Euro Angels Hardball 13: The Hole Story Page #2

---

See you inside.

- The power's on the left.

- Yeah.

Oh, man. What is that smell?

It looks like a tomb.

- And?

- And I ain't goin' in there.

- Oh, like I care what you think?

Uh...

Can't be any worse than Wales, right?

- Me next!

- That's practical, Frankie

- Did you get that smell? What is that?

- Jesus, man.

- You all right?

- What?

You all right? Watch out for that bit.

Oh, man.

Mikey, look at this, man.

Check this out! This is huge!

Look at that! What is that stuff?

Whoa!

Ladies, you are going to love it down here!

I'll get them to send it up

to your room, Frankie!

- Oh, shut up! Just be careful with it.

- This way.

- Jesus, it's so dark!

- Right, I'm going first.

- Are you going down?

- Yeah.

- The ladder stops, mate.

- What?

Oh, no, it's cool. It's just...

Do you need a light?

- Yeah. Shine it down here.

- What is that smell? It's disgusting!

- Enjoy the Mike Steel experience.

Do you think he'll fall in love with me?

Just be careful.

- Liz, watch the step.

- Mate, look at the pit!

Here, pass the rucksack.

Mind the ledge, it's really narrow.

- You guys all right?

- Yeah, we're cool, cheers.

- Close the door!

- Bye-bye, Martin! Bye-bye!

- Put the lights on!

- Frankie, calm down!

- Can you put the lights on?

I don't like it!

Oh, God, can't you find the light switch?

Calm down!

- Yeeeehaaa!

- Whoooo!

- Would you look at this?

- Lights!

What do you think, girls?

Pretty damn good!

- Aaaaaaaaaah!

I shot you in the back like six times, dude!

You're dead!

We love you

Got no brakes

butyou know we got a radio

You're in the way!

You've gotta move

when we're rockin' on yourstereo

Die, scum! Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

Get out of the way of the woman!

- Get out of the way of the lady!

- You're dead!

- You're gonna die!

- No, man!

- You're the only one to die!

We love...

Love

We love you

Love

We love you

Love

We love you...

Would you mind

if I boiled water for my pasta?

No, not at all. D'you want to go first?

Yeah. Sure. Cheers, I'll...

It's great stuff. It's got this hole

down the middle so it cooks quickly.

Have you got a pan I can borrow?

- There you go.

- Cheers.

- What are you having on that?

- Er... nothing.

You can't have pasta and nothing.

- That's nice. That's really nice.

- I've got salt. Do you want some?

Pasta and salt? No! Thanks, though.

- What are you having, then?

- I'm not hungry.

- You've got to have something.

- Didn't really bring anything.

- You didn't bring any food?

- Not food food. A bit of gum.

How will you survive on gum

for three days?

It slipped my mind. It didn't occur to me.

- OK, so food slipped your mind.

- I've got food.

I've got sausages and beans and noodles.

Plenty for everyone.

You can have as much as you want.

You have sausages?

Do you have tomato sauce?

- Some.

- You enjoy your pasta, OK?

I'm having sausages...

..with Liz... tonight.

Frankie?

No... no, thanks. I'm on a diet. I've got

fibre pills to stop me feeling hungry.

Yum

OK, it's my turn.

My friend was driving his girlfriend

in his Ferrari...

Who do you know with a Ferrari?

- Bob and Sally. You don't know them.

Bob and who?

- Mike, don't!

- F*** off. Really, relax.

Bob and Sally went for a drive, but they

ran out of petrol in the middle of nowhere.

So Bob went to find some. Sally was left

in the car. She switched on the radio...

..and they said there was like

this crazy madman on the loose.

- But she was really tired...

- Man with a hook.

- On the roof of the car.

- With Bob's head on a stick.

- On a hook!

- No, this really happened!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Frankie

OK, I've got one for you.

Make you cack your pants.

- What?!

- Shut up, man.

Something happens to Martin.

Doesn't come back for us.

Told you.

That's sick.

Possible.

Don't be stupid.

Geoff, you shouldn't say that.

What if you make it happen?

How can I make anything happen

when I'm here with you?

- You'll jinx us.

- How?

- It's tempting fate!

- Oh, please How does that work?

- Lizzie?

- I'm a scientist. I don't believe in fate.

- Mike?

- I'm a Scientologist. I'm with Liz.

- Oh, yes!

- Fine!

But if anything happens to Martin,

it's Geoff's fault, OK?

If that's what it takes to get you

to shut up about it, fine.

- Fine. Fine.

- Is my story the best, or what?

- Ole, ole ole ole!

- Liz.

- Bingham, Bingham

- Liz.

- What happened on the third day?

- Don't you want to know what we did?

Martin was supposed to let you out,

wasn't he? Liz?

- Liz.

- I don't know!

- What don't you know?

- I don't know what happened.

Come on, you're quite safe here.

Deep breaths. Look at me.

It's the third day.

You're packed and ready to go.

What's the time now?

Same as when you asked

two minutes ago.

Well, it can't be the same time

if two minutes have passed, can it?

It's 3.32, then.

So where is he? The field trip's

supposed to be back in 30 minutes.

I have a driver waiting. This is so...

What if he's been hit by a bus, is in a coma

and can't tell anyone where we are?

- Oh, please.

- Oh, my God. What if he's dead?

He's not dead!

I'll call him. What's his number?

- They don't work down here!

- Here, give me your phone. Let me try.

You get anything?

No, nothing.

Maybe give it a shot up by the door.

- Does it work?

- No, nothing.

- You've jinxed us. I knew you would.

- This is a wind-up.

No, this is your fault! You never

should have said those things!

Hey! You guys! Have you thought

that maybe the traffic's heavy?

It's cool, I'm not worried.

Help! Help!

- Geoff! Open the door!

- Everyone just calm...

- He's just trying to help!

- What do you think I'm trying to do?

Please! Shut up and let me get on with it!

- You're stinking mad.

- Hey! Hey.

- We're nowhere closer!

- Hit it with the pipe, then.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you have a go, darling? Go on!

OK, so they know we never went to Wales.

As far as they know,

we have a three-day head start,...

..which means they could be covering

a three-day radius of the school.

That covers...

..like, the whole world.

So what do we do?

We're being held to ransom

until Martin says so. We can't do anything.

Don't say that! I mean, he could just be ill.

Isn't that right, Lizzie?

I don't know.

Why would he do this? We're his friends!

Are we?

Is he really your friend, Frankie?

He's not mine.

Think about it.

I don't know a thing about him.

He has no morals, no ethics.

Everything's just a game to him.

Oh, so this is a game? Oh, that's great!

That's f***ing wonderful

Oh, my God, I paid for this.

Yeah, but he's careful.

Nothing's left to chance.

Right now, we're trapped

because he wants us trapped.

Why?

Well, I guess we're gonna find out.

Liz. Look at me.

He didn't come back.

Martin didn't come back.

You've cracked it! I knew you would.

I told the lads.

This f***ing great cheer went up.

A bloody schoolboy, I said.

Little Lord bloody Fauntleroy!

- Good job, Doctor.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes