Erik the Viking Page #11

AUD:

Erik. You don't understand.

ERIK:

No. It's YOU who doesn't understand, Aud. Halfdan has come to

kill and destroy. We brought him here. We must stop him.

AUD:

(pointing at the cloak)

But you don't realize....

ERIK:

Goodbye, Aud...

Erik leaps out of the window. For a moment Aud is surprised and then alarmed as she realizes he's jumped out of the window, which is some forty feet off the ground.

AUD:

Erik!

She rushes to the window in time to see Erik parachuting down, holding the four corners of the cloak. Erik lands safely and waves with the cloak.

ERIK:

And thanks for the Cloak Invisible!

AUD:

No! WAIT! ERIK! The Cloak! The CLoak Invisible! It only seems

to work on my father!

But Erik cannot hear her. He is already racing back to his ship. Back on GOLDEN DRAGON, Thorfinn is taking "Being Scared" lessons from Ivar the Boneless.

THORFINN:

And a sort of slightly sick feeling?

IVAR:

That's it! AND you keep wanting to go to the lavatory.

THORFINN:

Oh, yes! I hadn't noticed that!

SNORRI:

Oh, shut up, you two. You're making us ALL nervous.

Erik leaps into GOLDEN DRAGON brandishing the Cloak Invisible.

ERIK:

So Halfdan the Black's using magic, is he? Well, I have a magic

to match his!

(he holds up the Cloak Invisible)

KEITEL:

What is it?

SNORRI:

A magic dishcloth.

ERIK:

To the oars!

THORFINN:

D'you think I've got time to go behind that bush?

Ivar starts to drum and the Vikings begin to row. GOLDEN DRAGON heads out of the harbour. Cut to Halfdan the Black flanked by his advisers, Gisli Oddsson and Eilif the Mongul. He gives a nod and Eilif bangs his staff of office on the deck, as a signal for the galley slaves to speed up. Down in the galley, the slave master (a diminutive Japanese)

stalks down the decks lashing the sweat-streaked galley slaves and cursing them in incomprehensive Japanese. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately)

a translation appears in subtitles.

SLAVE-DRIVER

(subtitled)

Row! You incomprehensible, horizontal-eyed, Western

trouser-wearers! Eurgh! You all look the same to me! How I

despise your lack of subtlety and your joined-up writing! You,

who have never committed ritual suicide in your lives!

SLAVE:

(whispering to his neighbour)

You know, I don't think it would be so bad,

if we knew what he was saying...

SLAVE-DRIVER

SILENCE! Unceremonious rice-pudding eaters! How I abominate

your milk-drinking and your lack of ancestor-worship and your

failure to eat your lunch out of little boxes!

Meanwhile the Vikings are growing increasingly uneasy as they row towards Halfdan.

SVEN'S DAD

What "magic" have you brought, Erik?

ERIK:

You'll see!

At this point, back on the Black Ship, Halfdan gives another nod and Eilif raps out yet another command with his staff. This time the prow of the Black Ship opens up like a pair of jaws. The Vikings see it and panic.

IVAR THE BONELESS

I've done it!

THORFINN:

Oh, yes...

(he has too!)

Halfdan nods again and another order is rapped out. This time a harpoon is fired from the prow. It thuds into gOLDEN DRAGON and two of Halfdan's dog-soldiers start to winch the line in. The two ships are hauled closer and closer. The Vikings panic even more. Erik holds up the Cloak Invisible and grins round at his men, knowing he is going to surprise them.

ERIK:

Here! Here is the magic from the King's daughter!

Erik's men watch, half sceptical and half hopeful. Erik enjoys the moment of suspense. The he throws the Cloak Invisible over his head and shoulders and grins round at his men triumphantly, imagining he has vanished from their sight.

ERIK:

There! I have become the wind!

The Vikings look at him, rather puzzled. Only Harald seems to be impressed.

HARALD:

How did he do that?

SVEN'S DAD

Do what?

HARALD:

Vanish into thin air?

SVEN'S DAD

He hasn't.

HARALD:

Well, where is he then?

Harald looks around. He is the only one who can't see Erik.

SVEN'S DAD

He's THERE!

At this point Halfdan's ship suddenly bites into the side of GOLDEN DRAGON. Erik leaps onto the side of GOLDEN DRAGON and swings across onto Halfdan's ship. The Vikings react to the horror of Halfdan's ship biting into GOLDEN DRAGON and to Erik's blithe leap onto the enemy boat. Erik lands on the deck of Halfdan's ship, and grins at the ferocious skull-helmeted dog-soldiers.

ERIK:

Ooh! Scary! Scary! Don't we look mean?

Two dog-soldiers look at each other, totally non-plussed. Erik grimaces at Halfdan's men, and does a little pirouette to show them all that he's invisible from every angle.

ERIK:

You can't see me! But I can see you!

He breaks into a little dance. Halfdan glares at his advisers.

HALFDAN:

What's going on?

GISLI ODDSSON:

That's Erik.

HALFDAN:

Well, why isn't he scared of us?

Erik, meanwhile approaches one of the dog-soldiers and makes silly faces at him.

ERIK:

Boo!

The dog-soldier topples overboard. The galley slaves watch another dog-soldier fall into the hold amongst them and lie there stunned. His sword falls onto the deck between the slaves. One of the slaves throws down his oar, and picks up the dog-soldier's sword. The slave-master suddenly appears. Once again he speaks immaculate JApanese.

SLAVE-MASTER

(subtitled)

Hey! What's going on? Your big-breasted women give me

no pleasure with their warmed-up fish and... Urgh!

The slave-master strides down the ship to flay the offending slave, but another slave trips him up and in a twinkling of an eye four others have leapt on the slave-master (despite their chains)

and are extracting his keys.

HALFDAN:

What's the matter? Haven't you seen anyone fight before?

DOG-SOLDIER 1

No.

DOG-SOLDIER 2

They're usually too scared of us.

HALFDAN:

KILL him!

Erik, still thinking he's invisible, is running amongst the dog- soldiers, having fun. He runs one dog-soldier through and kicks another overboard, then he runs past a few more, right up to Halfdan himself. He whisks the Cloak Invisible off his head for an instant.

ERIK:

(thinking he's revealing himself)

Here I am!

Then he turns and is off. Halfdan turns to his aides.

HALFDAN:

What?

Back on GOLDEN DRAGON, the Vikings' disbelief has turned to admiration.

SVEN'S DAD

There! THAT'S a true Berserk.

SVEN:

I'm just building up to it, Dad.

Sven starts banging his head on the side of the boat.

SNORRI:

He's gone batty!

THORFINN:

No! The fear's gone!

Halfdan grabs a sword off one of his dead dog-soldiers and thrusts it into the unwilling hands of his military adviser, Eilif.

HALFDAN:

Fight, damn you! Fight!

Cut back to GOLDEN DRAGON. Now Sven leaps across onto Halfdan's ship followed by Ivar, yelling. Snorri looks back at Keitel.

SNORRI:

Well! Come on!

KEITEL:

I... I...

Keitel is thinking: "Maybe I should let Halfdan win" but he knows he can't let a thing like that happen, now he is faced with the reality of it. The companionship of the voyage has brought them all too close for that.

KEITEL:

(under his breath)

Hang the Blacksmith's Code!

Keitel leaps to his feet and joins in the attack. Erik, meanwhile, is swinging across the deck from a rope.

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