Elephant Page #3

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when I sang Star-Spangled Banner...

everyone thought it was really good.

That's why I'm really confused

that you would say something like that.

Seriously, I mean, why?

Why do you think I'm such a bad singer?

Do you guys have cars?

Because I don't think you do.

So, how else are you

going to get anywhere?

We'll go, just drive 15 under the speed limit.

You have to have your hands at ten and two.

- That's no fun.

- Go back to the basic rules.

When you guys get your licenses,

you'll understand.

We'll understand?

I just want to live to get my license.

- We want to live to see the rest of our lives.

- I'm not gonna kill you.

It'll be in the newspaper...

I might run into a couple of people

on the way, but...

It's not funny.

Oh, my gosh. It'll be fine. We'll just go.

- This is disgusting.

- I ate too much.

I always feel so fat after I'm done eating.

- Every time.

- Do you ever get...

- The pudge there?

- Where it sticks out above your belt?

And you can't get rid of it, no matter what.

So gross.

That's awesome.

What's up?

You suck.

- See you tonight, dear.

- Yeah.

You know, Jared's got the pole this week

and the track record.

What's that smell?

That's just your mom.

You could find other places to eat.

I'm sure there's better restaurants in town.

No, you're the best.

- Want more of these?

- No thanks.

All right, lock the door.

The radio has wholly taken over.

Many of the cinema's...

- What was that?

- I don't know.

All scripts must now be vetted.

The casting of actors must be approved.

From now on...

the German people will only know

what their Fuhrer wants them to know.

Propaganda brought us into power.

That's a lot of flags.

- This was made in Germany, right?

- Yeah.

Propaganda will enable us

to conquer the world.

In his early Munich days,

Hitler had taken an old Hindu symbol...

the hooked cross, the Swastika,

as the Nazi symbol.

Now he multiplies it a million times.

From the Romans, he steals the standards...

- Can you still buy Nazi flags?

- Sure, if you're a nut.

From Mussolini, he steals the Fascist salute.

Check it out.

Fuhrer, command, we follow you.

The Fuhrer is always right.

Who's that guy?

- That's Hitler, right?

- Yeah.

...who fears the intellect

and hates all intellectuals.

So into the flames are flung the works

not only of German philosophers...

scientists, doctors, poets,

playwrights, novelists...

but those of all the world.

Students as well as storm troopers

obey the Fuhrer's orders.

Any culture except Nazi Kultur

must be destroyed.

Hey, how you doing?

You guys must be out of school today.

- Yeah.

- Good for you.

I'll have you sign for me here.

That's great. Thank you very much.

Sweet. It's here.

At a vast meeting in Berlin...

Mussolini thanks Germany for her help

in his brutal Abyssinian War.

And the Fuhrer replies. ;

- Oh, yeah, dude.

- This is so awesome.

"Peace," did Hitler say?

Let's check this sh*t out, man.

- Hell, yeah, dude.

- Sweet.

Back up.

Whoa, dude, that was awesome.

Hey, Eli!

- What's up, John?

- How's it going?

- Pretty good. And you?

- Good.

- What are you doing?

- Just taking pictures.

Can I take a picture of you?

- Nice.

- I'll see you later.

- You going to the concert tonight?

- No, my parents are being b*tches.

- All right.

- See you.

Hi, Michelle. Glad you could make it.

Please come in and sign in here,

then come out.

There are a few things

we can work on together.

First, if you want to just take this

cart of books...

and you can reshelf it over there

in the non-fiction.

I'll be right here to help you if you need me.

I guess this is it. We're gonna die today.

Yeah, I've never even kissed anybody.

Have you?

"I don't appreciate you

putting signs out like that."

The next day, he called up his friend

and has him put out another sign.

And she doesn't see it.

And so he puts out another one.

Like, right in front of her house,

in front of her apartment thing.

It says:

"Tim Campbell's whorehouse

has been shut down."

Or "Has been placed under new ownership

by" whatever her name was.

He couldn't cut it anymore.

All right, let's see this.

So, we'll park here, right?

We'll enter through the south entrance.

Then we go past the trophy case and the

medal case, enter through the language lab.

They don't use it anymore,

so nobody'll be there.

We'll gear up there,

we'll hear the primary explosions...

go about here in the cafeteria, right?

When that goes, we should be able

to pick off kids...

as we traverse the east wing.

And then we have another explosion

that should go off here in the gym...

and here in the auditorium.

At that time, there should be

kids flushing out in all directions...

and we'll be able to pick them off,

one by one.

After that, you'll hit your yellow line here,

which is your plan B.

And you'll go up through Mr. Luce's office

and take care of that.

F***!

While I go, on the red line,

up through this hallway...

where we'll have the best targets,

dumb-ass jocks and sh*t.

Because we'll have a f***ing

field day down there.

I mean, come on.

You've got your Tec-9 and your rifle...

and I've got my shotty and my.223

on my back.

And I got a couple pistols and a knife.

We have enough explosives to last us

almost a day.

- Most importantly, have fun, man.

- Yeah, man.

What are you guys doing?

Get the f*** out and don't come back.

Some heavy sh*t's going down.

Hey, don't go in there.

Hey, you guys, don't go in there.

Something bad is gonna happen.

Don't go in there, okay?

Dude, what the f***?

Don't worry about it, it's probably just slow.

Let's go to plan B.

- Are you sure you set it right?

- Positive.

Sir, don't go in there! Trust me!

Just don't go in there, please. Don't go in!

Dad!

Hey, you guys...

What was that?

- Sounded like bombs. That's fine.

- No more homework, no teachers.

- That'd be so cool.

- That'd be nice.

- Hi.

- What's wrong?

What the hell is wrong with you?

Okay, then be a b*tch.

What a freak.

I think maybe everyone could bring...

Well, I don't drink soda,

but some people do...

What was that?

Firecracker. Don't worry about it.

It'll be okay.

Come on, sit down. Let's finish this.

Okay now, we talked about

what we're gonna do...

Nate? Come on, get up, Nate.

Here we go, let's go.

Come on, let's go, now!

It sounds clear. Go!

Down the hallway to the band room exit!

Hey, Mr. Luce.

Why are you doing this?

Eric, put the gun down.

I ain't putting sh*t down!

Put the gun down, we'll talk about this.

Shut up!

Dad!

The school's on fire.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, what's going on?

I saw two guys come in the other side.

Holy cow!

They had big black bags

and camo gear on.

My God.

- Where did you go?

- I just...

I'm sorry.

Yeah, you did, and I should shoot you

right now for it, you know I should.

But I think I just might let you live,

maybe, because I want you to know this...

and the next kids that come up to you

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