Ernest Scared Stupid

Ahhhhh!

Ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhhh!

Ahhhh! Ahhh!

Ahhh! Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhhh!

Grab him! Grab him, Judas! Take him!

We got the monster that

wants to hack up our children.

Get the chains on him.

I got him.

The ancient evil has followed

us here to this new world.

He has stolen our children

and tried to resurrect his wicked race.

But we, in our

righteousness, have prevailed.

My babies... he took my babies!

And here he shall be buried,

and this oak tree will seal his fate.

Its roots will be his prison,

which must never be disturbed.

Hear me, Phineas Worrell.

When the face of death covers the moon,

one with your blood in

his veins will release me,

and victory will at last be mine!

There, there, Francis.

We'll get them back. You'll see.

I banish you to eternal darkness.

"So in the hours just before midnight,

"the people of Briarville

buried Trantor the Troll

"in the cold, damp ground.

The end. "

Thank you, Elizabeth.

Class, what did you think of her report?

That's bull!

It's not bull!

I read it in a book.

Yeah, it was a cool report.

It probably just went over your head.

The reports were supposed to

be on the history of the town,

not "Nightmare on Troll Street. "

Now, settle down, class.

Lay off her, Murdock.

What are you gonna do about it, runt?

Elizabeth scared Kenny

with a spooky story.

The dork likes her.

Although Elizabeth's

report was a bit unusual,

legends and myths are

a real part of history,

especially here in Briarville,

with our unique past.

I think it was a clever idea.

Ernest!

Ernest! Stop the truck!

So, uh, Elizabeth,

what was the curse the

troll put on Phineas?

Well, legend has it

that from that moment on,

Phineas' descendants would

get dumber and dumber...

and dumber.

Yeah, when they hired

me as sanitary engineer,

they had no idea that I was

actually Ernest P. Worrell,

man of destiny, ruler of refuse,

a man who has taken dominion

over his environment...

...a brilliant innovator

in the fertile field of recycling.

The czar of jars, the baron of bottles,

the duke of dust...

Oh, no!

Uh, the switch is on the fritz!

Uh, Rimshot! Rimshot! A

little help here, Rimshot!

Rimshot! Rimshot, the clutch!

Rimshot, the clutch! The clutch!

The clutch, Rimshot!

Help!

Rimshot, the clutch!

Rimshot! Whoa!

Wa-aaaah!

Ahh.

That was close.

Oh...

I'm gonna be squooshed!

Rimshot, help! Do something! Rimshot!

Aah! Aah!

No, no! Don't stick

my head in those gears!

But i-it's me or you!

But I have a family at the doll factory!

I'll send them a nice card.

You'll never get away with this,

Ernest! I know where you live!

Ah heh heh heh heh heh.

Wa-ahhhh!

Those Murdocks are major jerks.

If their IQ's were any

lower, they'd be plants.

Rimshot! Something's wrong!

Help! Let me out of here!

Ernest!

This should open it.

Way to go! You did it!

Well, no need to thank me, little lady.

Just some routine hero work.

Aahhh!

Sheriff...

I've just come from the Hackmore place.

It's an absolute mess.

It violates every code in the book.

I want it cleaned up, and I

want it cleaned up immediately.

Yes. Well, mayor, I served the papers,

and Ernest said he would get right on it.

If he can't handle it, you fire him.

Yes, sir.

There goes that idiot now.

Ha. And he's going away

from the Hackmore place.

That was close.

Yeah, my dad said we can get

in big trouble riding in here.

Well, it is against

city regulations and all,

but as driver of a garbage truck,

I feel like captain of my own ship,

master of my own fate,

able to make my own rules,

a man above the law.

Uh-oh.

It's my dad!

Uh, was I speeding?

Sometimes the raw power of this

vehicle just gets away from me...

Ernest, I told you to get

out to the Hackmore place...

Shh!

You two...

get out of there and

get in the car right now.

Dad, I...

No, I don't want to

hear it. Get in the car.

It wasn't their fault.

I-I'm the captain, and...

No, look, I told you to get

out to the Hackmore place

and clean it up, and

you haven't done it.

Well, uh, I don't have

a toxic-waste permit.

Uh, I just took a cold pill, and I'm

not supposed to operate heavy machinery.

Look, if you want to

hang on to your job,

you'll get out there and do it.

See you, Ernest.

Come on, boy.

We've nothing to fear but fear itself,

plus the known fact

that Old Lady Hackmore will turn us into

a couple of drooling, red-eyed zombies

if she catches us here.

Well, nobody home.

I guess they're out robbin' graves

or bitin' the heads off chickens

or whatever's in voodoo vogue.

Get off of my property!

What are you doing here?!

Ma'am, I'm just here to

pick up all this garbage.

Got no garbage here,

only the expressions of the soul.

Uh, ma'am, I'm an

official representative

of the Briarville city government,

and, incidentally, a close

personal friend of Mayor Murdock's.

Aren't you that Worrell kid?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh... you will bring

down the curse on us all!

Woe to you, oh, ye seed of Worrell.

Get out of here and don't come back!

I wish you'd reconsider.

Recycling is a... a very

important part of good citizenship.

Yeah.

And you'll be a dead citizen.

When the poisons of

the evil courses through

the portals and channels of your body,

you will lie a quivering,

toxic mass of screaming flesh!

They will have to load you

and the rest of this backward town

on a meat wagon with a pitchfork!

So in other words,

it might be better if

I came back another day.

Aahhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhh!

Pretty scary scream, huh?

My heart was in my throat.

You have a rare gift.

You haven't seen the grand finale yet.

Come here.

See, they'll come in here

and go through that door

and up this way, where Joey

hits 'em in the face with a mop.

A wet mop.

Then they'll have to crawl

through all these peeled grapes

while I'm screaming, "Where are my eyes?

Don't step on my eyeballs!"

Gross! But I love it.

It's the Murdocks!

Look out, witch! It's an earthquake!

It's a big one... 5.3

on the Richter scale!

Quick! Let's run out the back!

It's caving in! It's caving in!

Get out! You're gonna die!

We're caving in!

Let's run for it! Go! Go!

You buttheads made a big mistake!

Hey, where do you think you're going?

The fun's just beginning!

I don't know what to do. They

wrecked our haunted house.

They... they wrecked your haunted house?

Yeah.

You know, what you need is some of that

hysterical perspective,

know what I mean?

Not... really.

You need to learn a self-defense lesson

from... tiny Botswana, that...

plucky little nation

that defeated the...

giant Ottoman Empire.

Ernest, what does that

have to do with me?

I'm glad you asked.

It was a dark night in lower Botswana.

Giant bula bula flies

droned in the still air.

Then it came...

the screeching war cry

of the Ottoman hordes.

Wa-aah!

We're the Ottomans, and you're not!

You're in a world of it now, pal!

Oh, my. I'm afraid.

Sure, I'm scared.

E-everybody in Botswana's scared.

It looks like curtains.

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