Elf Page #2

Synopsis: Buddy (Will Ferrell) was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler and raised to adulthood among Santa's elves. Unable to shake the feeling that he doesn't fit in, the adult Buddy travels to New York, in full elf uniform, in search of his real father. As it happens, this is Walter Hobbs (James Caan), a cynical businessman. After a DNA test proves this, Walter reluctantly attempts to start a relationship with the childlike Buddy with increasingly chaotic results.
Production: New Line Cinema
  2 wins & 7 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.9
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
84%
PG
Year:
2003
97 min
$173,400,000
Website
15,147 Views


My dad works there?

Empire state building.

Hey, buddy, wanna pick some snow berries?

Not now, arctic puffin.

Hello, buddy. Oh... hi, Leon.

Why the long face, partner?

It seems I'm... I'm not an elf.

'Course you're not. You're 6'3"

And had a beard since you were 15.

Papa says my real father

Lives in a magical place far away.

I don't know what to do.

At least you have a daddy.

I was just rolled up one day and left out here in the cold.

But the thing is, I've never even left the North Pole.

Buddy, I've been around the world Many times

When I was a young cumulus nimbus cloud.

It's a wonderful place, filled with Wondrous creatures...

Except dogs.

Oh, by the way, don't eat the yellow snow.

Oh, I know that.

All I'm say in' is, this might be The golden opportunity

To find out whom you really are.

So, I hear you're going

On a little journey to the big city.

Yup. Ahh.

I'm kind a nervous.

[Chuckles]

Leon says New York is pretty different.

Oh, don't pay attention to Leon.

He's never been anywhere. He doesn't have any feet.

I've been to New York thousands of times.

Really? Mm-hmm.

What's it like?

Well, there are some things you should know.

First off, you see gum on The street,

Leave it there. It's not free candy.

Oh. Second,

There are, like, 30 ray's pizzas.

They all claim to be the Original,

But the real one' son 11th.

And if you see a sign that Says "peep show,"

That doesn't mean that They're letting you

Look at presents before Christmas.

Can't wait to see my dad...

We're gonna go ices skating and... And eat sugar plums.

Yeah, that's the other thing

I wanted to talk to you about.

You know, buddy... [sighs]

Your father...

Well... he's on the naughty list.

No!!!

You're taking the books back?

[Chuckles]

See, I... I see what you're trying to do here.

Y-You're trying to make me feel bad,

When, in actuality, you're the one

That missed the payments.

But the children love the books.

I know that, uh...

You know, I'm the one that ran The focus groups,

But I like hearing that.

Listen, some people, they just Lose sight

Of what's important in life.

That doesn't mean they can't find their way again, huh?

Maybe all they need

Is just a little Christmas spirit.

[Cheering]

Well, uh, I... I'm good at that.

I know you are.

And I'll...

I'll always, uh,

I'll always be here for you.

Now, uh...

Go... uh, get.

Bye, guys.

Bye, buddy. Bye, buddy. Take care.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, buddy.

[Sobbing]

There, there.

Huh?

Oh! Ohh!

Bye, buddy. Hope you find your dad.

Thanks, Mr. Narwhal.

Bye.

Hey! What's your name?

My name's buddy.

Ohh!

Does someone need a hug?

[Raccoon chirping]

aah, aah! That's not cool!

[Screech]

I just wanted a hug!

[Pennies from heaven playing]

Hi.

Hello.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You did it! Congratulations!

"World's best cup of coffee. "Great job, everybody.

It's great to meet you.

Hi.

[Horns honking]

Santa, san... uh, nope.

Not Santa.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[Screaming]

Thank you. Hey, you know what? No.

No, all right? Thank you.

Get outta here, get outta here.

[Elevator chimes]

[Elevator chimes]

Hello. Hi.

Ooh...

[Gasps] Beautiful.

Looks like a Christmas tree.

A reprint?

You know how much that's gonna cost?

Two whole pages are missing.

The story doesn't make any sense.

What, you think some kid's gonna notice two pages?

I mean, they... all they do is look at pictures.

