Extreme Happiness Page #2

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Oh, really amazing?

That's it.

I'm buying a blue plane

To fly across South America

Your grandfather

is going to play now.

Let's go for a walk, me, you

and the trombone.

- A walk!

- Yes, yes!

Before you catch a cold,

get a cardigan...

go on.

Oh dad, it's too late...

Just going for a walk.

- Well, don't be long huh?

- They won't be long!

We won't be long!

We'll just get smashed.

Cachaa's good forthe soul!

Why are you so sad, darling?

Mom, I think Marcos

is seeing someone.

Surely not.

I think so, mom.

Yes he is.

Grandpa, a flying saucer!

- Where?

- There.

Haven't you ever seen it?

One might down now,

carry us up into the sky.

Yeah...

Just think if one

appeared here...

right now?

A Martian with a

green nose, sharp claws...

spraying us with a red liquid...

like soup.

They'll take over the world!

Yeah, the world will end, Noel.

And as well as mosquitoes,

you'll have to kill Martians too!

Grandpa, let's gaze at the Star?

All right, come on.

The star's so pretty,

isn't it, Grandpa?

It's lovely, Paulinho...

really big.

But look at the sky,

Paulinho, there!

There are millions of stars

like that one.

How come they all

fit in the sky?

Because the sky's infinite.

- What's infinite, Grandpa?

- It's when there's no end.

If you're infinite,

don't you die?

No.

And are we infinite,

Grandpa?

Yeah!

Paulinho, whenever

you want to find me...

- this is our meeting place.

- Deal.

Look, Grandpa!

Here, hold this one.

Here, here's one

I wrote yesterday.

Paulinho, in this house,

everyone's blind.

They had a disease...

the only one who can see

is their mother, Dinorah.

She's a clairvoyant.

Mother, there's a client!

The ophthalmologists

will be here soon.

- Oh, Sofia!

- Dona Dinorah!

- How he's grown!

- Isn't he?

So cute.

Son, you stay here

while mummy goes inside.

Paulinho!

Paulinho! Have you learned

your times tables, Paulinho?

5 times 7?

3 times 3?

Which team do you support...

- Vasco or Flamengo?

- Leave me alone!

- I support Amrica, like my grandpa!

- Paulinho...

- Paulinho...

- Paulinho?

Repeat after me...

Just as St. George

conquered the dragon...

I'll conquer your heart, Marcos.

"Just as St. George

conquered the dragon...

I'll conquer your heart,

Marcos."

I'll conquer.

Hey, hey, hey!

The ballerina.

What ballerina?

She's the one...

Take heed!

- My God, what ballerina?

- The ballerina!

- I love you, let's run away.

- I can't, I'm married.

But it's me you love,

let's go into the world.

But what will happen to him...

I can't leave him like this.

He doesn't deserve you,

it's me you love. I love you.

- Really?

- Yes.

How wonderful!

What's going on?

Are you betraying me?

- No, no, I'm not.

- Yes yes you are!

No, no, no.

- No, no, no!

- Yes, yes, yes!

What's it?

Come here you traitor,

I'm going to kill you!

Come back here,

you traitor!

No please, no, no.

You'll never betray me again!

Your heart belongs to me,

you'll never betray me again!

Oh my!

What's up, baby?

Does it hurt?

Oh the heat, Ben!

I told you, Alfredinho...

she's on heat today.

Yeah, she's not the only one.

What's better today,

sweet or savory?

Depends what you're after...

I'm here to satisfy you, ma'am.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

Come on, girls.

Do you want some?

- I do.

- I wouldn't kick her out of bed...

You guys already been

to second base?

No time to lose.

They're waiting for it.

Or you'll all turn queer.

- Look, nothing but babes.

- Let's see.

- Look this tits.

- Look her legs. Look.

- Look at this...

- Look this one!

That's just kid's stuff.

Ben, dad's a doctor...

I'll go get this dirty

book he's got.

Go on.

Hey Bighead, this book

of your dad's wild.

It's the end of the world.

- My God.

- Show me, show me.

Come on, come one!

- What is it?

- That woman's tits.

Half woman, half cow.

Look, he stuck the

wire up his ass and died.

Poor thing.

That one's got two d*cks!

Silence!

Have some respect!

This music is purity...

chastity.

And your greatest sin

is the solitary vice.

Because each time

you practice it...

millions of human beings

which would've been born...

die in the toilets.

Whoever practices this vice...

kills nations! Like Hitler!

Whole nations killed...

by the solitary vice.

This here is a scrotum.

Not a man's, a bull's...

but it's a scrotum.

This is where

the sperm comes out.

You're laughing, aren't you?

Well I'll tell you a story...

the finest Christian story about...

sex.

It's the story of a boy scout...

- 18 years old, a virgin...

- A baby!

Good-looking, strong...

a really cute boy...

who was in Hawaii.

One afternoon he decided

to take his horse...

and ride out to

a deserted beach.

Later on he wearily laid down...

on the sand to rest...

- and do you know what he saw?

- The horse's dick!

A beautiful Hawaiian girl, dark...

half-naked, a grass skirt...

flower necklaces displaying

her ample breasts.

The girl decided to come over...

and dance the hula.

The father is dancing!

The boy almost

gave in to temptation...

when she showed him

her fleshy red lips.

That was when

the miracle occurred!

The boy gathered

all his strength...

and rode off leaving the

pretty Hawaiian girl behind.

He rode and wept,

rode and wept...

and prayed to the Virgin Mary.

He was stronger,

over came temptation.

That's why

he'll go to heaven...

for all eternity.

Father, didn't you say

God is very good?

God is infinitely good...

omnipotent and omnipresent.

So he knows everything

that's going to happen, right?

Yes.

So why does he create a sinner

who's going to hell?

- That's true!

- Only God knows.

Damn, God's a real bastard!

- Damn! -Respect God's word, boy!

At this rate you'll burn

in hell! In the fire!

My heart awoke

- burning with fire, fire

- Stop that!

A hot brunette

- Silence!

- Passed by

- and that is why

- You'll all...

- My heart awoke

- burn in hell!

- Burning with fire, fire

- What the hell's going on?

Silence! Bunch of rascals!

Have you no shame?

You're all on detention!

Detention!

"Hail Mary, full of grace,

the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou

among women...

and blessed is the fruit

of thy womb, Jesus."

Hey, kid? How come

you got put on detention?

I asked the priest something.

What was it?

God is good and knows

what's going to happen...

That's what they say.

So why did he create sinners

who are going to hell?

Who knows!

Must be God

taking the piss out of us.

But I'll tell you

something, Paulinho...

I'd prefer lots of gods

than just the one.

Why, Grandpa?

If one screws you up,

you can ask another for help.

How terrible!

Wait here.

Blood! Gee!

Is help coming?

Go and see.

Lord!

See?

Right. This way.

I'd like to be there.

Can you image it?

A toast, folks, everyone!

- Hi darling.

- Look at Sofia!

A toast to love...

to many more promotions

in the future.

- A toast...

- To the Brazilian Air Force!

- Viva Brazil!

- Viva!

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