Eight Legged Freaks Page #5

Ashley wipes the soap off her face. The spider rides the

washcloth and moves toward her hand. Before it can

strike, Ashley gets her eyes clear and drops the cloth.

The cloth lands on the floor atop the spider. As the

beast stares out from under it, barefoot Ashley steps on

the cloth. Crushing the spider without ever knowing it

was there.

(CONTINUED)

26.

CONTINUED:

Ashley turns her attention to the showerhead. She cranks

the water handles, trying to get the water flowing again.

The handles suddenly pop off. Dozens of tiny spiders

pour from the holes onto the floor. Ashley shrieks in

horror.

Sam bursts into the bathroom and yanks open the shower

door. She drags Ashley out and looks at all the little

spiders.

SAM:

Now what?

Ashley just screams.

INT. HANK AND EMMA’S HOME -DAY

The SCREAM of a SAWZALL. A house in the midst of

remodeling. Sections of wall are exposed. Sheets cover

furniture. HANK (30s) is the Bob Villa-poseur.

A cat sits near an open section of wall. Watching

something intently. The cat charges into the wall after

unseen prey.

EMMA (30s) comes downstairs wearing her bathrobe. She

clutches her ears in pain, screaming for Hank to stop.

He can’t hear. She grabs his shoulder and he STOPS

CUTTING.

EMMA:

Why do you need to do that as six

in the morning!? Do you hate me

that much!?

HANK:

I want to finish before I go to

work.

EMMA:

You’ve been saying that for six

months!

HANK:

I can’t finish if you keep

interrupting!

Hanks RESTARTS the SAW as Emma staggers into the kitchen.

27.

INT. REMODELED HOUSE -KITCHEN -DAY

Emma makes herself a hangover helper. Egg, tabasco,

lemon juice, and a shot of vodka. All of it goes into

the BLENDER. She FIRES it UP. Competing with the noise

of Hank’s SAW. Then Emma notices a bowl of uneaten cat

food.

INT. REMODELED HOUSE -LIVING ROOM -DAY

Emma comes back in and UNPLUGS the noisy SAW.

HANK:

If you’re gonna keep pulling the

plug...

EMMA:

Have you seen Zeke this morning?

HANK:

He was chasing something earlier.

EMMA:

If he got into the wall again,

it’s your balls in the blender.

They hear FAINT MEOWING. Hank traces the source. It’s

coming from behind a partially-dismantled wall.

HANK:

Hey, Zeke. Breakfast is ready.

EMMA:

I’ll get the tuna.

Emma heads back into the kitchen. Hank listens at the

wall. After a beat he hears the CAT RUSTLING around

inside.

HANK:

Zeke?

Emma re-enters with a can of tuna. She hears ZEKE HISS.

EMMA:

What’s wrong with him?

Hank shakes his head. The CAT noises become more

aggressive. The panicked couple tries to follow the

cat’s progress. They tracks the sounds of BATTLE along

the wall. The noises become FRANTIC. SCRABBLING CLAWS.

HOWLS of KITTY pain.

HANK & EMMA

Zeke!? Zeke! Zeke!

(CONTINUED)

28.

CONTINUED:

They follow the cat’s frenzied movement up the wall,

across the ceiling, and down the other wall. Hank

hurries over. He can feel his cat thrashing maniacally

on the other side. A FELINE SCREAM. And then deafening

silence.

Hank tears open the drywall, reaching for his cat.

HANK:

I’ve got him by the tail.

He withdraws all that remains of the Zeker... a bloody

tail.

EXT. MALL -DAY

Mike hops off his bike before it stops moving. Letting

it crash in the dirt. He enters the mall through glass

doors.

INT. MALL (PROSPERITY) -DAY

Mike passes NORMAN (18), a janitor polishing the floors.

Norman listens to LOUD DEATH ROCK TUNES on a Sony

WALKMAN.

NORMAN:

(conspiratorial)

Hey, dude. Yeah. You.

Mike comes over to this goatee’d rascal.

NORMAN:

Wanna buy some smoke?

MIKE:

A pack of cigarettes?

NORMAN:

Smoke to get high, not to die. My

stuff is hydroponically grown in a

top secret location. No

artificial flavors. No

preservatives. Just 110 percent

homegrown.

MIKE:

Where’s this secret location?

(CONTINUED)

29.

CONTINUED:

NORMAN:

I could have a dime bag for you

toot sweet. But if I tell you

where exactly, I’d have to kill

you.

MIKE:

Norman, you know my mom’s the

sheriff.

NORMAN:

Oh yeah... Right on...

(considers this)

Does she get high?

Mike walks away, deeper into the mall. A dozen stores

line the hallway: Victoria’s Secret, Electronic

Boutique, Sport Chalet. Most of the stores are closed

for good. A large atrium features a fountain and jungle

gym. Skylights cover the ceiling. Mike enters the Home

and Garden store.

INT. HOME AND GARDEN STORE -DAY

Mike goes up to the counter. The CLERK snaps at him.

CLERK:

The bug spray is on aisle five!

MIKE:

What?

CLERK:

You want mousetraps!? Is that

it?! Aisle five!

Mike grabs some batteries and lays them on the counter.

CLERK:

Oh. I thought you wanted...

An OLD LADY walks past.

OLD LADY:

Excuse me, young man. Where can I

find the bug spray?

CLERK:

Aisle five!

The Clerk grabs the PA’s microphone.

(CONTINUED)

30.

CONTINUED:

CLERK:

(over PA speakers)

All bug spray, rodent traps, ant

poison and fly paper is on aisle

five!

He returns his attention to Mike.

CLERK:

That’ll be three fifty-two.

Mike pays the man.

MIKE:

Where’s aisle five?

The annoyed Clerk points. Mike heads over. He sees the

aisle is crowded with locals squabbling over the few

remaining cans of Raid, Black Flag and Off.

EXT. BEVERLY’S HOUSE (TOWN) -DAY

Beverly uncoils a hose, cranks a spigot. She sprays her

vegetable garden with water. After a beat, a solid

object is coughed up through the hose.

Beverly continues watering. Two more unidentified

objects are spewed from the hose. She reacts by cranking

the spigot on full. The water sprays harder. Then

inexplicably stops.

Beverly checks the spigot. She looks into the opening of

the hose. Puts it to her ear and listens. Sniffs. Now

she puts the end of the hose in her mouth and sucks

deeply, trying to siphon away the blockage.

Beverly removes the hose. A FAINT RUMBLING sound. She

puts it back in her mouth and sucks. A solid object

comes through the hose and into her mouth. Then another.

And another. A dozen things pump through the hose and

into her mouth.

Beverly yanks it out. Water spews from her mouth and out

of the hose. Apparently the blockage has cleared.

Beverly falls to her knees. Hunching forward. She

vomits forth a stomach full of water... and small

spiders. Mouth agape. Eyes wide in horror. She watches

them scurry into the garden. Beverly tries to scream...

but can only retch.

31.

EXT. STREET (TOWN) -DAY

Mike Palmer rides his bike through a puddle of water. He

sees Beverly throwing up in her vegetable garden. Mike

it thoroughly grossed out.

EXT. JOSHUA’S HOUSE (DESERT) -DAY

Mike rides his bike into Joshua’s front yard.

dismounts before the BIKE stops. It CRASHES.

inside.

He

Mike heads

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