Eruption: LA Page #3

---

Uh, no, not exactly.

Um, th-this is a tectonic event.

Uh, it might be what we call

a flat volcano.

Similar to what's

in Yellowstone.

Or it just might be something

we haven't seen before.

So, you're my special science

advisor, what do we do?

[Robson] We're putting together

a plan now.

Should have it for you

within the hour.

[Josh] What are we,

just leaving the copter?

[Kat] With that rotor,

we're not going anywhere.

[Irwin] Exactly.

What we need is a phone.

[Josh] No kidding, I need to get

in touch with my sister.

I'm not getting

any bars, though.

Please.

Already tried that.

Like I told Kat,

"Put it away,

you'll just make

the situation worse."

What?

There's a massive

network overload.

You won't get through

for a while anyway.

Well, it definitely won't

happen if I don't try.

[chuckles]

Good luck with that.

We need to find a phone.

I thought you said

phones don't work.

Cell phones, no.

But if we're lucky,

we'll find a landline

if the poles are still up.

[knocking on door]

[Irwin] Hello? We need

to use your phone.

Shouldn't we be

getting out of the city?

Yes, us and four million others.

Listen, I have to get a message

through to the mayor

at City Hall

before that bastard, Robson...

Hello! Hello?

Oh, screw it.

- [Josh] Wh-what are you doing?

- Sh!

[Josh]

Okay, you can't just break in.

[Irwin]

We're not stealing anything.

We're just gonna use the phone.

What?

Ah.

[Josh] Looks like someone

left in a hurry.

[exhales]

[dial tone]

Yes!

This is playing out

just like my movie.

The eruption, the fault...

It's all in my script.

You wanna know

the problem with Hollywood?

What?

It's all just a bunch of

kale-salad-eating,

who's-dating-who

what-kind-of-car-you-drive,

smoke and mirrors bull crap.

There are real people out there,

really getting killed

and you just equate it

with how

it reminds you of your movie.

Yeah.

It's just terrible.

[Irwin]

Operator, operator,

put me through to the mayor

at City Hall, now, please.

[female operator]

All lines are busy, sir.

This is Dr. Irwin,

advisor to the president.

[female operator]

President of the United States?

[Irwin]

Yes, that president.

[female operator]

Of the U.S.?

Of the United States, yes.

L-listen, listen.

You do know

there's a federal emergency

going on right now, do you?

- Mm...

- Mm-hm, mm-hm.

So, do you wanna be responsible

for the death

of thousands of people?

[female operator]

Please hold.

No, didn't think so.

Advisor to the president?

Really?

Well, I did see him speak

at some global warming

conference once.

He's a smart man.

Hold on, hold on!

[dramatic music]

Get everything empty,

every supply room

and closet in this building

and bring everything

down to the ER.

[Jessica] All of you interns

need to go

outside and get ready

for triage.

We're gonna have a lot of people

coming upon us at any minute

and we need

to prioritize them.

Okay? Let's move.

[siren blaring]

[Irwin] It looks like

the quake subsided.

- We should be good for a moment.

- If you say so.

You know, you,

you seem kinda relaxed

considering you're

such a notorious man-eater.

I've lived through worse.

Oh, you mean that time you had

to wait a whole 20 minutes

for your kale Caesar salad

at some fancy-pants restaurant?

Clearly, you don't

know me at all.

Yeah, you're right, I don't.

So, tell me something

about yourself.

How about you tell me

something about you?

You're a fan boy for Dr. Irwin

and his research, right?

No more than any other

sci-fi geek

who's into fascinating

disaster scenarios

that give Hollywood

a run for its money.

You really think

it's gonna get worse?

Much.

Why?

What's happening comes straight

from Dr. Irwin's book,

the one I researched

for my movie.

Lava Angeles?

Not my title.

Never is.

[Josh]

Now, who's Judgmental Judy?

Look...

what he wrote

was that the entire

Los Angeles basin

is sitting right

on top of a volcano.

Yes, hello?

Stop talking.

[Irwin]

Yes, I'm still here.

[female operator] Connecting you

to the mayor's office now.

[Irwin]

Well, it's about time!

[telephone rings]

Okay? Okay, please stay

on the line.

Sir, I have a Dr. Irwin

on line three.

It sounds important.

What? Dr. Irwin?

Great, now every kook

that's ever written a book

or a conspiracy theory

is gonna start calling me.

Tell him I'll call him back,

I'm busy.

He says he's the advisor

to the president.

[chuckles]

The advisor to the president?

The only advice

this man should be giving...

is to internet trolls

on the conspiracy forums.

Not calling me.

Now just hang up the phone.

- Uh...

- I said...

[whispers]

Is he on the line right now?

Oh, for all things holy,

hang up the phone.

Hang up the phone.

Call Dr. Robson.

- [beeping]

- No...

[screaming]

[screaming]

[exhales]

I've found scream therapy

to be quite effective.

You should try it.

No thanks.

[Kat]

Chicken.

[Irwin]

So, you need to amend

your previous statement.

It's not a volcano.

It's... magma tubes

straddling the fault line.

And people think the San Andreas

Fault's the real problem.

- It's not?

- [Josh] Not according to him.

According to him,

it's the lesser known

Newport-Inglewood Fault.

Never heard of it.

[Josh]

Most people haven't.

Doesn't have the same ring.

I've never heard

of these magma tubes.

Yeah, why would I write it down?

So you could steal it?

Look, my, my lawyer

said that everything that you

wrote was public knowledge.

Look, one thing I hate...

more than writers,

it's lawyers!

[Kat]

How did it go with the mayor?

Is he sending

a personal limo to pick us up?

Moron's hung up on me.

[explosions]

[dial tone ringing]

Come on, Josh.

[automated message] Hi, this is

Josh, I can't answer the phone

right now because I'm

soaking up the rays

in sunny Hollywood...

[man on PA]

All hospital personnel

report back to your stations.

Come on, we have to figure out

what's happening.

[dramatic music]

[busy tone]

- Come on, Jess.

- I already told you.

You're tellin' me to forget

that my sister's out there?

If you wanna go, go.

I'm gonna stay here and try

and clean up this mess,

ergo supplanting the need

for anyone to leave.

You're what?

- That's crazy.

- Now you're catching on.

I have to go, all right,

like someone

fairly intelligent

recently said,

"There are real people

out there

and they're really dying."

Yes, yes, and they will continue

to die unless we do

something about it.

We?

[instrumental music]

Continuing our

breaking news coverage

of the eruption in Los Angeles,

new details emerging

by the minute.

This massive explosion

in MacArthur Park

was first thought to be some

kind of terrorist attack.

This false information

spread like wildfire

across social media.

It has whipped up

a mass hysteria

amongst Angelinos.

However, we here at

Your News Leader

have exclusive coverage

that proves otherwise.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes