Electric Apricot Page #4

but I'd have my flashlight

and I'd spot it

on the guy's face.

One of those big mag lights,

like the cops use.

Bam, right in your face,

stop the song and say, Okay!

Stop! And I'd say,

Okay, sing... sing the parts

that everyone else

was just playing.

Dush! Okay!

Sing what the next guy was

doing over there, just randomly.

And you had to go...

Bada doo da doo doo da

or whatever the keyboards

were doing,

or somebody had to do

my drum parts.

My drum parts

are very intricate,

they're very difficult.

To have a bright light

flashed in your face

in the middle of a dark room

while you are meditating

on our mistress music

is a scary

and psychologically

scarring experience.

I just started wearing

sunglasses in rehearsal

and it didn't

make it as bad,

but there you go.

Seriously, I don't understand

why anybody would come see

that piece of sh*t band.

I mean, I respect music.

I love music, actually.

I like to get down,

but, dude, that sh*t

doesn't make any sense to me.

I just-

I don't (bleep) get it.

Probably one of the worst

bands I've ever seen.

I've seen them come,

I've seen them go,

and, honestly,

they take the cake.

They're seriously so

(bleep) bad I got pissed off.

I can't handle bad music.

It's like you guys

should change

the name of your band

to Day Job.

I hate the Grateful Dead.

I (bleep) hate that band.

Honestly, my parents

listen to that (bleep) music

over and over and over again,

and my mom did that dance thing

where they do the dance.

At about age eight,

I started realizing

that that guy, Jerry Garcia,

(bleep) sucks, dude.

And my parents

are (bleep) stoned.

Jerry Garcia

is a (bleep) plague, dude.

All those (bleep)

burrito-making,

hip-turning hippies

that listen to him,

and (bleep) tool around

and don't get jobs

and don't do anything,

they can (bleep) go to hell.

The band (bleep) sucks

and they died when he died,

and I'm glad it's over, dude.

I'm glad it's (bleep) over.

You know that

bartender downstairs?

Yeah, I didn't

like his vibe.

Dude, that guy was talking

hella sh*t about us.

Started talking about us,

then he started talking about,

um, Jerry, and h's like,

I'm glad that guy died.

What?

I was like, What?

He's all, I'm glad he died.

F*** him.

I'm like, Whoa.

Hold on.

He said,

I'm glad that guy died?

He said,

I'm glad Jerry died.

All right.

I'm gonna beat him.

What the f***, dude?

Yeah, this is

a good thing, man.

Don brought this cat around,

Drew Shackleford.

Who am I?

Who's Drew Shackelford?

A lover of beauty,

a singer of songs.

That's what I'm about.

I'm about spreading love,

you know?

I've got it,

I've got the knowledge.

I'm like a Renaissance Man.

He loves the band,

he's into it.

He's got a big fat pad

up in the-

up in the hills,

and, uh...

So far he seems like a

really cool guy, you know?

He's got some money.

I don't know where

he gets his money,

I'm not asking any questions.

He's kinda going

to finance our record.

We're going to do a record,

going to put out this record.

I'm stoked, man.

He's like our Owsley,

you know?

I was just there to say,

you know what, brothers?

You're going down

the right road, you know?

Let me help you.

You've got the wheel,

you're driving the vehicle,

just let me be the gas.

I want to help you succeed,

I want to give back

because I see you in me

and you see me in you.

He's not a stuck-up guy,

you know?

He doesn't hang out

in the Polo Lounge,

or drink cocktails

with umbrellas

sticking out of them

or any of that stuff.

The kind of stuff

that I do

I think really

connects with people.

It's the simple stuff,

but man, the vibe

that people get off it

is pretty heavy.

That's what people

have told me, anyway.

I'm confident that

we are going to bring

a beautiful child into

the world:
this new album.

When undertaking a recording

in a professional environment,

a good deal of skillful and

tenacious preparation is involved.

The key to it all...

People are always trying

to get really good snare sounds,

and I think the most important

element to me is the kick drum.

The kick drum...

it's really the meat.

I think the snare

is more the potatoes.

You got your meat and your

potatoes with your snare.

And maybe the high hat

is more like the asparagus.

Today I expect it's going

to take a little bit longer

because I really want

to get it right

because you only make

your first record once,

you know what I'm saying?

You only make

your first record once.

Let me know if that bubble goes

too far out to the left there.

It's usually

worth waiting for.

I've never had anyone's set

take this long to set up.

I mean, he only

has four drums.

As far as studio stuff,

I'm probably quite a bit

more experienced

than the other guys.

You know

the Geinserle Diamonds.

I don't know if you

remember that jingle.

They called me in

and I played on that.

I played...

It was like

a glockenspiel,

but it wasn't really

a glockenspiel,

but it was this

little bell tree thing

and I played on that.

How're we doing?

Uh, Lapdog's

still setting up.

He's still setting up, huh?

I view golf

as a spiritual journey

and I am a warrior

armed with a weapon.

This club and these shoes

were given to me

by the High Priest

of the Borborandon temple

on the Maldive Islands.

I envision

that all the evil

and all the suffering

in the world

is encapsulated

in that ball,

and it is my responsibility

as a spiritual warrior

to drive it as far away

from this planet as possible.

Dammit!

That was wet.

Ploink.

I feel all sorts of anger

bubbling up inside of me,

but I'm not going

to let it out here.

That's not bad.

Look at that!

hoo hoo!

Look at that!

I'm on the dance floor!

Noonan! Noonan!

That's from like that movie.

Whoa!

Look at that!

I need to burn

some sage out here.

Maybe I should go back

to our car and get some.

Yeah, I don't know

about that.

Heh hah hah.

I know that Lapdog

had a good day out there

and I'm genuinely

happy for him.

I'm happy he had

a good time.

And deep down, somewhere,

I had a good time, too.

l...

I know I got a bit upset.

Well, yeah, Lapdog talking

a lot while I was putting

and saying things

in the middle of my backswing,

that didn't help.

Noonan, Noonan, Noonan.

Ah.

Ugh.

Sorry.

That's from that

Caddyshack movie again.

Once this record

goes platinum or gold

or whatever

it's going to do,

then I might just

redevelop my whole set

because I'm sure there'll

be some drum companies

that will want to give me

some equipment.

Then I can just do

what I want,

and l... believe me,

I have some ideas.

The reason I use pictures

is that there's been studies

that have shown

that what you see

affects how you hear.

This picture here

is a picture

of a classic

Jungian archetype.

An archetype is a particular

pattern of energy that you find

throughout the cosmos.

This character here

is a shamanic character

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