Every Day Page #2

Thank you for getting back to me.

Anyways, I don't want to be

the one who always says no.

No. The one you gave me was two years old.

It's completely outdated.

- (Ned) I think it's pretty important that we present

- (Jeannie) Well, someone must have written

- (Jeannie) something down somewhere.

- (Ned) the united front here, don't you think?

- (Jeannie) He was in the hospital for two weeks.

- (Ned) So that I'm not always the bad guy?

No, no, no. It's another Bliss.

My father lived in Belleville. Yes.

Yeah.

We've been through this.

Okay, I'm, I'm gonna leave now.

I'll call you when I'm on my way back.

Welcome back.

No, he's not dead.

He's in New York.

[horn honks]

Gotta go.

Hey.

[kissing noises]

I missed you.

Look at you.

It looks like you've grown

two inches in a week.

Your hair is huge.

How's Ernie?

It's gonna take him a little

while to get reoriented.

Pretty big change.

Is he still sad that Shirlee died?

Very. But he's been pretty sad

for a long time.

How are you?

I've missed you.

I had a dream the other night

that your plane crashed

and you were killed.

You know, there's a much better

chance of dying in a car crash

than in a plane.

Anyway, I'm back,

safe and sound.

(Ned)

What's he thinking, you know?

There's more, Dad.

You want it?

I, it gets me so pissed off,

because I waited

I waited a week for the notes

on that outline

and then he's Ilke, hurry up,

I need it yesterday.

(Ethan)

These taste weird.

Are these the ones from

Whole Foods?

(Jeannle)

Yes, they are.

And they're the kind

you like. Eat them.

My boss is very, uh...

- unpredictable.

- [Ernie snorts]

(Jonah)

So I'm supposed to bring a check

for the prom by tomorrow.

And if I'm late, it's

ten dollars extra.

Can we not talk

about the prom right now?

Mama just got home.

We'll talk about it later.

You want some salad, Dad?

You need to have something.

You've barely eaten all day.

I need my sh*t-kit.

Ned, could you?

It's in the bathroom.

I can get it. I'm not dead

yet, goddamn it.

What's a sh*t-kit?

Here, let me with that, Ernle.

It's a kit that cleans sh*t.

Would you mind?

This f***ing thing, Jesus Ohrist!

Piece of crap!

No big deal, Ernie.

Careful of the glass.

Why she didn't bring the goddamn

scooter is a mystery to me!

It was too heavy, I told you.

Why the hell didn't you let me die

there in the first place?

I didn't ask you

to f***in' move me here!

[coughing]

Ned, could you take him

in his room and help him change?

Sure, I'd love to.

Ready, Ernie?

Eat. Eat.

[keyboard clicking]

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Just chatting with some friends.

Anyone I know?

Not really.

Just kids from school.

Ah. You're not talking to people

you don't know, are ya?

Uh, you mean potential pedophiles?

Mm-hm.

Just the ones who live around here.

All right. It's after ten.

Why don't you shut it down now?

can I have five more minutes?

No. can you just shut it down

without a big negotiation?

Do you think I like coming down here

and being the Internet police guy?

No. I don't.

It's after ten.

Now, shut it down.

Okay. Fine. Just let me say goodbye.

I wouldn't want to

be rude to a priest.

[chuckles]

You...

You know, the day my

mother married him

that morning her mother told her

she was making a mistake.

That she was climbing--

Climbing into a sick bed.

I know, you told me.

At my brother's funeral

he was furious at my mother

for crying too loud--

for making a scene. He told her

to shush at her son's funeral.

I know. I know.

He's just such an idiot.

[sigh]

Well, you know, he was, um

he was probably upset too. He just...

Don't. Don't.

What?

Don't come running to his defense

every time I'm mad at him.

Which is pretty much all the time.

This is a huge

adjustment for me

having him so close.

It's nothing I ever anticipated,

okay?

It's gonna take me some time.

Okay.

[scoffs]

[sighs]

How often do you

and your wife have sex?

Not as often as I'd like. Why?

How often do you fantasize

about someone else

when you and your wife have sex?

Not as often as I should. Why?

I've never been in

a relationship for so long.

I don't know how you married

guys do it, day in, day out.

Yeah, that's, uh--

I feel like I'm turning to dust.

That's how it is sometimes.

This is your son?

Yes.

He's cute.

Does he have a girlfriend?

No. Not really.

Not, uh, not yet.

The B story.

It doesn't work.

I've already written it, Garrett.

Rewrite it.

It sucks.

He overdoses on painkillers.

That is boring.

I mean, I've seen that.

I've done that.

Surprlse me.

He gets high.

He runs over someone. Paralyzes them.

Breaks their leg. I don't know.

Shock me.

[moans]

[piped in music]

(Ernie)

Where are we?

We're at the doctor's, Dad.

My gums hurt.

I gotta see a dentist.

Well, I'll call mine.

We'll see when there's an opening.

Look, they're bleeding.

I've gotta see one right away.

I'll call when we get home.

And I gotta see a urologist,

too, you know.

I got, I got a rash on

the head of my penis, I think.

My, my balls are unusually

tender and--

Dr. Elias can look at them.

Is he a specialist?

He's a geriatric internist.

Well, I wanna see

a specialist, okay?

And I gotta see a cardiologist

too with this arrhythmia.

They're gonna have

to up my digitalis.

One thing at a time, okay?

I can't do everything.

I gotta--

I gotta pee.

Dad, I wish you wouldn't

do that. I can take you.

If I gotta wear these

f***in' things--

I might as well use 'em.

[moans]

[sucks in deep]

[exhales]

You're here late.

I have to rewrite

the whole B story.

Apparently, overdosing on drugs

and falling out a

window is too soft.

Isn't that sort of the whole point

of the episode?

The great downward spiral?

Yeah, it was.

Now it's incest.

[laughs]

Takes the edge off.

No, thanks.

I like my edge.

[laughs]

Why are you still here?

Oh, my ex is moving out.

Finally.

It's better if I'm not there.

[horn blarlng In dlstance]

How long have you

guys been together?

Too long.

Almost a year.

Hmm. Is he a writer?

Actor.

Ooh.

[chuckles]

Never again.

Yeah.

They're so f***ing needy.

How long have you and

your wife been together?

Uh, 19 years.

Wow!

Nineteen years?

Yeah, we met in college.

That is quite an accomplishment

in this business.

Yeah.

Two kids?

Three. My father-in-law's

the youngest.

Oh, that sucks.

Yes, it does, actually.

[laughs]

I mean, it's one thing if it's your parent,

but taking care of someone else's.

You gotta be a saint.

I'm sure your wife

is very appreciative.

You'll have a Get Out of Jail

Free card for the next ten years.

[chuckles]

Could come in handy.

Hang in there, Mother Teresa.

Later.

(Jeannie)And then they tell

us we have to see

three other doctors every

three months

at the VA just so they can

approve covering the cost

of all the meds he's taking.

These can't be

his regular doctors.

We have to see other doctors

in between those doctors.

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