Evil Aliens Page #3

- Do you think it's a good idea?

- It's safer if we get it out.

Too much for gay city-slickers, ey?

Looks like the locals gets

smashed on it too.

Come, Cat.

Time to get in the game.

Got to sort my head out...

Ugly runts 'aint they!

Michelle Fox here,

reporting from an actual alien craft.

This stuff is really amazing, isn't it!

- What the f*** are you doin'?!

- Hand me the money, and I let you know!

Hell's sh*t, what's that!?

Just...

...keep...

...filming..!

That's a good boy!

Come on. Sit boy!

Let's get away from here,

before the owners miss Fido.

You f***in' rocked back there, babe.

- Thanks

- It's okey.

I f***in' hate pets!

Think we should go outside and take a look?

This is a chance for contact.

Yeah, great! Let's duke it out

with the monsters from outer space!

- They prefer to be called "visitors".

- You'd know, cause you read it

on internet?!

- Don't pick on his because he's brave.

- Oh, shut up!

- "Braver"?

- You won't believe what

these farmer's done!

This may not sound well for

intergalactic harmony, but...

...they're real!

Aliens are real!

Thank you!

Thank you, lord!

Don't tell us:
"told you so", Gorman.

Excuse me, but before we start our picnic,-

why do you think we're safe out here?

We saw their ship, it had only three seats

and we now seen three alien corpses.

Where are our heroic farmers now, then?

They're burning the other two

alien bodies over there.

Who's pretty flesh are you

burning there brothers?

Cat... is that you?

You sound odd.

I'm hurt. Something attacked me.

Help me.

Oh, f***!

- Sounds like trouble.

- Let's check it out.

This is bad!

We got to get out of here, now!

Dito, this is just getting too real for me.

Those farmers looked pretty macho.

What chance do we got?

Gorman!

F***, don't do that!

- Look at the farmers!

You said that no one was left alive!

- Perhaps we was wrong about

the amount of aliens on that ship.

- Perhaps Fido had a bigger brother?

- Fido?

Yeah, we sort of killed a pet...

I wish I could have seen that.

What did it look like?

Excuse me, Gorman. I think we got

more pressing concerns!

We should get back to the mini-bus.

For safety, arm up with

whatever you can find.

Gorman, you're the alien-expert.

How do we beat these f***ers?

These are the first aliens I ever met,

but I think the farmers over-reacted.

- We should try to communicate with them.

- I think it's to late to win them over, honey!

Why don't I get a weapon?

These are our weapons.

We're pro's.

I don't know what dream you're dreamin',

but I'm not buying it sunshine.

At most, there can be only one alien left.

You better make that two.

Jesus-alien is missing.

- Look, I got a boom-pole, you idiot!

- Quit it, Campbell!

Guys, keep it together.

We really should not be making noise.

- Oh, God!

- Sorry, lads...

I'm blind!

Everyone back to the bus!

I try to hold them off.

For fucks sake, Gorman!

Spark up that chainsaw!

Never thought I'd be pleased to see him!

- My f***in' eyes!

- Get him out of here!

Can you get my cane!

I'll feel safer with it.

- Oh, f***..!

- Everybody meet back at the bus.

I thought I had a death-scene there..!

- Oh my God, we can't leave him like that.

- He's as good as dead.

Well, someone's got to do something!

Just think, this footage, it isn't

just gonna make us rich,-

it's gonna win us awards!

Yeah, which our ghost will collect

if we don't leave!

Guys, relax. We gonna get through this.

- What happened?

- They got Foxy!

- I've got to go and get her.

- No, Rick!

She's dead. If you go, you're dead.

If you leave me, if dead.

The only chance we got

is to get to the bus, now!

You know I'm right!

Are you okey?

No.

Thanks for f***in' waiting, you wankers!

Hey, where's Michelle?

Or did you sell her out, too?

I guess they realised what a phoney

she was after all, huh.

F*** you, playstation!

You don't know anything about her!

Does anyone wanna switch seats?

I bet anyone 50 it won't start.

I didn't die!

Just to be sure.

Whoppie-f***in'- doo!

We managed to kill one whole alien!

Im-f***in'- pressive!

Where's Gavin gone?

- He must be dead. We're all gonna die!

- You can stop that sh*t now...

Foxy died for a stupid TV-show.

Was it worth it?

Come on guys! Atleast we got a wheels.

Surely things can't get any worse.

What the f***? Earthquakes in Wales?

- It's not an earthquake!

- Ofcourse it is, the ground's shaking!

- What's happening?

- We gonna need a bigger boat.

It's beautiful!

It's like a giant mobile-phone on charge.

This doesn't look good!

Behind us!

F***in' hell, it hurts!

How's that?!

Sh*t! No!

F***! F***! F***!

- I should have seen that one coming!

- Seen what?

F***, God hates us!

We just have to wait for the tide to get up,

then we can leave.

- I want out of this shitty island!

- How the f*** are you gonna

do that, Houdini?

Please, be gentle with me!

It's my first time.

Oh, shame I don't got a camera.

Then I could interview you.

To find out how you feel.

Gavin!

Thank God!

Please, help me out of here.

Oh, "Gavin", is it now?

Don't you remember earlier. The way you

treated Cat, and her "crazy story"?

Well, look what "miss crazy" did to you!

Please, Gavin. I'm sorry, I...

- I was just doing a job...

- Your job, eh? You know what that's called?

Poetic justice.

Sorry, but I'm gonna leave you here to rot.

Bye, bye!

Just kidding!

You didn't really think I was gonna leave,

did you?

- Come on, you're breaking up the team!

- I'm sorry I rather die drowning,-

- instead of being ripped to pieces!

- We got to get back to the bus!

This place is gonna be swarming soon.

We can barricade ourselves in the farm.

That's just "Day of the Dead"

without the helicopter!

I told you this was gonna be sh*t!

- You can barely see!

- I don't need to, if I swim straight!

- Water-currents are suicide!

- So stay here then! I'm sorry...

Hold on.

Take one of these, it's proof that you're

not competely mad, if you make it.

I'll buy you a pint on the other side.

It's been special.

F***!

GOD HATES TREK:

Come on, England!

Come to papa!

We're lost.

The whole ship looks exactly the same.

- What in Roddenberrys name is that?!

- Fido! It's Fido!

We must go back to the middle.

What're we gonna do, fly out?

Not so hard! Gentle.

She obviously responds to to a little,

you know... For-play.

It's working!

Up. Up, up!

Up!

Oh, this is just cracking!

I'd like to stay on earth.

I can't see a f***in' thing!

We have to make the rest of the way on foot.

Here.

Get ready for this.

- Sh*t, we're out of ammo!

- Hit them.

Aim on the helmets.

- What is that thing?

- Salvation.

Let's go harvest some aliens?

Farmer, you know how to drive that thing?

How difficult can it be?

"Motivational farming-music"

Come on, you bastards!

Suck on this!

Oh, my God. That was awesome.

Oh, sorry Ricky.

I've got a really bad feeling about this.

Whoops!

Where's Ricky?

He never gives up his tapes.

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