but she'll be back

in a few days and you can meet her then. Isn't

she beautiful? That's my family. Now, go on,

dear. I'll show you the rest of the house. Then

you can just freshen up and make yourself at

home. Okay? That's the kitchen over there. You

help yourself to anything you want to eat or

drink. Those are grapes. Back here are the

bedrooms. Let me get you some towels, then I

will see what we can find to wear. You know

what? I think I have some of Bill's old clothes

in here. This is perfect. Here. These should

just fit you.

(The phone rings.)

Oh, no, no. Don't be alarmed. That's just a

phone. Now you can go in Kim's room and put

these on. I'll be right with you.

PEG:

No, no, scissors. That's right. Well, he was

born up there or something. Have you seen him

before? No, I don't think he's been off the

grounds before today. You're kidding. How did

you get together with him? I have to go. I'll

talk to you later Margie, Bye-bye.

(to Edward)

I'm sorry Edward, I didn't... oh, dear. May I

help you with this?

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