El Director Vision: Surviving the Wild Page #2

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- It's a little bit creepy,

isn't it?

Just having to watch us

while we eat.

Maybe we can put him right here.

- Spent his whole life outside,

and now you just want

to box him inside?

- He's staying here,

and that's final.

- She's just being stubborn.

That's the way

she's always been.

- You know, you're really

stubborn, Mom.

- Yup. I am really stubborn.

And guess where I got it from.

My father.

- I used to be stubborn,

but now I'm perfect.

- I think I just find it

comforting to have him so close.

- Aw.

- You said it was creepy.

- Yeah, she did say that.

- Dad wanted to take me to one

of his conventions over break,

and we'd have to leave tomorrow.

So I said that I'd

talk to you about it.

- Oh, that's a lie.

That's a terrible lie.

- Okay. I mean,

that's probably good.

You need to spend some

quality time with your dad.

- That's exactly

what I was thinking.

- What's up your sleeve, boy?

- So, are you okay

with everything...

you know, that happened

with Gus?

- Yeah. Everybody dies

eventually, right?

I'm actually kind of worried

about Riley right now,

so you think it's cool

if I go over there tomorrow

and just kind of hang out

with him?

Dad will pick me up from there,

so I'll be all right.

- Okay, fine.

I can drop you off

in the morning before work.

- Thanks, Mom.

- You think you're pretty

clever, don't you?

- You got cojones.

- Shaun?

Is everything all right?

- Yeah, Mom.

I'm just getting water.

- Okay, honey,

just be careful in there.

- Whew.

You're not going to put me

in that thing, are you?

- That's all I've got.

- I was a Louisville Cardinal.

- I know.

- Your mother went to Kentucky

to spite me.

Your mother's very beautiful,

don't you think?

Too light.

The minute she picks it up,

she's going to know.

Your mom and dad

were drawn to each other.

I wonder what happened.

Was it me?

Did I do something to spoil it?

I suppose I didn't help

sometimes.

That's better.

- Sorry for spilling

your ashes, gramps.

- What's wrong with you?

- You're, like,

the prettiest mom I know.

- Oh, really pretty?

Oh, thank you, honey.

I don't even have a stitch

of makeup on today.

- You don't need makeup.

- What did I do to deserve

all of these compliments

this morning?

- Dad's a fool

for letting you go.

- Honey, Dad didn't just

let me go.

You know that, right?

- Then whose fault was it?

- It's nobody's fault.

These things happen

all the time.

I mean, you think about how many

parents you know of your friends

that are divorced.

Your dad's a great guy.

He's a good man.

I had to go back to school,

and your dad was...

he was gone a lot for work,

and... we just drifted.

- If you were drifting,

then why did you argue so much?

- Because sometimes it's easier

to be enemies

than anything in between.

- That's so dumb.

- It is dumb.

Adults are dumb sometimes.

Your father and I

have made our minds up.

We've thought about it.

And it's the best decision

for everyone.

But that does not change

how we feel about you.

I love you,

your father loves you.

We're not going anywhere.

You got to remember that, okay?

You're stuck with us.

- I'm trying to figure out why

my parents are getting divorced.

- We're getting divorced

because we are not meant

to be together anymore.

Now, we're going to Gus's house,

and your dad's going

to pick you up.

And you are going to have a fun

time with your father...

- Do you love him?

Do you even love him?

Have you ever loved him?

- I think a part of me

will always love your father.

What are you doing

with this thing?

This is my old Kentucky thermos.

I used to hide beer in this.

Whoa. What do you got in there?

It's pretty heavy.

- I just kind of liked it, Mom.

- Maybe when you're older,

you can go to Kentucky and

carry on the family tradition.

- Family tradition?

Grandpa Gus went to Louisville.

- I know Gus went to Louisville.

But your father and I

went to Kentucky,

and your father's entire side

of his family went to Kentucky,

and we're all Wildcats.

- You went there just to spite

grandpa, didn't you?

- I went to Kentucky because

I was dating your father,

and I didn't go

just to spite Gus.

I got a scholarship...

which didn't make Gus too happy.

Can you please text me

when your dad picks you up?

And promise me you'll have

a good time, okay?

- Yeah.

- Love you.

- Love you, Mom.

- Go give Riley a hug for me.

- I love you.

- Love you.

- Love you more.

- Okay, there's the rope.

Get that.

- Tent.

- Okay.

Flares.

You're going to need flares.

Get the flares.

What have I taught you?

- Always prepare.

- Well, I didn't say it

like that, did I?

- It's something with a bunch

of P's, I don't really remember.

- Perfectly proper preparation

is paramount.

- That's it.

Perfectly proper

preparation is paramount.

Or is it Paul's pecker

is precisely proportionate?

I get those mixed up.

Shut up, grandpa.

What?

Paul is a bird in this scenario,

and his pecker... you never heard

of a woodpecker?

- Oh, I've heard of it.

- Heard what?

Sorry to scare you.

I'm here to walk Riley.

- Oh, right.

We're actually going on vacation

for, like, a week or so.

And we're taking Riley with us,

so we'll call you

when we get back.

- Oh, right on.

I think it's great

that you talk to him.

- Talk to who?

- The dog.

I think it's healthy.

A lot of people

don't talk to their pets.

- Yeah, of course.

The dog.

That's definitely important.

- Right.

Right on.

- Right on.

- It's healthy to talk to a dog,

but talking to your dead grandpa

makes you a whackadoodle.

- Maybe I am a whackadoodle,

gramps.

- Yeah, maybe you are.

And speaking of whackadoodles,

how are you going

to get out there?

- How do you think?

The Beast.

The Beast? No way, no way.

- You can't... you can't take that

thing out there by yourself,

- Come on, Riley!

Come on, boy.

Come on, Riley.

The Beast, baby.

Come on, Riles.

- I know I encourage you

to be your own man and all that,

but maybe this is taking things

a little too far.

- You taught me

how to drive this thing.

- Yeah, in some dusty

back roads where you couldn't...

hit anything.

- Trust me, grandpa.

Everything is going to be fine.

- Okay, get over.

- Sorry.

- Watch it.

Left, left, left.

What are you trying to do,

kill me?

- You're already dead.

- Thank God.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Whoo-hoo!

- Whoa. Sorry, gramps.

- Keep your eyes on the road,

as they say.

- Sorry. Sorry.

- Uh-oh.

- What?

- There's a smoky behind us

with his disco lights on.

- What does that mean?

- Cops.

- What do I do?

- Just be very nice,

and don't tell them about me.

I think we dodged a bullet.

- Easy, easy, easy.

What are we doing?

Why'd you pull over?

- What are we doing?

- Shh, shh.

- Hey, Dad.

- Hey, buddy.

I may be a little bit late

picking you up this week.

- Is that cool?

- Yeah.

Mom and I were actually

going to take a little trip.

Like a little vacation.

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