Elf Page #3

10 a.m. Tomorrow.

Santa's coming to town.

Yes. Can you sign this for me?

Ohh! Hi.

[Whispers Santa's coming.]

Are you enjoying the view?

You are very good at decorating that tree.

Why are you messing with me?

Did krumpet put you up to this?

I'm not messing with you.

It's just nice to meet Another human

Who shares my affinity for? elf culture.

I'm just trying to get through the holidays.

Get through?

Christmas is the greatest Day in the whole wide world!

Please stop talking to me.

Uh-oh. Sounds like someone

Needs to sing a Christmas Carol.

Go away.

The best way to Spread Christmas cheer

Is singing loud for all to hear.

Thanks, but I don't sing.

Oh, it's easy, it's just like Talking...

Except louder and longer

And you move your voice up And down.

I can sing, but I just choose not to sing.

Especially in front of other people.

Well, if you sing alone, You can sing

In front of other people. There's no difference.

Actually, there's a big difference.

No, there... no, there isn't.

Wait.

I'm singing

I'm in a store, and I'm singing

I'm in a store, and I'm singing

Hey! There's no singing in the North Pole.

Yes, there is.

No, there's not.

We sing all the time. No, there's not.

Especially when we make toys.

See?

[Manager over p. A:] Attention, all gimbel's shoppers,

Please make your final purchases.

We'll be closing in ten minutes.

Well, it's time for me to go home.

But... but Santa's coming, There's so much to do.

Yeah, um... laughs

I'll see you tomorrow...

Buddy. Jovie.

Hi. Hi.

Jovie.

[Nutcracker suite playing]

Hey, uh... I'm gonna eat in the bedroom, okay?

I, uh, I got

A bunch of stuff to go over.

Are you sure? I'm... I'm just way Behind

On a bunch of stuff.

Okay.

Can I eat in my room?

No. Why not?

Dad's eating in his room.

[Imitating father] I got a bunch Of homework to go over,

And I'm way behind on a bunch of stuff.

You're eating here.

[Jovie:
] I really can't stay

I've got to go 'way

This evening has been

So very nice

My mother will start to worry

And father will be pacing' The floor

So, really, I'd better scurry

Well, may be just a half a drink More

The neighbors might think Baby, it's bad out there

Say, what's in this drink?

No cabs to be had out there

I wish I knew how to break the Spell

I'll take your hat, your hair Looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no, sir

Mind if I move in closer?

At least I'm gonna say that I tried

What's the sense of hurting? my pride?

I really can't stay

Ah, but it's cold outside baby, it's cold outside!

[Water turns off]

Get out! Don't look at me!

Get out!

[Sleigh ride playing]

Just hear those sleigh bells Jingling

Ring-ting-tingling, too

Come on, it's lovely weather

For a sleigh ride together With you

Outside the snow is falling

And friends are calling yoo-hoo

[Muffled] Dad?

Come on, its lovely weather dad.

Dad, hi! It's me! For a sleigh Ride together with you

[Muffled] Buddy. Dad! Dad! Dad!

Giddy-yap, giddy-yap, giddy-yap

Let's go, let's look at the show

We're riding in a wonderland Of snow

Hey! It's okay,

I just have a gift for my dad.

Okay, I'll take this.

Okay. Well, just make sure he knows

It's from me buddy, his son, okay?

Okay. And that I love him so much,

And that I think he's the greatest dad in the world.

You guys are so strong.

[Kids:
] Wow! My cheeks are nice And rosy

[Girl:
] This is neat. And comfy Cozy are we

We're snuggled up together

Like two birds of a feather Would be

Let's take that road before us

And sing a chorus or two

Come on, it's lovely weather

For a sleigh ride together With you

Hey, you. Me?

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

What do you wanna talk to? Me about?

How come you were

In the women's locker room these morning?

I heard you singing.

You sure it had nothing to Do with the fact

That I was naked in the shower?

I didn't know you were naked.

Why were you here so early?

They shut my water off.

What were you doing here so early?

Building this.

You built this? Mm-hmm.

They're kind a pissed about this.

Really?

Hey, guys.

Have you seen the place? Mm-hmm.

It's pretty good. It's a little too good.

Corporate must have sent in a professional.

I don't know why some body's Gunning' for my job,

But, look... let's Remain team, okay?

'Cause if I go, we all go.

If you get wind of anything,

Call me on my radio, Channel three.

Code word is "Santa's got A brand new bag,"

Okay?

Six-inch ribbon curls, honey.

That's impossible. Six... inches.

[Sighs]

By the way... I think you have

The most beautiful singing voice

In the whole wide world.

Santa...

Hey, hey! Ho ho ho!

[Cheering]

Yeah!

Santa, it's me buddy!

It's me! Hey, buddy, How you doing?

It's me!

Are you ready to see Santa?

Who the heck are you?

What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus.

No, you're not.

Uh, WH-why, of course I am!

Ho ho ho ho ho!

Well, if you're Santa...

What song did I sing for you on? Your birthday this year?

Uh, happy birthday of course!

Ho ho ho ho ho!

Uh, so, how old are you, son?

Four.

You're a big boy, what's your name?

Paul. And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas?

Paul... don't tell him what You want.

He's a liar. Let the kid talk.

You disgust me. How can you live? With yourself?

Just cool it, zippy. Woman: Smile.

You sit on a throne of lies.

Look, I'm not kidding'. You're a fake.

I'm a fake? Yes.

How'd you like to be dead, huh?

Fake. No, he's kidding.

You stink.

I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right?

You smell like beef and cheese.

You don't smell like Santa.

Okay.

[Gasps kids screaming]

He's an imposter! He's not Santa!

He's a fake! He's a fake! Come here. Come here!

I saw!

He's a fake!

Ha ha! Where you going now? Where you going...?

[Cheering]

[Manager:
] Ohh! Ohh!

No!

[Grunting]

He's not Santa Claus!

He's not Santa!

"To someone special."

What's that? Intercom.

All right.

[Phone rings]

Yeah? Mr. Hobbs, the police are On line one.

Police. Hello?

[Chatter]

Dad!

I knew that you'd come, I love you for coming.

Officer tom, this is my dad.

This is Walter... he came.

He bailed me out.

They gave me one phone call.

They gave me one phone call,

And I said," I know who I'm gonna call...

Walter Hobbs."

And sure enough, you showed up.

You did, they said you weren't goanna show up.

They told me so many times... shh shh shh shh shh.

Just who the heck are you, And what is your problem?

I-I'm buddy, I'm your son.

Wait, um...

Tell me, tell me, tell me, uh...

Where'd you get this picture?

Papa elf gave it to me.

Listen... is this some kind a game?

What do you want, some money?

No! I just wanted to meet you,

And I thought you might Anna Meet me.

Who wouldn't Anna meet you?

I thought maybe we could make Gingerbread houses,

And eat cookie dough, and go Ice skating, and...

And maybe even hold hands.

Uh-huh.

Come with me. Okay.

Okay. What have we got here?

Buddy, don't eat those.

[Gasps]

Ohh!

We got to really hurry up, Walter,

Rate this script:4.1 / 21 votes