Evil Aliens

The earth really did moved!

- You felt that too?

- You better get used to it, with me, baby.

There must have been something...

My brothers says this place is cursed.

If they catch me stoned, and screwing with

a mainlander, there'll be trouble.

Did you hear something?

- Sh*t, it could be them.

- Chill, relax baby.

- I'd better go.

- Come back, baby!

I'm sorry.

That wasn't funny.

Real scary.

Come on, baby.

Come back.

Let's have some more fun.

I can make the earth move for you again...

Oh, bollocks..!

What's up?

What kind of country-sh*t is this?

Is this your famous brothers idea of a joke?

It's not funny!

No, mate.

What are you doing?

You don't have to do that.

Come on, can we talk about it..?

Please, wait!

Until the government admits what they really

know, we keep uncovering the truth for you.

So keep an open mind,

and your cameras ever handy.

File #68:
"Bournemouth sighting"

What the f*** is that..!

No, no, we saw it.

It was a mothership.

It was coming down from the sky.

And it sounded "wo-wo-wo".

That was some compelling evidence,

proving further, that we, are not alone.

For Wierd Worlde.

I'm Michelle Fox.

Good night, stay strange and...

...keep watching the skies.

- What is it, Howard?

- I got last months figures here.

Did our audience suddenly all died

in a plane-crash?

We'll do alright..

What are you, high on life?

I mean TV-shop got more viewers than this...

Either you'll deliver something special,

- Or I replace you with someone who can.

- I didn't say I hadn't any ideas.

How about this? I got a very strong lead

on a recent alien abductee.

Abduction is hardly original, is it..

What's your angle on that then?

Picture yourself a Welsh farmer-daughter.

She's young, she's sexy.

She's abducted

and now she's suddenly pregnant.

Here's the kicker though: She claimed

it all happened just one week ago.

- Look at the size of her stomach.

- Who's the father?

Please tell me it's E.T.!

I like it! Contact her, tell her you'll

be over, and this is what we'll do.

That camera-man you like so much...

- ... what's his name?

- Ricky.

- Now shoot this f***er!

- Yeah, he's cheap.

- Does he come with a crew?

- The sound-guy Jack.

Marking. Scene 666. Take 1.

Die, motherfuckers!

F***..!

Sounds perfect, that's your crew covered.

What do you got in the way of experts?

I DEFINITELY BELIEVE

There's a guy, he keeps emailing the show

with ridicoulus pedantic corrections.

- I said "experts".

- He is.

He's the head of B.U.R.C. "British UFO

research committee. "

Plus, a nerd like him...

I recon he'll do it for free.

Also, I want to see a reconstruction.

Beef it up a bit.

Get some actor who can play both the

alien, and the boyfriend.

My kingdom for a Babylonian whore!

Get someone good.

What about the girl?

Ah, let me guess?

Candy?

"To Howard. You bad bad boy / Love Candy"

We use her because she's good.

Not because she's my girlfriend.

Oh, and Foxy.

Make it sexy!

Come on, inflato-boy.

On-locations-shoots that involves long

drives, comfort is the king.

Don't be so embarrased. Plenty

of people suffer from hemorroids.

There's cream for it!

Why couldn't this f***ing playstation

be picked up in London, like everybody else?

He's doing some important research.

I don't know, the guy's a nut!

Oh, dear. What have we got ourselves into..?

Are you alright, Mr. Gorman?

Michelle Fox?

Wierd Worlde?!

- It's a real privilege to meet you,

miss Fox.

- Michelle, please.

I really love your show. You can't believe

some of the LEY-activity around here.

Did I tell you about the time

I nearly collapsed the church,

by rerouting LEY-lines?

- I believe LEY...

- Yeah!

More about it later.

We got a very tight deadline.

We got to get into the island

before the tide gets in.

Sacallum is a remote island 2 miles

from the mainland.

It's only accessible during low tide,-

- you can drive the coast-way,

called "Devils spine".

We'll be lucky to have our spine left

after this.

The spine is amazing.

It on a major LEY-line.

The island is owned by the Williams-family.

They've owned it for centuries.

It's been farmed since ancient times,

on usually fertile ground.

No shops, no neighbors, no pubs.

And one of the greatest stone-circles

in the whole of Great Britain.

- Isn't it going to be fascinating?

- Absolutely sh*t!

No pub?!

Wales..!

TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHO

It's so bloody cold!

They do know we're coming, right?

Maybe they all have been abducted?

Hallo?

Miss Williams?

Anyone?

I can't find the f***ing lightswitch.

Hallo?

Anybody home?

Just the wind, sugar.

Nice...

Oh, God..!

F***ing sh*t.

- Fabulous, dinner!

- Goldielocks, we're home!

- Where's the three f***in bears?

- Who cares? I'm starving.

Shoot that for me.

Gasmasks?

The military must have got here first.

Our investigation is screwed.

What the f*** are you doing

filming in our house?

Does anybody speak Welsh?

- Excuse me, does anyone here speak english?

- English?!

Do you know Cat Williams?

I'm here to interview her.

My God, I'm f***ed!

Remove that thing!

For fucks sake, stop!

- Sorry, my brothers don't talk English.

- English!

And they're not used to strangers.

What's with the suits?

- We may be cut off here,

but not everything's old-fashioned.

We have a very progressive power-supply.

Manure.

We collect the waste product, and keep it

in a system at the back of the house.

The hydrogen-sulphide it produces,

powers the whole place.

It needs maintanance, so...

Fast-gas for power...

Get the money first.

- Can you give us the pay you promised?

- Here you go...

There's money for nothing boys!

Daft bastards looking for aliens,-

- just 'cos some tourist

knocked up our little sis!

I'm still not convinced that

wasn't you, Llyr!

I'm sorry, but I was asleep

when you arrived.

I left you out some food.

Local recipe.

Mostly cow's-brain.

We could do with some sleep.

We got a busy day, filming, tomorrow.

How long is it to the Devil's-teeths?

My brother's don't approve of

what I'm doing.

- I hope they're not gonna be any trouble.

- Me too. They're mostly harmless.

A fellow

"Hitchhikers guide"- fan I see?

Yeah...

What did your brothers say?

That they've seen bad omens in the sky.

And that no proper christian

should go near those stones.

It's a cursed place.

There's an intriguing old legend

about the stones.

They're said to be the gate of hell.

Should the devil manage to escape

his prison...

the stones themselves

would cast him down from heaven.

Please, show me something.

One UFO, or a glims of an EBA.

Please...

Oh sh*t, I've overslept!

What the f***..?

The name is Gorman.

Gavin Gorman.

The only way that we can save

your planet, is if we copulate.

The dream... I must go back to my dream...

Please, wake up.

You got to believe me, I just seen one

of those FUO-thingies. Quick!

UFO!

How's that for a f***ing guy-shot!?

Do you like it, big boy.

God! Gavin, Candy?!

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