[Elevator chimes gasps]

Sorry I can't ride with you the Rest of the way up,

But this is where my dad works. Well, have a good...

Oh, I forgot to give you a hug!

Oh, I don't know, Connie, I've never

Declared kittens before.

How many?

[Gasps] Eight?

Uh, I don't know if I'm gonna Have time.

Oh, all right, just bring 'em by The camper this week,

And I'll see what I can do. I'm Not gonna charge you.

Just bring 'em by, and I'll see What I can do.

I have to go. Excuse me.

I'm here to see a Walter hobs.

I'm buddy the elf. Laughs

You look hilarious! Who sent you?

Papa elf. Papa elf?

Mm-hmm. From the North Pole.

From the North Pole? Yes.

So, you really think we should Ship 'em?

No, I think we should take a $30,000 bath

So some kid can understand What happened?

To a puppy and a frigging pigeon

ship 'em. [Phone rings]

Yeah.

Mr. Hobbs? It's me on the intercom.

Go ahead.

Yeah, I think some one sent you a Christmas-gram.

Dad!

[Chuckles]

All right, uh, let's get it Over with.

I walked all day and night to Find you.

Uh, you look like you came from the North Pole.

[Chuckle]

That's exactly where I came from.

Santa must've called you!

Oh, yeah, sure, he, uh...

Just got off the cell phone with me.

You did?!

So, go on. Go on with what?

Well, are... are you gonna sing a Song or something,

Or can I just go back to work?

A song? Uh...

Yeah. Anything for you, dad, uh...

I... I'm, I'm here with my dad

And we never met

And he wants me to sing Him a song

And, um, I was adopted

But you didn't know I was born

So, I'm here now, I found you, Daddy

And, guess what? I love you

I love you I love you!

Wow, that was weird.

You know, usually you guys just Uh, you know,

Put my name into jingle bells or something.

It's me, your son.

Susan wells had me, and... And she Didn't tell you,

And, and, and, but now I'm here...

It's me buddy.

Susan wells.

Uh, you said Susan wells? Yes.

Who sent this Christmas-gram?

What's a Christmas-gram? I want one.

[Whispering I think we should call security.]

[Good idea.]

[I like to whisper, too.]

It's okay, Walter's my father.

Well, your dad's busy right now.

Okay, I'll come back later.

Yeah, you know, you're not gonna

Come back for awhile, okay?

You're gonna go back to Santa land.

Okay.

Yeah, why don't you go back? to gimbals'?

[Sleigh ride playing]

Sorry! Sorry.

Passion fruit spray?

Fruit spray? Sure.

[Crying]

Sorry.

Sorry.

Do you wanna go?

[Toilet flushes]

Hey! Have you seen these? toilets?

They're gl-normous!

"For that special someone."

Past!

Grunts

Hey, come... come here!

Me? Yes.

What are you doing down here?

You're not supposed to be Down here!

You can shop on your break,

You don't... come on, get upstairs!

Okay, I didn't know. Well You should know!

Are you mad at me? No.

Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.

Just do your job.

Okay, fair enough.

[Gasps] wow!

What's this?

This is the North Pole.

No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, it isn't. Yes, it is.

No, it isn't. Yes, it is.

No, it's not. Where's the snow?

Why you smiling like that?

I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite.

Make work your favorite, that's You're favorite, okay?

Okay. Work is your new favorite.

Fine.

It's time for the announcement.

Okay.

Okay, people, tomorrow morning 10 a.m.,

Santa's coming' to town!

Santa!!!

Oh, my god!!!

Santa here?! I know him.

I know him.

He'll be hereto take pictures

With all the children.

Yeah!

Just keep your receipts. 10 a.m. Tomorrow.

Rate this script:4.1 / 21 votes

David Berenbaum

David Berenbaum is an American screenwriter whose credits include the films Elf, The Haunted Mansion, Zoom, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and Strange Magic. more…

All David Berenbaum scripts | David Berenbaum Scripts

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Submitted by shilobe on March 28, 2017

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    "Elf" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/elf_1094>.

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