Epic Page #2

with their

hideous green forest.

So arrogant!

All in the name

of balance.

I'm sick of balance.

No matter how

much of the forest

we destroy...

the queen regrows it

with one wave of her hand.

She needs to be cut down!

At the root!

Exactly.

Today we'll show them

you just can't stop the rot.

If the queen dies

without an heir...

the Leafmen can't

regrow anything.

The balance swings

in our favor forever.

Leaving you and me...

rulers of a desperate,

desiccated kingdom.

I won't let you down...

Dad.

I know you won't.

You look good in rat.

It's slimming.

(CHUCKLES)

ALL:
Yeah!

(CHILDREN GIGGLING)

NOD:
Look out,

look out!

Here comes

your star pupil.

Oh, oh, oh!

(SIGHS)

Where have you been?

Wait, you're mad?

You told me to

get back and I'm back.

On this!

(COUGHS)

And you want

credit for that?

You're late.

Find a real bird and

get back to your group.

You know what? No.

What did you say?

I'm not doing it.

I'm not a kid anymore

and I'm tired of you

treating me like one.

I'm trying to help you,

I'm trying to

look out for you.

I never asked you

to do that.

Your father did.

Well, you can stop.

I absolve you of all

further responsibility

in the raising of young Nod.

Don't walk away from me.

(STAMMERS) I'm

your commanding officer!

Not anymore!

I quit! Hyah!

Whoa! Thatta girl.

Easy, easy!

What are you looking at?

Nothing. I have

no opinion on this.

Everyone, mount up!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Parade! Fun! Smiling!

MK:
Dad!

Dad!

Is this a good time

to talk?

Ow. Hold on,

I'll be right down!

Ow! (GRUNTING)

(BOMBA YELPS)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

BOMBA:
Ozzy!

Ozzy, stop! (LAUGHS)

Fetch the camera!

(PANTING)

(GROANING)

Why do you have

security cameras, anyway?

Do people around here

steal old newspapers?

Oh, no, no. They're not

security cameras. (GRUNTS)

No, I have an extensive

network all through

the forest, yeah.

(STAMMERS) I don't know

how much your mother

told you about my work.

Um... nothing.

Just that you have

a delusional belief...

in an advanced society

of tiny people

living in the woods...

and it ruined

your career...

not to mention

your marriage.

Or something?

(LAUGHS) Well...

your mother

had a wonderful

sense of humor.

But I'm not delusional.

I know they're out there.

It's intuition,

like scientists

intuited the atom.

These little guys

are a big part of

the ecosystem...

the engine, if you will,

and I will prove it. Here.

(BATS SCREECHING ON RECORDING)

You have bat sounds

on your iPod? Why?

To study them.

They don't really

fly in your hair.

That's a myth.

But I was

trying to identify...

the frequencies that

draw bats to gather

with their own kind.

So I slowed

the sounds down...

and I put them through

some proprietary filters...

and guess what I heard.

(SIGHS) Voices?

Yes!

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(GROWLING)

Isn't that cool?

Okay...

if tiny men are flying

around in the forest...

how come I've

never seen them?

No, that's easy.

(LAUGHS)

It's the same reason

we can't hear them.

They just move too fast,

like insects.

(FLY BUZZING)

Didn't you ever wonder

why it was so

hard to swat a fly?

My theory is they're

actually living faster.

Like in

a different dimension.

So, no matter how fast

we think we are...

to them we're just

big and dumb and...

(SLOWLY)

slow.

(FLY CONTINUES BUZZING)

Have you ever seen one?

Well, you know, uh...

You know what?

Just because you haven't

seen something...

doesn't mean

it's not there.

I, you know, that's...

Come on.

(GROWLS)

Okay, we need to talk.

I know it's a lot

to take in.

I mean about us.

Oh, no! No,

we'll do it together!

Yeah, both of us.

Here, I made this

for you.

Dad, look...

I am almost old enough

to be on my own anyway...

so I think it would

be better if I just...

Um...

You don't want

to live here?

That's what you want?

No, it's not

what I want.

I want you to stop!

All this!

And be normal. I just,

I want a dad who's not--

(BEEPING)

(ALARM RINGING)

Oh, um, okay.

This is big.

This is a big thing

going on right now.

Let me just find--

Where are you going?

I'm just going to

investigate, rather--

Okay, something

must be happening.

(MONITORS BEEPING)

Ooh! Uh... Let's see.

Where's my camera?

Are you serious?

You have to

catch these things

in the moment...

while they're happening...

otherwise you miss

a chance that could be

gone forever.

You're missing

a chance right now!

Are you even listening?

Look, you've got

to believe me.

I am so close.

All I need is one

little breakthrough.

This could be it!

I will clear this

all up when I get back!

I promise!

Sure, Dad.

I'll be here.

In reality.

(SUITCASE THUDDING)

Bye, Ozzy.

It's not you.

(WHIMPERING)

Uh, Larry? I need

that getaway cab.

I said, pick me up

by the-- Hello?

Ugh! No bars! (GASPS)

(OZZY BARKING)

Ozzy! Heel!

Stop! Play dead!

How are you so fast

on three legs?

Ozzy!

Ozzy!

Ozzy!

Isn't she pretty?

She's awesome!

She moved those trees

with her mind!

Mom, can I be queen

when I grow up?

Oh, honey, it doesn't

work that way.

Today, Queen Tara

gives her power to

a special Pod...

so the life of

the forest will continue.

It's all

very mysterious, and--

Sweetie,

what are you doing?

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS) Mom!

I did it!

Did what?

Aw!

She's coming!

Don't do anything

to embarrass me...

or it could ruin

my chances of being

a Leafman.

Why do you want

to be a Leafman?

They gotta

wear uniforms.

Me? I like to let

it all hang free.

You see this,

you see that?

Yeah, don't do that.

That's vile.

Come on, I know you

got a little belly, too.

(LAUGHING)

QUEEN TARA:

Gentlemen.

Hey. Your Majesty.

Hello.

It's all right.

Relax, it's just me.

Mub, Grub, it's

a very nice-looking

group of Pods.

I might have

a hard time picking one.

Do you have a favorite?

Well, Your Majesty,

we have had quite

the debate.

Really gone

back and forth.

You'll note

the carefully curated

selection of sizes,

densities, color.

With so many variables,

you can't be too hasty.

Boom! Right here.

Biggest

in the bunch.

Hmm.

Well, that's

one way to go.

How about that one?

What? That one?

For real?

But it's so--

Perfect!

It's perfect.

Excellent choice,

Your Majesty.

Sometimes the biggest one

isn't the best one.

Ow!

(WHISPERING) I told you,

she doesn't like gaudy, Mub.

Unlike you, she's got class.

This is it.

This is the one.

BOTH:
Aw!

(DISTANT CAWING)

Boggans.

(GROANS)

Your Majesty!

Get to the barge!

(BOGGAN SCREECHING)

I told you

she was awesome!

LEAFMAN:

Hold the formation!

This is it, Mub!

My chance to be a Leaf--

(GROANING)

What? Your chance

to be a what?

Ronin!

(GRUNTS)

(WIND HOWLING)

Ozzy?

Oh, come on, Ozzy.

(TREE THUDDING)

(GROANS)

We had numbers,

and we had

the surprise part!

How are we losing?

Patience, son.

The forest wasn't

grown in a day.

But we can destroy it

in one. Right?

Ha! That's the spirit!

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