Even Cowgirls Get The Blues

INT. CAVE NIGHT

There is a huge ancient hourglass made of animal skins, and

acorns plop through the waist of the hourglass one by one.

It sits in a pool of water. In the water swim EYELESS CATFISH

in geometric patterns. An underground stream feeds the pool

of water and then flows into a huge underground crevasse

that on occasion emits a LOW RUMBLE.

INDIANS with torches surround the hourglass, which now we

can see is in a cave. And as soon as the acorns have finished

passing through the hourglass, a crew of Indians turn it on

its opposite end. One of the Indians appears to be JAPANESE.

ONE INDIAN stands at the wall of the cavern in front of a

series of symbolic carvings and scratches, with stone in

hand he makes a few hatchmarks, and keeps an eye on the

CREVASSE.

THE CREVASSE RUMBLES once more, loosening a few chunks of

rock from the cave.

The earth begins to shake.

THE CHART KEEPER

She is restless tonight.

ANOTHER INDIAN:

She dreams of loving.

STILL ANOTHER:

She has the blues.

View of the chartkeeper's drawings. One is of a crane with a

very long neck. Another is a primitive drawing of a naked

girl, who has long flowing hair. She also has, pointed out

from her sides, thumbs that are three times normal human

proportions. A MUSICAL CHORUS sounds at the sight of this

drawing of a girl with the thumbs. The chartkeeper puts the

finishing touches on the drawing.

And the song "Happy Birthday to You" strikes up on country

and western guitar and polka-like accordion. title

BIG THUMBS:

INT. RICHMOND VIRGINIA SUBURBAN HOME DAY

We see CANDLES burning on a cake. It is somebody's birthday.

And there are six candles on the cake.

SISSY HANKSHAW is six years old.

Her DADDY and a visiting UNCLE, finishing their rendition of

Happy Birthday, are staring down at Sissy and looking at her

young THUMBS, WHICH ARE UNUSUALLY LARGE and twitch with a

mind of their own.

She manages to blow out all six candles.

UNCLE:

Well, you're lucky that you don't

suck 'em.

DADDY:

Sissy couldn't suck 'em, she'd need

a mouth like a fish tank.

Sissy is negotiating a fork full of birthday cake, dropping

it because of her thumbs.

UNCLE:

(agrees)

The poor little tyke might have a

hard time finding herself a hubby.

But as far as getting along in the

world, it's a real blessing that

Sissy's a girl-child. Lord, I reckon

this youngun would never make a

mechanic.

DADDY:

Nope, and not a brain surgeon,

neither.

UNCLE:

Course she'd do pretty good as a

butcher. She could retire in two

years on the overcharges alone.

Laughing, the men walk to the kitchen to fill their glasses.

Sissy is left to feel sorry for herself in front of her cake.

UNCLE (O.S.)

One thing, that youngun would make

one hell of a hitchhiker...

This startles Sissy. A new word that tinkles in her head

with a supernatural echo. Sissy looks at her thumbs.

UNCLE (O.S.)

...if she was a boy, I mean.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE DAY

Dr. Dreyfus looks over Sissy's thumbs.

DR. DREYFUS

She is, if I may speak frankly,

somewhat of a medical oddity. Due to

impaired dexterity, her life

activities and career potentialities

will be reduced. It could be worse.

Bring her back to me if there ever

is pain. Meanwhile, she will have to

learn to live with them.

MRS. HANKSHAW

That she will. That she will. The

Lord made them things big for a

purpose. God don't never git tired

of testing our kind. It's a punishment

of some sort, for what I don't rightly

know.

(whimpering)

Oh Doc, if a young man ever shows up

here with, a young man with ugly

fingers, you know, something similar,

a similar case, Doc, would you

please...

DR. DREYFUS

Remember the words of the painter

Paul Gauguin, dear lady. "The ugly

may be beautiful, the pretty never."

I don't suppose that means very much

to you.

MRS. HANKSHAW

It's a judgement. She's gotta bear

the punishment.

Sissy beams serenely like a Christ figure.

INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY DAY

Sissy looks up "thumb" in the dictionary. It says: the short,

thick first or most preaxial digit of the human hand,

differing from the other fingers by having two phalanges and

greater freedom of movement.

Sissy mouthing the words: "Greater freedom of movement."

EXT. ROAD DAY

Sissy very timidly ventures a pass with her gigantic right

thumb in the direction she is walking.

She is passed by...... BUT NO!

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