Evil Aliens Page #2

Get the f*** out of here!

Dreadfully sorry to interrupt...

Candy... UFO... saw... grab you camera!

Perhaps we should phone SETI?

You didn't wrote down it's sky-quadrant?

Seti, is that got to do with a sofa?

- No, no. SETI, Search for

Extraterrestrial Intelligence.

I don't think little miss tits'n ass

is down with any kind of intelligence.

She probably dreamt it.

Page one, the actors handbook:

Use your bleeding imagination!

- No fence.

- None taken!

Who'd do that?

- Maybe the visitors way of communication?

- I don't think visitors would use 6" nails.

That's f***ed up!

F***in hell, disgusting!

We can't leave it like that.

Someone's got to kill it.

Come on guys,

it'll be a mercy-killing.

Those farmers really freak me out...

Thank you...

I knew you'd reveal something to me.

As head of B.U.R.C.,-

I hereby welcome you to our humble planet.

Why not...

May you live long, and prosper.

It's amazing, a crop-circle.

Real proof of alien-visitation.

There's no doubt about aliens now.

- It's a first time for everything.

- Get the camera, and film this.

- This is proof.

- I wish that were true.

What do you mean,

this is your dream come true.

No, it's a lie! You made the

crop-circle with these.

You showed how to do a crop-circle

in your own show, last month!

Yes, it's my dream to find evidence of UFO.

You don't know how important it is to me.

There's alot of people who wants more

in the world than their crappy 9-17-slavery.

You should be ashamed. I thought

your show was a voice of truth.

- You have a responsibility to the public.

- Yeah, to entertain them!

In 2 years I've been reporting for the show,

- I've never seen a ghost, goblin,

monster or a UFO.

I'm sorry, but for me, it's just a living.

If I don't get a hot story this week,

then my show is finished. Do you want that?

I want the truth.

Yeah, but the truth ain't out there.

It's good that the aliens weren't real,

you greeted with a line from Star Trek!

As head of B.U.R.C. I could not let you film

this as evidence of real alien activity.

Well, we havn't yet.

Nobody fucks with a UFO-enthusiast!

The bastard's ruined it! Why bother filming

it now, they'll never let that on air.

- Sorry for oversleeping.

- Don't worry, you didn't miss a thing.

I'm sure we all want's to

leave this paradise,-

- so let's hurry. Actors, get yourselves

ready for the interview.

Ricky, come over here a second, babe.

I just wanna run over some technical things.

That's odd...

It's complete opposite...

What's up?

- Have you dodgy-wired it?

- No, it's from the stones.

The stone-circles are known to recieve

energy. They power their LEY-lines.

But this seems to be... emitting it.

Sometimes you get this sort of activity when

a site's connected to a underground tunnel.

- I'd love to get a look

beneath this lady's skirt.

I bet you would, you dirty bastard!

Nice one.

Let's shoot this f***er!

Miss Williams, tell me exactly what

happened on that horrific night.

Hallo...

You smoked alot of pot that night. Are you

sure you weren't just high and paraniod?

Paranoid...

For f***'s sake, I was forced to see him

be murdered, and could do nothing about it.

I reported it, but it wasn't

taken seriously.

I thought you'd understand...

The police still have him listed

as a missing person, and

the body's not been found.

- You think I killed him?!

- I'm just trying to understand

what happened.

Yeah. I'm painfully aware of how

ridicoulus my story sounds.

The only reason I'm telling it to you,

is to get money for an abortion.

Believe me, this isn't a pathetic cry for

attention or a cheap shot of fame.

But I doubt it's something you'd understand.

So here's the deal.

You wanna talk about alien-rapists, fine.

But making me look like some

stupid farm-slut with a drug-problem,

you'll make a misstake!

Actually, I was gonna make you an

lucrative offer to film the alien birth.

Still, that was great! Real emotions.

Top television.

Howard's gonna love it.

- Did you hear that?

- What, babe?

- Oh no, come on, finish me off!

- Hear the noises... I've got to go.

So you run off over there...

No!

Okey everyone, that's a wrap.

Shame nothing real happened.

Never does...

F***in' woman drivers!

F*** you two,

the bastard-thing just cut out.

I doubt the auto-towing-service

cover Hell-island.

Okey, try it again.

I can't understand it.

Come on, baby.

Why the hell are they moo-ing?!

Yeah, something spooked them good.

- Let's have a look, it could be

Gavins mate.

- No, I'm a sound-man, I don't do curious.

Okey, try it again.

Are you still not feeling well?

Don't worry.

The doctor is here.

Give it another go!

Sh*t!

Isn't this a common

UFO-trace, Gorman?

Flattening crops is one thing, but

mutilating cattle for a TV-program is sick!

- We didn't do this, Gavin!

- Whoever did this, did it recently.

Did you see something?

What did you see?

- Was it reptilian or gray?

- Pissed off, I'd say.

Candy! Go, go, go!

Start the engine!

Start...

Start the engine!

Michelle, this isn't covered

by our insurance!

We're supposed to be responsible

for the safety of these people.

I wote we get off this island now!

I'm a character-actor, not a f***ing hero!

I can't believe you people!

This could be the most significant

event of our century,-

perhaps all history!

He's right. This is what we're here for.

This could change everything for us!

Yeah, our status from living to dead!

What happened out there sister?

Something bad's out there hurting our flock.

Show him the footage.

They took that well...

What do you think they've got in mind?

Why you...

There there, calm yourself big lad.

She was special...

...but we'll get another.

She'll never be the same!

Never!

Hey, monkey-boy.

This could be the chance of the lifetime.

We got to go back out there.

We can get real footage of aliens here.

Not the usual fuzzy out-of focus-sh*t...

Have you any idea how much it'd be worth?

That's alot of bananas!

Nice weapon.

Question:
Where are the love-couple?

To catch their bloody deaths!

Deserting us here, the asses!

- What are you talkin' about, b*tch?!

- Now now, ladies. Let's be friends.

Atleast we'll be safe here darling.

Perhaps a drink to calm our nerves, yes?

- What the hell is this?!

- Localbrewed.

Too much for gay city-slickers?

Yes, atleast I never get pregnant.

Come on, Ricky.

Oh, f***in' hell..!

The air taste like sh*t in here!

It's even worse than the manure-farm.

I don't even wanna know

how this technology works!

Three-seat-model.

Reaches lightspeed in about 6.2 seconds.

Uses brain-steering.

Atleast, now we know how

many aliens are out there.

The mainland-police says they don't

have a plan for an alien-invasion.

But he wished us a nice evening.

Those bastards!

I think that's kind of sweet.

- Did you see that? Her nose f***in' lit up!

- Amazing! It's an implant.

They're either have a tracking-device, or...

...or somekind of remote-control.

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