Eyes of the Beholder Page #4

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We're gonna get married!

- What?

- We're gonna get married!

Now?

Mr. Leonard, I think I have

something to tell you.

Congratulations.

You're kidding me.

That's fantastic.

I'm gonna be a father?

Congratulations, Daddy.

Stop.

Please stop.

Stop. Stop.

Please f***ing stop.

Everybody stay back.

Back!

Let me go!

Get off me!

Get off of me!

Yea, though I walk through the valley

the shadow of death...

I will fear no evil...

for He is with me.

Looks like your cigarette lighter's

run out of gas, princess.

Hey, how are you?

- How are you?

- A little car trouble. Can you help me?

I sure think we can

take care of that.

I'm sure every man and his dog

has tried a line on you.

Has anyone ever told you

you have very sad eyes?

Yes, they have, Gary.

Has anyone ever told you

you need a shower?

That's a pretty mean-looking shark

you got there, princess.

It's a fish. Pisces.

Looks like a shark to me.

You like sharks?

I like the myths.

They have a limited memory.

Maybe only a minute or two.

Sounds like a pretty good life to me.

Of course, the down side is...

they can never stop swimming.

Even when they're asleep...

they have to keep moving forward.

'Cause if they stop

for even a moment...

they'll die.

- F*** me dead.

- What?

Nothing. I was just--

I was just saying you could lay

your dentures on my bedside table...

any day of the week, princess.

- What are you talking about?

- Nothing.

Forget it.

Stupid b*tch.

What are you doing

in there, princess?

You haven't started without me,

have you?

Princess is in the middle

of her ablutions.

Fuckwad.

I wish you blue birds in the spring

A little surprise on the dresser

near your purse, princess.

Just for you.

A little dart action, you know?

You see, there's this bar just off

the one-five out of Baker...

where they have these

English dart championships.

And there's this guy.

And I bend over...

to pick up his girlfriend

who's sprawled on the floor...

completely f***ing smashed...

and the f***er hits me in the ass

with this yellow featherweight dart...

right between the cheeks.

Can you believe it?

So what do I do?

I nail him to the bar...

and use his head

for a f***ing dart competition.

What's all this stuff?

Thats just a little something

to get the evening started, darling.

Thanks. I'll pass.

No. No, don't.

Its just for fun.

I don't want to have to blast alone.

It's not my thing.

You go right ahead. I'll watch.

You'll f***ing watch?

Ladies and gentlemen...

step right up

and watch the freak show...

and see for the first time

in this country the amazing pin cushion!

Treat yourself, folks.

treat yourself and watch

the bearded lady...

cut herself to ribbons.

Come on, baby.

Baby fell down.

That's a good baby.

Here we go.

Welcome to heaven, princess.

No milk today, thanks.

Thank you!

Now piss off and mind

your own f***ing business!

Yes?

Don't leave her.

Shes just a little girl.

Don't leave her alone.

I'll never ever leave her.

Ever.

Cross my heart.

Hope to die?

Forever and ever.

Amen.

What the f*** is this?

Jesus Christ!

What the f***?

Get me the f*** out of here.

Motherf***er!

F*** it!

- The car! Where's the f***ing car?

- Morning there, partner.

Sound like you had

a little fun last night.

Where is she?

I said, where is she?

She went north

about a half hour ago.

You gonna pay for them rooms?

- Hil, honey?

- Yeah.

We've got our lost dog.

Better late than never.

Christ.

Ive got two guys in Boston

pulling the place apart.

What the hell are you doing

in Utah?

I've lost the Hugo kid, Hil,

and I need some help.

- Could you put an ASU out on all--

- Weve been trying to tell you.

Hugo and his wife bought it

in a car accident a month ago.

So it's finished. It's over.

You're coming home.

The boss is dead.

Jesus, Ive been worried sick.

How the hell are you surviving?

You know me. Lucky legs.

Could you put an ASU out

on all hospitals for me?

A woman may try to register

under the name--

For God's sake, listen to me.

Listen.

Hugo handed the whole case

over to the Feds months ago.

So it's over. You're coming home,

and that's an order.

Will you do

one last thing for me?

I'm not authorized to.

F*** authorization, Hil.

I'm in trouble here.

A woman may try and register into

hospital under the name Eris or Leonard.

This is an emergency, and the last thing

I need now are the f***ing Feds.

Will you help me, please?

Look, I can't f***

this one up as well.

Please.

I'll see what I can do.

Hello, there.

Hello. Yoo-hoo.

Hello.

- Pardon?

- May I help you?

Yes.

Ive just flown in to visit

a friend of mine, miss Joanna Eris.

Oh, good!

I'm so glad somebody came,

it being Christmas and everything.

She's down the hall in 36...

although she's probably

asleep by now.

You know she lost the baby, dont you?

Who was he?

He didn't say, dear.

But he asked for me by name?

He said Joanna Eris?

Yes.

He said he was a friend.

- What did he look like?

- Like a salesman.

They all look the same to me--

salesmen, reporters, photographers.

They get your names from the registry

and come to sell baby products.

That's a roger.

Will wait till further notice.

Standing by.

Got any change?

Come on!

F***ing come on! Come on!

Buddy, you got a buck?

Miss Eris?

Federal police.

Would you mind coming

with us, please?

- Why?

- We'll explain in the car.

In the car, please.

Two, three.

Morning, Nellie.

- I'm ready when you are, darling.

- Get over it, pal.

It's not gonna happen.

I'd like the omelette

with herbs, please.

- The what?

- Omelette with herbs.

You shouldn't have to ask, Nell.

We're gonna install a bed here for him.

How are you, Frank?

- I'm good, Lizzie.

- Good.

So you come in a lot?

Last couple of weeks. You?

Have you been here long?

I don't know.

Couple months.

Side dishes?

- Taurus?

- Yeah.

- Do you believe in the stars?

- Not anymore.

Pisces reads...

"It may seem you have reached

the end of your road...

but all is about to change.

The sacrifice you are about to make

will become another's salvation."

And then it says,

"You will never be forgotten."

- Do you want some coffee?

- Yes, please.

I'm bustin' at the seams, Frank.

You don't mind sharing, do you?

All done, gentlemen?

- Who gets the check?

- I got it.

Coffee?

- What do you think?

- Can't say for sure.

- Worth a try, though.

- Yeah.

F***ing cops.

What about them?

You can always spot them.

Didn't notice.

I don't know what time youre finished,

but I'm coming back later...

and I wondered if maybe

you would want a drink.

I'm working a double.

Thanks.

Watch the alarm.

Raccoons keep setting them off...

and I sure ain't coming down here

at 4:
00 a.m. to reason with them again.

Night-night.

Night, Frank.

I said, night, Frank.

Night, Lizzie.

I'm in real estate in the valley.

That's why I can help you

get a house.

Getting a house isn't a problem.

It's easy enough.

What do you do in a house...

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