Every Day Page #7

He hasn't been friends

with Jasmine in over a year.

Okay. What about

the other one? Ashley.

It was 11:
30 at night.

I called you

but you were too busy to answer.

[beeping and calling]

Hey, it's me.

Uh, we're pretty worried about you,

so call us back, okay?

Little sh*t.

You smell like chlorine.

Oh, come on. It's not a big deal.

It was half a tab.

Listen, I need to go because

I told them I'd be home. Excuse me.

You always do what your mommy

and daddy tell you to? Look.

There's an upstairs.

Fifteen minutes.

We can do so much

in 15 minutes.

This is why you came, isn't it?

I told you I wasn't into drugs.

[club music out]

I don't understand

what that means.

(Dr. Lee)

The heart's operating at about 20% capacity.

The blood flow's just enough

to keep the muscle allve

but it won't be for long.

And what do you recommend?

We could run more tests,

some of them invasive

and see what our options are.

Don't you think we should--?

And the alternative to

that would be what?

To let nature take its course.

What does that mean

in terms of a prognosis?

It's not an exact science.

But my guess would be

two months at the most.

Probably less.

[cell phone rings]

It's Jonah.

[hospital background noises]

How are you feeling?

I don't like hospitals.

Your heart's not so good.

In fact, it sort of sucks.

They wanna go in

and do some tests.

No!

No more tests.

Ernie, if they

don't do something--

"Despise not death

"but welcome it, for nature wills it

like all else."

No more tests.

So what happened to your face?

I was, uh, leaving work

and someone slammed a door in it.

Where were you?

Uh, I went, I went dancing

with some friends from G S A.

They wanted to, to stay, so.

Was it fun?

It was okay.

Did you meet anybody interesting?

No.

You will, you know.

You're gonna find someone great.

A great guy who's

just right for you.

I promise.

Is he okay?

[sigh]

He seemed shaky.

I don't know what happened.

Did you guys have a fight?

No.

How's Ernie?

They brought him home

in an ambulance.

Hospital policy.

He thought it was

a police escort.

He seemed to enjoy it.

That was some sharp door.

Yeah.

Well, where is he?

I'm not waiting any longer.

Marni, call Ned.

Tell him we're moving on. And--

Sorry. I was just

finishing this up.

What happened to your eye?

Slammed it into

my steering wheel.

Did it help?

(Brlan)

Look, what if it's like, um--

What if it's like one of those, uh,

uh, those sexual assaults in Mexico.

I forget the name of the town.

(Erlc)

Uh, Ciudad Juarez.

We're breaking episode eight.

Yeah, right. It's like, you know,

the women are, um, uh, kidnapped and raped

and, uh, sometimes

tortured and killed.

Better.

They actually cut

the nipples off of the ladies

and they keep them for mementos.

That's disgusting.

Use it for sweeps.

Why stop there?

Why not make one

of them a cannibal?

You know, maybe you could take

the husbands of the women and, uh

and, uh, slice off

their penises and, uh

do what that guy

in Germany did.

You know, flamb and eat it

with a nice glass of sherry

before he hacks off

the rest of their limbs

and freezes that

for further consumption.

I mean, that'd really get 'em talking

by the water cooler, huh?

And then for the big finale,

maybe we could, oh, I don't know

scour the atrocities of,

uh, Rwanda and Darfur.

Forget the Nazi death camps,

I mean, those guys were pussies.

And see if we can't find some more

fun-filled sadomasochistic

games to keep 'em tunin' in.

That'd be f***in'

fantastic, right?

Shock 'em to death.

Are you done?

To a crisp.

Oh, and I didn't slam my eye

into a steering wheel.

I mean, how f***ing

dumb would that be?

I was attacked by Robin's

psychopathic ex-boyfriend

while she and I

were having public sex

In her very luxurious,very warm,

black-bottom swimming pool.

[door opens and closes]

Are you f***ing crazy?

Sorry. It all just sorta came out.

[chuckles]

I told them you were kidding

that you're stressed out

over your father-in-law.

Look, Ned, I'm sorry

about what happened with my ex.

He just gets

wacko sometimes.

You should get

a restraining order.

Well, at least I'm not

stuck in a bad marriage.

I can get out

whenever it--

Stops being fun?

I never said it

was a bad marriage.

You were f***ing me underwater.

I just assumed.

I thought fun is what

you were missing.

Yeah.

Me too.

[Brazilian music, female singing]

We used to do this

when I was little.

Pick up something, join us.

[music continues]

[music continues]

(Jeannle)

Dad, what happened?

What's happening?

I better lay down.

[music stops]

My legs are cold.

can't feel my toes.

She said you might have

trouble with your circulation.

Your hands are warm.

I don't wanna die alone.

You won't.

I'm right here.

"Nothing happens to anybody

which is not fitted by nature to bear."

Bullshit.

I couldn't say goodbye

to Tommy before he died.

I couldn't watch.

Dr. Karlin had to

give me a sedative.

I wasn't able to bear that--

losing Tommy.

[mumbling]

You're only human, Dad.

He was your son.

They're good, your boys.

They're beautlful.

I'm very lucky.

Sometimes luck has

nothing to do with it.

[sighing]

How's Ernie?

I think he's okay.

He doesn't seem to be

in any pain, so.

Thank you, God, for morphine.

It's hard, isn't it?

The whole--parents, children--

being married.

Yeah.

Kinda tough.

We have those two beautiful boys.

We must be doing something right.

Look--

Don't.

We'll talk about it later.

We'll work it out then, okay?

You look good.

I feel old.

But you look good,

that's the main thing.

[Ernie's death rattle]

[Ernie's last breath]

[knocking]

(Ethan)

I think Ernie needs you.

(Garrett)

Fantastic rewrite.

Midget sex?

Christian Right's

gonna be all over this.

What are you doing?

Leaving.

Just, uh, assumed

after my little, you know.

Self-righteous hyperbolic rant?

Yeah, that.

Well, not unless

you ask me nicely.

You were right.

Now, don't get used to that.

I don't say that very often.

But, you know,

sometimes I go over the top.

The women sex torture thing.

And even cable isn't ready

for cannibalism yet.

But, I do think a good

flamb penis story

you can put in on children's

television. Somewhere.

Just, I'll get it in.

Next season. And you--

Good to see you come out

get out of the box

and just fight there.

That was great.

Let loose.

Do it more often.

My son is gay.

He came out six months

ago, but he's--

he's known since he was twelve.

I just--

just thought you should know that.

Look at you.

You're not nearly as boring

as you pretend to be.

(Ethan)

Can I hold him?

He's heavy.

Are all his bones in

here and everything?

Pretty much. That's him.

[sniff]

I don't think I

want to be cremated.

I do.

I don't wanna take years

to decompose underground.

I don't really wanna

be burned, either.

I'm not sure what

the alternative is.

Maybe I can be stuffed

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