Fading Gigolo Page #2

You're in Brooklyn!

We speak English!

[SPEAKS YIDDISH]

You're not in the old country no more!

This is Brooklyn!

[SHOUTING OVER EACH OTHER]

Miss, could you back?

CHILD:

Mommy, what's wrong?

Who were those guys?

Shabbes goys.

MURRAY:

Hey. Is it my imagination,

or do I know you from someplace?

Have I met you before?

You bought my husband's s'farim.

Exactly. Exactly.

I bought your husband's books.

Of course.

He died two years ago.

Right. A heart attack.

Oh, Jesus.

He was a wonderful rabbi.

A great man.

Hey... hey!

I went to the shiva.

I... he had a wonderful

collection of books.

I knew...

I knew I knew you.

I... what's...

What's the story on his hair?

He's got lice or...

how big is a louse?

The size of a sesame seed.

- You see?

- Oh, Jesus.

You know, I brought gloves.

Because I'm not going

to touch these kids.

- I'm not going to touch it.

- Don't worry.

They don't usually go for men.

I'm going to wear

the gloves anyhow, you know.

The blood. Too acidic.

Hasidic?

[CAR HORNS BLARE]

How do you do?

Hello. Nice to meet you.

These are for you.

How sweet.

What is that?

The arrangement?

It's Japanese.

My friend, Niho,

told me how to make it.

Please come in.

Make yourself at home.

Thank you.

- So...

- It's a beautiful day.

Yes.

Shame to be inside.

We have a balcony.

Nice.

- So you're a doctor.

- Dermatologist.

- You have good skin.

- My mother had good skin.

Even in her 80s, barely a wrinkle.

You couldn't tell her age.

You were close?

Mm-hmm.

That's unusual.

I've never done this before.

- First time.

- Yes.

- Mm-hmm.

- Well...

- I understand.

- Yeah.

- You do this often.

- No. I mean...

So this is kind of a part-time thing.

Yes, you could say that.

I... I think I should...

- Let me get you... you want this?

- Yeah.

- Same, yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

Watch.

I'm married.

Did you know that?

Uh-huh.

Is that your husband?

Claude.

He's a mountain climber.

Huh. A good-looking man.

Yes.

Do you like the music?

I could change it.

No, it's perfect.

- It's instrumental.

- Ah, that's better.

Do you want me

to take my clothes off?

No, no, not yet.

Okay, just... maybe after.

This is so...

high school.

Oh, I, I, I...

- Oh, I...

- [MOANS]

I didn't go all the way

in high school.

It's slow. It's fine.

Relax.

Mortality is a very iffy thing.

I mean, you're here one day,

and then something happens,

and the next day you're gone.

And the world goes on without you.

It's a...

You know...

actually...

when something terrible happens,

you know, like a...

an earthquake, maybe,

or... a pogrom,

I think it's not

a bad idea sometimes

for a person to reach out.

- To a rabbi?

- Sure, a rabbi's good.

A rabbi's good.

But...

I think it's very nice sometimes

to reach out beyond the rabbi.

I mean, something more.

Venture further out.

[DR. PARKER MOANS]

I don't care.

F*** you.

F*** you, Claude!

[DR. PARKER MOANS]

So how long were you up there?

Two hours?

Right. Around.

But I'm not sure I understand you.

Are we charging,

you know, by the hour?

What, you're asking me?

No. What I assumed,

naturally, was that it was,

you know, we be charging per...

you know, per shot.

How many times did you do it with her?

- More than once?

- Mm-hmm.

Really? I'm very impressed.

Viagra?

Oh, no.

I... I don't believe this.

You don't even open the envelope.

- Hey, she's your doctor.

- Yeah, she's my doctor,

but you know, in today's world,

she could turn out to be

a psychopathic ax murderer.

Well, thanks for telling me.

Wait one second. I'm counting.

I... I don't understand this.

Where'd you get the extra 500 bucks?

- Tip.

- A tip?

- She tipped you?

- Yeah.

She must've really liked you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Wow.

You know, I hate to bring this

to your attention,

but the general protocol,

certainly among waitresses

is they'll pool their tips,

and they split them.

- Take two.

- Two.

Perfect.

I think that's appropriate division.

1,500 for you and 1,000 for me.

Very nice day's work, let me tell you.

I... this, you know,

This makes it official.

I'm your ho.

Hey, it's the oldest profession.

Thanks, honey.

You know, I picked out

the fabric myself.

Oh, that's beautiful.

I think I was high on acid

at the time.

Oh, feel it.

It's great.

Yeah, yeah, it's...

Yeah, it's stuffed with

turkey feathers or something.

[BOYS SCREAM]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Wait, calm yourselves.

Oh, a gigolo?

It's in the music business.

They, you know,

there's the music and lyrics...

- Oh yeah.

- And the gigolo parts.

It's me, Fior.

Is Murray home yet?

I can't get through to him.

He hasn't been picking up.

No, no no no.

There's no problem.

All right,

just tell him that I called.

Thanks. Bye.

Waiting for someone?

No.

Would you like some company?

- For how long?

- An hour or two.

Whatever you like.

Le professione

del vechio del mondo.

I don't understand.

I think you do.

Shimshon. How are you?

Good. You going

to play baseball, Dovi?

Yeah.

Go, Twisters.

Tell your mother I said hi.

Okay, I will.

Short men always pursued me.

My brothers, who are really tall,

would get so upset.

"Why can't you find a tall man?"

Like it's easy.

Good skin?

Soft. Silky.

Sense of humor?

Well...

Too much honey,

get away from me.

A man needs to be funny, no?

A man needs to be a man,

not a woman.

Not a pretty boy.

Perfect.

A beautiful son of a b*tch,

He tells you that he loves you,

but he's really

thinking something else.

I don't think we got that far.

So, if this...

does he have a name?

Fioravante.

I like it. Sexy.

Mm-hmm.

So...

If this Fioravante...

was an ice cream cone,

what flavor would you

say that he was?

Pistachio.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Maybe I should try him, hmm?

No? Why not?

Hmm?

Pistachio.

Hey, we're in demand.

Why don't you just announce it?

Yeah, that's a pretty

nice-looking lady.

We got another customer.

Maybe more.

- Really. How?

- Yeah, how?

Word of mouth.

Hi, God bless you, girls.

Keep...

she likes tall guys.

You know, I mean,

you got to see her.

You're not going to believe it.

You can't be blas about this.

She is...

well-constructed, anatomically.

I mean, I'm talking about,

like, a miracle of physics.

I don't know what keeps her up.

Is this Dr. Parker's friend?

Dr. Parker's wealthy friend.

Shh!

Dr. Parker's rich friend.

Do me a favor.

Think of it as a performance.

- Uh-huh.

- You know?

Because that's what they want.

They want you to play act anyhow.

And the billing?

Above the titling.

I'm going to give you

a prepared envelope,

and we'll put something in it.

And then if they give you

a gratuity or something,

I'll give you

a second envelope for that.

I know what you're thinking,

but it seems right to charge.

It doesn't always feel right.

Yeah, only because

you never did it before.

It's like anything else.

A butcher, first day on the job,

he's got to cut up a cow.

There's blood, there's bones.

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