Ellipsis Page #2

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Did you find new friends?

Do you want to eat

something in here, guys?

Do you want a table?

- JASPER:
Oh, yeah, sure.

- VIV:
Sure.

- Yeah, that'd be great!

- Follow me, yeah?

- Thank you very much.

- Follow me. Let's go.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you!

JASPER:
(SIGHS) Ah.

Order anything you want.

I will pay for you. OK?

- Oh. Thank you!

- Oh, that's so kind of you!

- Thank you very much.

- Are you sure?

Anything. Whatever you like.

Feel free, OK?

- Oh, brilliant. Thank you.

- Thank you so much!

- Cheers.

- Cheers!

(LAUGHS)

(CALLS OUT IN CHINESE)

(REPLIES)

(WOMAN SPEAKS CHINESE)

Ah. (CHUCKLES)

Oh.

- OK.

- (REPLIES IN CHINESE)

(VIDEO GAME PLAYS

IN THE BACKGROUND)

(BOTH LAUGH)

So, how long have you

been engaged for?

I have been engaged

for a year and a half.

Mm-hm.

We were meant to get

married last year,

but we had to postpone

the wedding.

So, it'll be some time

this year.

- Mm.

- What about you? A girlfriend?

Oh, I was seeing

someone, but...

..I just wasn't

in the right head space.

Mm-hm.

Did you know that Da Vinci

was a staunch vegetarian?

- Really? I didn't know that.

- Yeah.

He'd buy caged birds

and set them free.

(CHUCKLES) And Picasso had

a pet monkey, a pet goat,

a turtle and a whole pack

of dogs and cats as pets.

And Roman statues, when

they were originally built...

- Oh, my God. (LAUGHS)

- Right? Get this.

The heads were detachable

so they could replace them.

Why have you got

those little facts?

Like a little... a fact guy?

That's how I spend

my down time.

Just arty... arty animal facts?

- WAITER:
How was it? Good?

- So beautiful, yeah.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

Delicious.

I keep saying how beautiful

everything is.

It feels disingenuous,

doesn't it?

- "Beautiful. Just beautiful."

- "Just beautiful."

Is there anything that you're

really, really scared of?

Um...

Spiders. Heights.

Don't like planes.

Really?

I always see a plane

and I'm, like, gobsmacked.

When I see it going through

the air, I'm like...

It's true. It's pretty weird

to look up and think...

You know I've never

been overseas?

- You've never been overseas?

- Yeah.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Really? Never?

- Yeah. Never.

- Wow.

- No, I've never been overseas.

How old are you?

- Never been?

- Yeah.

What are you afraid of?

I'm, like... I'm afraid of,

like, swimming.

Oh, really?

You don't like swimming?

I don't like swimming. No.

- Who ARE you?

- (BOTH LAUGH)

Have you got siblings?

- No.

- Hmm.

What about you?

Do you have any siblings?

Yeah, I've got

a younger sister.

Yeah, she's two years

younger than me.

- Are you guys close?

- Yeah, we are. Yeah.

I mean, we have, like, the...

..you know, sibling stuff

that's tricky,

but we're pretty close.

I remember when she was born.

I remember just this intense

jealousy and hatred,

- going to the hospital.

- (CHUCKLES)

- That's horrible.

- That's my earliest memory.

I always think it's strange

when people say, "Oh, I have

a brother or sister,"

and they're like,

"And I hate them,"

or, "They're so annoying,"

or, "We just don't talk."

I think that's a real shame.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

What about school?

What were you like at school?

- I was pretty naughty.

- Were you?

Yeah. I was a real naughty...

I also stabbed the kid with a

pencil once. I don't know why.

What do you mean?

Like, we were just playing,

and, um, I stabbed him,

and the lead broke off.

He had two days off

and got lead poisoning

'cause I got it in his vein

and it snapped off.

God. I thought pencils

were made of graphite.

Well, this was back in the day.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Do you know what time it is?

Um...

It's about 9:
30.

Do you mind if I borrow

your phone quickly?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Thank you so much.

I'll be one sec.

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

(SIGHS)

Hi. It's me. Um...

I'm gonna be on this number

if you want to try and call me.

Um...

Everything's fine.

I hope... you're OK.

Um...

OK. Love you. Bye.

- Thank you.

- You OK?

Yeah.

Want to play a game?

- What?

- You want to play a game?

- Alright. (CHUCKLES)

- Alright. OK.

You have to be, like, here.

The first thing that comes

to your mind, OK?

What? What do you mean?

- You just answer straightaway.

- OK.

(QUICKLY) How many dresses

do you own?

- Si... thirty-five.

- (LAUGHS) 35 dresses is a lot!

Alright. Now you ask me.

(CHUCKLES) Um...

How many drinks have you had?

- 27.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

How many times has that guy

blinked at you?

- 14!

- He's blinked at you 14 times!

(BOTH LAUGH)

How many times has that lady

over there given you the eye?

She's given it to me

many times!

(BOTH LAUGH)

- I'm gonna have to ask you...

- How old are you?

..for a specific number.

49! (LAUGHS)

49! (LAUGHS) Very good.

- You look great.

- How old are you?

- 26.

- (LAUGHS)

Which is a year younger

than what I said.

That's good. That's closer.

Mm.

How old do you think

the world is?

- 14.

- (LAUGHS)

And how many stars

are in the universe?

- 12.

- (LAUGHS) 12?

(BOTH LAUGH)

I know everything

I need to know.

Yeah. How many stars

were in the universe?

- 14. (LAUGHS)

- 14.

Wow. Small world, isn't it?

What are you gonna do now?

I think we should keep

drinking, to be honest.

(LAUGHS) I think we should!

(LAUGHS)

(JASPER WHISTLES)

(CHUCKLES)

- VIV:
Race you to the end.

- Yeah?

But you've got to give me

a three-second head start.

OK.

You can't...!

- Ooh! Ow, ow, ow!

- What?

- Just kidding! (LAUGHS)

- Oh, oh!

Ooh! No, sh*t, seriously,

this time it's...

(LAUGHS)

JASPER:
Wow!

Look how red that leaf is!

- This is amazing!

- What is that?

Is that berries?

Wow. That's so cool.

JASPER:
It's like coral.

Half the tree's green

and half of it's red.

VIV:
It's a Christmas tree!

(LAUGHS)

Do I get anything

if I get up, like, super-high?

Yes. You get

a special surprise.

- VIV:
OK.

- JASPER:
Alright.

VIV:
Maybe you need to take

your socks off as well.

JASPER:
No, I feel like the

socks will give me traction.

VIV:
Do you?

- (LAUGHS)

- (LAUGHS) They are!

- They are! They really are!

- Oh, my God!

(LAUGHS)

They really are actually

giving me traction!

They're really giving me

a lot of traction! (LAUGHS)

They're giving me

super traction!

Super-duper... (LAUGHS)

What do I get?

(LAUGHS) I mean...

What do I get?! (LAUGHS)

VIV:
(LAUGHS) It's so good!

This is how the human evolves.

(VIV CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Oh, that was so good! (LAUGHS)

JASPER:
I was not

expecting that.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

VIV:
OK, if you could go

anywhere in the world,

where would you go?

(JASPER INHALES)

Weifang, Shandong, in China.

For the International

Kite Festival.

- Really?

- (CHUCKLES)

Oh, I just read about it

this morning. (LAUGHS)

OK, well,

where would you really go?

I would go to

the Galpagos Islands.

How come?

I saw a David Attenborough

documentary

and it just looks untouched.

What about you?

Where would you go?

I would go to Iceland.

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