Elf

Synopsis: Buddy (Will Ferrell) was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler and raised to adulthood among Santa's elves. Unable to shake the feeling that he doesn't fit in, the adult Buddy travels to New York, in full elf uniform, in search of his real father. As it happens, this is Walter Hobbs (James Caan), a cynical businessman. After a DNA test proves this, Walter reluctantly attempts to start a relationship with the childlike Buddy with increasingly chaotic results.
Production: New Line Cinema
  2 wins & 7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
84%
PG
Year:
2003
97 min
$173,400,000
Website
16,008 Views


Oh, hello.

You're, uh, you're probably here

About the, Uh, the story.

Elves love to tell stories.

I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves.

There's, uh, probably a lot of things

You... you didn't know about elves.

Another... another interesting Uh, elf ism

Uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf.

The first is making shoes at night

While, you know, while the old...

The old cobbler sleeps.

Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog.

You can bake cookies

In a tree. Hey!

As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous Having an oven

In an oak tree during the dry season.

[Screaming] I wanna make shoes!

But the third job... uh, some call It, uh,

"The show," or... or "the big dance,"

It's the profession that every elf Aspires to,

And that is to build toys in Santa's workshop.

Only two weeks left till Christmas!

I-It's a job only an elf can do.

Our... our nimble fingers,

Natural cheer and active minds

Are perfect for toy-building.

They... they tried using gnomes And trolls,

But the gnomes drank too much...

...and the trolls weren't toilet trained.

No human being has ever set... set foot in Santa's workshop.

Uh, that is until about 30 years ago,

And, as you may have guessed,

That's where our story begins.

Elf.

Wow!

Whoa!

Ooh!

Wow!

Wow!

[Humming]

Ow! Ow!

Whoa!

Are you sleepy?

Here we are.

We're just going to make you feel so comfortable.

Here we are.

There you are.

It's time to go to sleep.

Maybe by next Christmas you'll Have a home.

Merry Christmas, my angel.

[Creaking]

[Santa:
] Mmm...

[Bars clang]

[Cheering music playing]

All right, all right.

We've had another very successful year.

[Cheering]

So, after all that hard work,

It's time to start preparations

For next Christmas!

[Cheering]

What in the name of Sam hill Is that?

[Elves:
] Wow...

[Male elf:
] A baby...

[Elf:
] "little buddy diapers."

His name is buddy. He must've...

Snuck into your sack at the orphanage.

What do we do?

[Papa Elf:
] So, Santa had a Decision to make,

And fortunately, when it Comes to babies,

Santa's a... a pushover.

So, buddy stayed with, uh An older elf

Who had always wanted a child?

But had been so committed to Building toys, he...

He, well, had forgotten to Settle down.

Santa.

Yes, yes, I... I raised buddy.

I was his adopted father.

Though buddy grew twice as fast,

He... he wasn't any different from the other children.

Chuckles not too fast, buddy.

I mean, not... not really.

Before we learn how to build The latest

In extreme graphic chipset Processors,

Let's recite the "Code of the elves,"

Shall we?

Number one.

"Treat every day like Christmas."

Number two.

"There's room for everyone on the Nice list."

Number three.

"The best way to spread Christmas Cheer

Is singing loud for all to hear."

And one day, when buddy was old enough,

I made him my own personal apprentice.

I've never been in this room before.

Well, I think it's time you start

Your tinker training.

[Gasps] Santa's sleigh.

You're gonna help me make it fly.

I thought the magical reindeer made The sleighs fly.

And where do the reindeer get their magic from?

Christmas spirit. Everybody knows that.

Well, silly as it sounds,

A lot of people down south

Don't believe in Santa Claus.

What?!

Well, who do they think puts all? their toys under the tree?

Well, there's a rumor floating around

That, uh, that the parents do it.

That's... that's ridiculous.

I mean, parents couldn't do that all in one night.

What about Santa's cookies?

I suppose parents eat them, too?

Yeah, I, uh, I... I know,

Uh, and every earless and less People

Believe in Santa Claus.

I mean, we have a real energy crisis on our hands.

Oh.

I mean, just see how low the, uh Claus meter is.

That's shocking.

That's why I came up

With this little beauty in the '60s.

[Engine hums to life]

WH-what is it?

It's a cringle 3000...

A 500-reindeer power jet turbine engine.

Without it, the sleigh couldn't

Get more than, uh, a few feet off the ground.

Well, it looks like we got

A short in the thermo coupler.

You wanna give mea hand with that?

You want me to help?

As much as, uh, buddy was accepted

By his family and friends,

There were a few drawbacks

To being, uh, a human in, uh an elf's world.

[Music plays chattering]

Hey, Ming Ming.

Um...

I'm gonna be a little bit short on today's quota.

It's all right, buddy.

Just how many etch-a-sketches

Did you get finished?

Come on, buddy. How many?

I made, uh... 85.

Eighty-five?

That puts you...

915 off the pace.

[Female elf:
] Ooh... that's bad.

Why don't you just say it?

I'm the worst toy maker in the world.

I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

[Gasps]

No, buddy, you're not cotton- headed ninny-muggins.

We all just have different talents That's all.

Seems like everyone else

Have the same talents except for me.

You... you have, you have lots of Talents, uh...

Special talents in fact, like Um, uh...

Special talents?

You changed the batteries in the smoke detector.

You sure did... aaa's.

And in six months, you'll have to check 'em again...

Won't he?

And you're the only baritone in the elf choir.

You bring us down whole octave.

In a good way.

See, buddy?

You're not a cotton-headed ninny- muggings.

You're just... special.

And so, buddy was sent where the... The special elves work.

[Devilish laughter] Aah!

[Pop goes the weasel playing]

[Laughter] Ah!

[Sighs]

[Pop goes the weasel playing]

[Laughter]

Hey, foom foom...

I hate to do this to you, but you Think you could

Help me pick up the slack on those etch-a-sketches?

No problem. I appreciate it.

Buddy is killing me.

I already got lum lum and choochoo pulling' doubles.

That was quick thinking yesterday

With that ¡°special talents¡± thing.

Ming Ming:
I feel bad for the guy.

I just hope he doesn't get wise.

Well, if he hasn't figured out He's a human by now,

I don't think he ever will.

[Foom foom:
] If he hasn't figured Out he's a human

By now, I don't think he ever will.

I think they're too small.

[Ming Ming:
] You're just... special.

[Snores]

[Buddy sings deeply]

[Sneakers screech]

[Devilish laughter]

You don't look so good, buddy.

Are you okay?

I'll be okay, I just need a glass of water.

Aah!

Buddy...

Unh! Aah!

[Knock on door]

Buddy, are you okay?

I'm sorry, papa.

I just need some alone time.

Buddy, I... I think we... we have to talk.

Buddy, uh, I think there's something

I... I probably should tell you.

You probably should have found out a long...

A long time ago.

I then proceeded to tell buddy of how his father

Had fallen in love when he was very young

With a beautiful girl named Susan wells,

And how buddy was born

And put up for adoption by his mother,

And how she had later passed away.

I... I told him his father

Had never even known that Buddy was born,

And most importantly,

I told him where his father was...

Uh, in a magical land called new York City.

Rate this script:4.1 / 21 votes

David Berenbaum

David Berenbaum is an American screenwriter whose credits include the films Elf, The Haunted Mansion, Zoom, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and Strange Magic. more…

All David Berenbaum scripts | David Berenbaum Scripts

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