Emelie Page #2

You coming, Jacob?

Don't bother.

Jacob never plays with us anymore.

Dress-up's for girls, Chris.

Okay, what dress should I wear?

- This one, this one, or this one?

- That one!

- Which?

- This one.

- Right?

- That's awesome!

That's the best darn dress

that I ever saw!

And then she becomes queen.

And so then they can't decide

who's gonna be queen again...

So why don't they play 'rock

paper scissors says shoot?'

- They can't play rock paper scissors.

- Oh, yeah.

And so then they decide

that they're both gonna rule together.

Hey, guys.

What if I told you...

that you don't have to be a boy,

or a girl, or a human,

or really anything?

You can be whatever you wanted.

And all you had to do was pretend.

Because pretending is this...

super power we all have.

When we pretend,

we can be anyone we want to be.

When you get really good at it...

people won't even know

you're pretending anymore.

- I wanna play pretend!

- Good.

Cool room.

It's alright.

Lemur-boy?

You ever read Death Vice?

No. Mom and Dad say it's too violent.

Well, your parents aren't here

right now, are they?

See ya later?

I never feel great leaving them

with someone we don't know.

I thought Anna seemed

like a very nice girl.

Yeah, I noticed.

The kids are gonna be fine, okay?

Jan Abbott said that Anna

is great with her girls

and we both know that they're nightmares.

Tonight's about us.

Thirteen years.

Our marriage is a teenager.

I think we deserve a night off.

I agree.

- New dress?

- Yes. Now you notice.

I... I noticed before.

It just took a little while

for the Polaroid to develop.

Thank you.

I am Princess Petalsong.

My leaves are vibrant, my fruit is tart,

and my roots run deep.

She's from enchanted forest. On toon tube?

Mommy bought it for me.

It's my favorite show.

What a big scary Bronto!

- Look how the floor shakes when he moves.

- What the heck?

Were those mommy's good pillows?

- What'd you stuff it with?

- Sweatshirts.

Now this is pretending.

Not some out-of-a-bag get-up

your mom bought you.

He ruined Mommy's good pillows!

Sometimes it's okay

to destroy things for fun.

Good job, Christosaurus.

Jacob!

Daddy's old uniform!

- Jacob's gonna do pretend with us!

- Leave me alone.

Just get off of me.

Anna, we're not allowed

to play with this stuff.

Well, Sal...

Mom and Dad aren't here, are they?

That's right.

No fair.

Hey, you were supposed to be

pretending to be something, too!

I already am.

What do you mean?

I'm a photographer.

Yeah, I travel around the world

taking photos of amazing creatures.

- Hey, Christopher, what do dinosaurs do?

- Sit down and eat meat!

That's right.

Smile.

Alright, give us a twirl, Princess.

Beautiful.

Stand up. Come on, big boy.

Alright, stand together.

Raise that trophy over your head.

But not like you're victorious, like you're

going to smash it on top of her.

Sally, stop smiling.

Stop smiling.

Good.

- Did you do this?

- Yeah, I did that.

When did you have time to do that?

I had enough time on my lunch break

to run them here from Vinnie's.

- Vinnie!

- Remember Vinnie? Yeah.

- Vinnie.

- Vinnie was 75 when we first met him.

- How old is he?

- Vinnie was 75. So he's a 104 now.

Remember what he said?

- I don't remember what he said.

- "Red is for the passion.

White is for the longevity."

That's right.

- We got that.

- We got them both.

- I don't want to play this anymore.

- Yeah, let's play a different game.

Alright. How about hide & seek? Not it!

- Not it!

- Not it! Jake's it!

No. No, no, I'm not playing.

I'm not... I'm not playing.

I don't want to play.

Come on, Jake. Don't you want to find me?

One hundred... ninety-nine...

Ninety-eight... ninety-seven...

No peeking.

Ninety-eight,

ninety-seven,

ninety-six,

ninety-five...

seventy, sixty-nine,

sixty-eight...

fifty-four, fifty-three,

fifty-two, fifty-one,

fifty...

thirty-six, thirty-five,

thirty-four, thirty-three...

Ten, nine,

eight, seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one!

Ready or not, here I come!

Now where could they be?

You found me.

Jake?

Jacob?

Hey.

Hey, will you find me a new tampon?

A what?

I have my period.

You know what that is, right?

Yeah.

So, where does your mom keep her stuff?

This?

No, that's for when your mom

has an infection.

Look for Pamtax.

Which color?

Green.

Can you open it for me?

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, man!

Jake. Come in, Jake.

Jake!

Jake. Come in, bro.

Dude, you gotta come see this stuff.

Howie...

Yo.

I think I just saw my first China hole.

You know eventually we're going

to have to have 'the talk' with him.

What talk?

'The talk'.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- No. I don't want to think about that.

I don't even like picturing him

with armpit hair.

You know the little Stevie

kid down the street,

he's got the little starter mustache

going on. Yeah.

It's just a weird time, especially

if you're the last one to sprout.

You think they're making fun of him?

They better not be. I will punch them in

the face if they're making fun of my baby.

- Joyce...

- He's my baby!

Well, your baby has a pretty

interesting browsing history.

Hey! Give it back!

I already dipped the feet!

Anna! Tell him to give it back!

- Don't be a drama queen, Sally.

- Yeah, Sal. Really?

- Christopher!

- Just get a different cookie.

- Chill out, okay?

- But I had a whole cookie family

and then the papa was about

to take them to the pond,

- and now no one else can drive stick!

- Anyone can drive stick.

There's a whole package

of cookies here, so...

- pick a different papa.

- Yeah, pick a different one.

Yeah, Sal,

there's a whole pack of cookies.

Yep, look at all of these...

Jacob!

- So many cookies.

- Anna! Do something!

Lots of options.

Can I have one? Please.

I want juice.

- You have juice.

- I want that juice.

- Go get it yourself.

- Okay.

You know now that your DNA

is all over those cookies...

- you're gonna have to eat all of them.

- No fair!

Really?

I mean it. Eat them all.

- Go.

- What?

They yummy?

This is a loada B!

Can I have some milk?

Not till you finish those cookies.

Best babysitter...

Hey, what's your favorite color?

Black.

- Black?

- Yeah.

That's my favorite color, too.

Hey, how about we go cheer up your sister?

Yeah.

Man, which of you guys put

the wrong cap on the marker?

- How's that masterpiece coming?

- Good.

It's the right one.

See there's blue under the green cap.

And now I've got a blue flower stem.

Hey, Jacob.

- If you open your mind I'll tell you...

- Fascinating.

So, this the flower queen.

- Queen!

- And then this is the princess.

- Who is the king?

- There isn't a king.

- The royal family.

- It's a queendom.

Hey, Anna, check this out.

Yeah.

- Christopher, what's this?

- Attack of the killer olives!

What happened to that guy?

You mean this guy? He got

stepped on by the monster's toe claw.

That's the toe claw and this where

he chewed off his legs and arms.

Hey, Anna, wanna help me feed my python?

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