Excess Baggage Page #5

EMILY (CONT'D)

This place is harder to get out of than a convent.

WILL:

How'd you get out of the trunk?

She surveys the Mercedes, the warehouse, him.

EMILY:

You're not a kidnapper. You're a thief.

Will snorts.

WILL:

And the handcuffs.

EMILY:

Hah. You were after the car.

WILL:

Lady, you're giving me a headache. Who are you?

She smiles, all winsome charm.

EMILY:

Tell you what. Give me the car keys, let me outof here, and this'll be our little secret? Deal?

INT. WILL'S WAREHOUSE - NIGHT (LATER)

Emily sits on the commode, handcuffed again, this time tothe sink. She's wearing pants this time, too, but that doesn't appear tocheer her up.

Will, flaunting a new and improved jaw injury, smiles grimlyand pockets the handcuff key.

EMILY:

You scum sucking, arrogant, peg-headed, sadistic--

Will touches his jaw gingerly.

WILL:

I liked you better in the trunk.

EMILY:

I hope you go bald.

A doorbell CHIMES above in the living quarters.

WILL:

Oh, hell.

He shuts the bathroom door -- on a few stifled yells --and punches an intercom button on the wall.

WILL:

Yeah?

JOE (V.O.)

Will?

WILL:

Joe?

JOE (V.O.)

Yep.

Will winces.

WILL:

What are you doing here, Joe?

JOE (V.O.)

Plates ring a bell? Maybe tags? Maybe you were supposedto be at my place five hours ago?

WILL:

Oh. Great.

(he doesn't sound great)

Hang on -- I'll be right up.

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - NIGHT

The old woman from the dumpster stalks, stiff backed, toa parked police cruiser and raps on the window. A startled PATROLMAN rollsit down. She stares him straight in the eye, daring him to notice her dirtswept hair.

OLD WOMAN:

I would like to report a case of domestic violence.

PATROLMAN:

You need to call it in. I'm on special assignment.

OLD WOMAN:

Excuse me, while I pull out my portable phone.

PATROLMAN:

You want a ride downtown, Sister?

OLD WOMAN:

There is a man beating his wife down the street.

The patrolman winces. She radiates indignation. He liftshis radio.

PATROLMAN:

Central, I've got a report of domestic violencein the neighborhood. Request backup. Over.

VOICE OVER:

Negative, 223. All cars in the vicinity on specialassignment. I'll have to send someone else out. Over.

The patrolman rolls his eyes at the old woman.

PATROLMAN:

(to old woman)

What'd I tell you?

She snorts.

PATROLMAN (CONT'D)

(into radio)

Central, there is a man beating his wife down thestreet. Over.

A pause.

RADIO (V.O.)

Sit tight, 223. I'll see what I can do.

INT. WILL'S WAREHOUSE/APARTMENT - NIGHT

(Uncle) JOE POGUE is a pretty good indication of what Will'sgoing to grow up to be, if Will doesn't get on one of those planes prettyquick. Not that Joe's a bad guy -- he isn't -- but he's got a habit, namelya bottle, and a tired stoop to his shoulders that says bad news has perchedon his doorstep one too many times.

Will opens the door, ready to say something appropriate,like maybe this is a bad time -- but doesn't get the chance.

JOE:

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Where have you been?

Joe barges right in, waving a crinkled up brown paper shoppingbag under Will's nose -- about the size and shape of license plates.

WILL:

Oh god, I forgot.

JOE:

You forgot? You forgot? I thought you were in jail.

Stalking to the refrigerator.

JOE (CONT'D)

He forgot. You got anything to drink around here?

The question's moot, as Joe's got his beer and is headedfor the door to downstairs.

JOE (CONT'D)

Did you get her?

Will panics for a quick second.

WILL:

Her?

JOE:

The car?

WILL:

Oh, right, the car. Yeah, I got her.

Joe, much to Will's chagrin, is headed straight for thedoor to downstairs.

JOE:

Well let's take a look.

Joe stops at the door, studying the knob, which is loose.

JOE (CONT'D)

When are you going to quit this business, Will?

Will, at a loss, shrugs. Joe snorts and studies the warehouseside of the doorknob and lock. Scratched.

JOE (CONT'D)

Yeah, that's what I thought. Last job, my ass.

Joe stomps down the steps.

JOE (CONT'D)

He forgot.

INT. WILL'S WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

Joe, stroking the Mercedes, whistles. Will attempts to arrangehis hands in some sort of natural pose and look nonchalant.

JOE:

She's pretty.

WILL:

I don't think I can unload her.

Joe's head snaps up.

JOE:

Why? What's wrong with her?

WILL:

Long story.

JOE:

Then it'll have to wait --

Joe smacks the bag and beer into Will's numb hands.

JOE (CONT'D)

There're your papers, tags, and plates -- whetheror not you can unload her -- and there's my beer. I gotta talk toa man about a horse.

Joe's on his way, steamrolling right up to that bathroomdoor.

WILL:

Uncle Joe?

Joe's hand's on the doorknob, turning --

JOE:

Yeah?

The door's opening --

WILL:

Nothing.

Emily, sitting on the commode, shoots Joe one wide, fake,frosty smile, and waves at him with her free hand.

JOE:

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

Joe simultaneously leaps up, backward, and slams the door.He stands, hand on knob, thinking for a moment, before turning heavily tothe stairs and starting back up for the living quarters.

INT. WILL'S WAREHOUSE/APARTMENT - NIGHT

Joe's sitting at the table, stone cold still. Will's fillinga coffee pot with water, just as quiet.

JOE:

Get me another beer, Son.

Will gets the beer, pops it open, sets it down beside Joe'sempty. Joe drains it, then sets the can carefully down on the table.

JOE (CONT'D)

Pardon me for intruding in your affairs, Will, butthere is a girl downstairs chained to the commode.

Will nods, pouring water into the coffee maker.

JOE (CONT'D)

Of course, it's nice to see you with a girl, Will.I've been kinda worried about you in the girl department of late.

Will ogles Joe, mouths "In the girl department?" -- coffeesplatters from the coffee machine -- Will jams the pot in place to catchthe stream.

JOE (CONT'D)

But it was somewhat of a surprise.

WILL:

I can see that.

JOE:

I think I'll be heading home now, Will.

Joe stands and heads creakily for the door.

WILL:

Uncle Joe, would you like to know why I have a girlchained up downstairs?

Joe thinks a moment, slowly shakes his head.

JOE:

Nope. Nope. Don't want to know nothing about it.

He's at the front door, opening it, turning.

JOE (CONT'D)

But Will?

WILL:

Yes?

JOE:

Flowers are a good alternative.

Joe closes the door behind him. Will sits at the table,trying to take it all in. The door opens again and Joe sticks his head in.

JOE (CONT'D)

Oh, and Will?

WILL:

Yes?

JOE:

She's a real pretty girl, Will. Your parents would'vebeen proud to know you're seeing such a real pretty girl.

And then he's gone. Will rises slowly and starts closingdown locks -- all keyed from the inside. There's a window running alongsidethe door -- barred, natch, but you can see through the upstairs windows,'cause they aren't painted black.

INT. POLICE CAR (BEHIND WILL'S WAREHOUSE) - NIGHT

The patrolman eyes back entrances to warehouse buildings.They all look pretty much the same in the gloom. The old woman leans forwardand points.

OLD WOMAN:

That's the one.

PATROLMAN:

You sure?

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