Elvis & Nixon Page #3

"if I were made a Federal Agent-At-Large

"and I will help out by doing it my way... "

First he says he doesn't want a title,

the next sentence he's requesting

to be made a Federal Agent-At-Large?

"First and foremost, I am an entertainer

"but all I need

is the federal credentials. "

Let me see that.

"... so you can better

understand my approach.

"I would love to meet you and just

say hello if you're not too busy. "

Is this a f***ing joke?

Just out of curiosity,

what is a Federal Agent-At-Large?

No such thing.

Actually, sir, I looked into it,

there is such a thing.

No such thing. There's no such thing.

Well, is there something else

that we can give him?

An honorary badge?

Sir, if I may,

if the American public saw

that President Nixon has a relationship

with the most influential entertainer

on the planet,

that could go a long way.

I mean, not just

with our anti-drug initiatives

but more importantly,

well, he could really help us

with the youth vote.

And we know we have

an image problem with the youth.

I mean, this is a brilliant

opportunity for us.

I typed up a memo for you to sign.

I don't give a f*** about the youth vote.

Here's what I think of Elvis Presley

meeting the President

of the United States of America.

"You must be kidding!"

It's not just the youth vote.

Everybody loves Elvis.

Old people. Women.

Every single voter

in the South loves Elvis.

Okay. You got my approval.

Now you just need Nixon's.

Any word from the big man?

- Not yet.

- Damn!

But I'm sure they'll call

as soon as they get the letter.

So, I've got a flight to catch.

You want me to call

the President of Paramount?

I can do that for you.

Nah, I got a dinner tonight.

I'm meeting Charlotte's parents.

Oh, really? Hey, why don't I call

that nice little dress shop down in Memphis?

The one Cilla likes.

I can get something nice for Charlotte.

She'll forget all about it.

I don't think that's gonna work.

- Oh, yeah? Works with Cilla.

- You sure about that?

- Sorry.

- Are you?

But I came, and you don't need me now.

You got Sonny, he can take care of things.

Well, Jerry, you're my head of PR.

And this is a PR thing, so...

I need you.

Hairspray.

Grown man using hairspray.

Look at this, man,

that's my black hair dye right there.

And then I got

four different kinds of face cream.

You know what this is? Hemorrhoid cream.

They say it gets rid of the puffiness

under your eyes.

Then I put on these rings

and throw on all this junk.

And I become a thing.

I become an object, you know.

No different than a bottle of Coke.

You see, the difference

between me and you, Jerry,

is that when you walk into a room,

everybody sees Jerry. Right?

And when I walk into a room,

everybody remembers their first kiss

with one of my songs

playing in the background.

Maybe they remember the moment

when their girlfriend

split up with them

after she saw Blue Hawaii.

But they never see me.

They never see that boy

from Memphis, Tennessee.

He's buried, Jerry. They buried him so deep

under gold jewelry and money.

Flash bulbs,

stage make-up, screaming fans.

I don't even know

if I know who he is anymore.

But you do.

You know him. You know him.

You know this boy from Memphis, Tennessee.

The real Elvis.

The person.

I need you, brother.

Why don't you come home?

All right,

I got an appointment I gotta keep.

Look, Jerry, do me a favor,

just stick around for a little while

in case the big man calls, all right?

Okay.

What's the appointment?

Insurance. Just in case.

Where's the damn telephone?

It's this way.

He's coming here. Now.

I never thought he would call.

I gave him my card backstage

and thought that was the end of it.

Oh, my God.

You have to watch my phones,

I have to put my face on.

Oh, my God, why did I wear this today?

What are you talking about?

You're acting crazy!

Elvis! Elvis Presley!

Elvis is coming here!

Hey, ladies.

Mary Anne Peterson.

I'm so glad you called.

I can't believe you remember my name.

Well, I remember that face even more.

So, what are you doing

in Washington, D.C., Mr. Presley?

Well, Mary Anne, it's top secret.

But the minute I met you

I knew you were a woman of discretion.

I want a meeting with J. Edgar Hoover.

Well, that's

the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

But your department

falls under that, correct?

Well...

I don't know if I can get you

a meeting with Mr. Hoover.

Well now, Mary Anne,

it's a matter of national security.

I can't tell you what

it's about at this moment,

but is there any chance I could meet

with the head honcho around here?

Maybe he could help.

Mr. Finlator? You have a visitor.

I have to be at the White House...

It's Elvis Presley.

Mr. Presley.

This is Mr. Finlator.

Deputy Director of the Bureau

of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs.

Mr. Finlator, this is Mr. Elvis Presley.

Famous person.

I know who Mr. Presley is.

Your reputation precedes you.

- Call me Elvis.

- Yeah.

What can I help you with, Elvis?

- Thank you, Mary Anne.

- You're welcome.

May I sit down?

Yeah, no. Please, have a seat.

Well, sir, I was going to go directly

to President Nixon

but I decided

it was best to start at the top.

Not sure I follow.

Well, I am concerned

about the youth of our country

and I would like to go undercover

as a federal agent.

You want to be a federal agent?

Yes, sir. You know,

I have a military background.

I've always had a deep and abiding interest

in law enforcement.

I'd like to do whatever I can

whenever I can for the police,

I visit local police departments

from time to time.

I regularly give a little donation

to their funds or benefits.

And in exchange

they usually give me a badge.

Or a citation.

But mostly just badges.

Those are local law enforcement badges.

Federal badges, you understand,

come with many more responsibilities

and privileges.

Of course.

That's exactly why I'm here, sir.

And I understand the gravity

of what I'm asking you for, so...

I'm willing to do whatever I can for

you and your department, you know.

Whatever it takes.

We can't do that.

We can't take donations.

We are fully funded by the government.

We are the government.

Really, I'd love to help you

with this but...

Because I'm a big fan from way back.

Let me ask you,

have you looked into the FBI credentials?

Collectors really keep their eye out

for that FBI badge.

Well, sir, I don't mean to be rude,

but I didn't travel all the way

to our nation's capital

to work for the FBI.

I believe the drug culture

is ruining our youth.

This is a drug issue.

And I am here specifically

to be an agent for the Bureau of Narcotics.

- You're serious?

- Oh, yes, sir.

An undercover rock and roller.

Sounds ludicrous, but...

Truth is, not in a million years

would a dealer ever see you coming.

You see, sir, that's just the thing.

You got to understand.

I've been in 31 major motion pictures,

that makes me an expert

in costume and disguise.

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