Everyone Says I Love You

1

# Just you #

# Just me #

# Let's find a cozy spot #

# Where no one can see #

# Just us #

# Just we #

# We've missed an awful lot #

# What bliss it'll be #

# Oh, gee #

# What are your charms for #

# What are my arms for #

# Use your imagination #

# Just you #

# Just me #

# We'll tie a lover's knot #

# Just say you love me #

# Just he #

# Just she #

# And what a perfect plot #

# Just say you love me #

# Oh, gee #

# Oh, my

It's finally springtime #

- # Ooo #

- # Birds on the wing-time #

# And what a lovely day for love #

- # Just me #

- # Just you #

- # Just you #

- # Just me #

# A bit of paradise #

# Right here for us two #

# Just you #

# Just me #

# Let's find a cozy spot #

# Where no one can see #

- # Just us #

- # Just the two of us #

- # Just we #

- # Mighty few of us #

# We've missed an awful lot #

# What bliss it'll be #

# Just you #

# Just me #

# We'll tie a lover's knot #

# Just say you love me ##

[Girl Narrating] That's my sister

Skylar and her boyfriend Holden.

And that's me.

Well, I'm Djuna. D-J-U-N-A.

Oh, and everyone calls me D.J.

Now, I'm gonna level with ya.

We are not the typical kind of family

you'd find in a musical comedy.

For one thing, we got dough.

And we live right here on Park Avenue

in a big apartment; a penthouse.

Dad's a lawyer. I mean, I call him

"Dad," but actually he's stepdad.

There's original Dad

who married Mom and they had me.

And there's stepdad. Well, he had

two kids with his first wife when...

Look, maybe this is all

getting a little confusing.

You see, there's Lane and Laura.

Those are my half-sisters,

and they're really great.

A little twitty at times,

but we love each other...

and we have

a million laughs together.

And, of course, my stepbrother

Scott, who's very smart...

but currently on the outs

with the family...

because he's become

a conservative Republican...

which has caused my stepfather

to have a stroke...

since we're all liberal Democrats.

How can you expect

people on welfare...

to develop any sort of incentives

if they're getting handouts?

What are you saying? Somebody who can't work

for one reason or another has to be discarded?

Welfare does not work. It's the same

outmoded liberal fantasy world...

as affirmative action, not allowing

school prayer and coddling of criminals.

I can't believe I'm having this

conversation with my own flesh and blood.

Unless some large Republican pea pods are in

the basement and have taken over your body.

Not pods, Dad. Ideas.

Virile, modern ideas.

A strong America.

The right to bear arms.

- Arms? What are you... Guns?

- Yes!

Are you crazy? What the hell is the matter

with you? I don't understand you anymore.

- Why... Wait a minute. Excuse me.

- Relax, Bob.

Steffi, bring down a copy

of my will and an eraser, okay?

[D.J. Narrating]

If Dad's a liberal Democrat,

then you'd have to say Mom

is the one thing more extreme.

She's a guilty liberal Democrat.

Well, he grew up poor and he knows

what it is to work like a dog.

But Mom came from money and luxury...

and, you know, spends all her time

doing volunteer work for everybody.

She's with the American Civil Liberties

Union and Save the Whales...

and she raises dough for the

Whitney Museum and Lenox Hill Hospital.

She's always got something going,

like throwing some chic soiree

to help the New York Philharmonic.

## [Piano]

## [Violin Joins In]

[D.J. Narrating]

Lane and Laura go to Nightingale,

which is this ritzy school

on East 92nd Street.

[All Chattering Simultaneously]

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, there he is.

- He is so gorgeous.

- Who is he?

[Lane] We don't know, but we always

see him around this neighborhood.

- She's in love from afar. - I'm sure we can

think of a way to get her to meet him.

Please, no humiliating schemes.

[Lane Chattering]

You guys, my mom is

in there with a patient.

[D.J. Narrating] Claire's their best friend.

Her mom's a shrink on Central Park West.

Years ago, Claire drilled

a secret hole in the wall,

and we get our kicks after school

sometimes kinda tuning in on her clientele.

I've been having these fantasies

about... other men,

and, uh... you know,

it makes me feel bad and, um,

you know, guilty.

Oh, I ha... Um, I had

that elevator dream... again.

And, um, I'm in the elevator...

and... it just keeps going up...

and up and up.

[D.J. Narrating]

Now you have to meet Grandpa.

Eighty-eight years old.

Found him at Grand Central Station.

- He thought he was

at the Botanical Gardens. - Thanks.

[D.J. Narrating]

You have to keep your eye on him.

Last year he wandered out

of the bathroom in a towel...

and got on line in Times Square.

We had to send Frieda to get him back.

Oh, she's our maid.

Personally, I think she was

Hitler's maid at Berchtesgaden,

but she's the only one

who can handle Grandpa.

[Frieda Speaking German]

I found your arch supports in the stew!

Whatever were they doing in the stew?

- Hi, Grandpa. Hi, Frieda.

- [Speaking German]

[D.J. Narrating] Finally, there's my

dad, who lives in Paris but visits a lot.

You see, he and my stepdad

are great friends.

And if you ask me, he still has a crush on

Mom, although they've been divorced for years.

They're all friends, though, and they

come to each other with problems.

I can't believe it.

Giselle left me.

Look at this face. She left me with my

best friend, suddenly, out of left field.

- She didn't give any warning?

- Nothing at all. Look at that.

Did you ever see anything... I'm so

distraught over this, I can't tell you.

- I'm gonna kill myself.

- [Bob] Ohhh.

I should go to Paris and jump off

the Eiffel Tower. I'll be dead.

In fact, if I get the Concorde,

I could be dead three hours earlier,

which would be perfect.

Or... Wait a minute.

With the time change,

I could be alive for six hours in

New York, but dead three hours in Paris.

- Sit down. Relax. - I could get things

done and I could also be dead.

You didn't hear the signs.

She must've given you some signs, Joe.

What do you think I am, an idiot? What

kind of signs you think she gave me?

I found this photo in her underwear drawer?

She muttered his name when making love?

- I'm not talking about that.

- No, that's what happened.

- What? Joe! - I didn't see it.

I couldn't put it together.

I'm really glad you didn't marry her.

I told you, don't do it.

- I would've been happy to marry her.

- I'm really glad.

You want a glass of something?

Some wine?

I'll take anything. I gotta have

a drink. Know what the sad part is?

- I thought everything was going well.

- You always pick the wrong women.

- Hey, I picked you.

- Yeah, we got divorced.

- 'Cause you were impossible to live with.

- I was impossible to live with?

I love this. You couldn't figure out

whether you wanted to be...

a psychoanalyst or a writer.

So, I compromised.

I became a writer and a patient.

We're gonna find you somebody.

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