Fallo grosso Page #2

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''Candid Camera'' airs

on a different TV channel.

At least I don't have to pick

her up, she said you will.

I can't, I have told Bruno I

had to go to the gynaecologists.

Please, then. Mrs., make

yourself comfortable.

I'll visit you at once!

They're wet. There must be

something wrong with you.

- Let me see.

- Stop!

You still haven't told me if

I'll present the new program.

- Everything in due time.

- Exactly, now.

Bruno is the director,

I have to ask him.

Who decides, the network

manager or the director?

If the director does, I'll go

back to play the good wifey!

The director doesn't count.

I do, but a tryout is needed!

- I've had enough of playing.

- Me too.

Tennis, at least.

Tennis...

Looks like my husband is discussing

the new programme with you.

That's good to know!

If I'm on a meeting with

him, I can't harass his wife!

Come on, let's go change clothes.

Show me what you can do.

Turn around, get to the window.

Come back.

Kneel down...

Stick out the microphone.

Then? Am I any good?

You're a complete showgirl!

- Then I passed the test!

- Slow down... It's just the beginning!

Stick a finger in my ass!

Then it's true! Directors

are all perverse!

Our bosses gave us that habit.

If they stop f***ing us, we get impotent!

Never let it be!

- You do it all the time, don't you?

- All the time!

That's what the couch is for.

The famous "Producer's Couch".

It's for testing the

talent of the candidates.

- Pig!

- Pig? What are you saying?

It's showbiz, baby!

Marilyn also did it. Do

you know how many girls...

are out there, ready to

steal the job from you?

Come on, get going!

Like that, that's good!

Speak to it!

Apply yourself, applicant!

Apply yourself!

If want to fulfil your aspirations!

The taste of success!

Now it's my turn!

Next season, I want to host

the evening's programme!

Luigi takes such decisions, you know it!

Don't tell me you don't know

how to handle your husband!

I do, but I'm begging

you now! Make me come!

Please, make me come!

- Love, where are you?

- Here, in the kitchen!

Wow, what a surprise! Spaghetti!

Yes, spaghetti "puttanesca"!

I haven't had time for shopping.

No problem, darling!

What did the doctor say?

- The doctor?

- The gynaecologist.

Oh, the gynaecologist! Nothing serious.

He has prescribed me some pills.

I have to see him again next week.

- That's good!

- I have played tennis with Stefania.

Cunning women! They enjoy themselves

while their husbands work!

What's the special occasion?

Your upgrade as a presenter!

Don't tell me! I won't

be an assistant anymore!

Love... I had lost all hope.

But how do you know that?

How do I know?

Well, I was at today's

meeting for the new programme.

Bruno... It's fantastic!

Fantastic, but obvious. You've

worked hard to get there.

You deserved it.

You know what? You're right.

I really deserved it!

- How was your game with Erica?

- Oh, the game...

She's not that good with rackets!

But she's good with microphones!

I thought about letting her host

the new programme in the morning.

- What do you think?

- Why not?

After all, hosts are all the same.

There's also her husband.

I think he's wasted.

Don't you think he would

deserve to be on in the evening?

Well, he's experienced for sure!

- And we'd pay him less than other people.

- And he's a friend too, which isn't bad.

No doubt.

I trust Bruno blindly!

TWO HEARTS IN A HU That's the Mountain Chain of the

Sella and that's the Sasso Lungo,

here's the Val Badia...

What a beautiful view!

- Wonderful!

- Pig!

How you call?

Catarina, madam.

Well, Catarina, we take room.

Now however take off my boots.

As you wish, madam.

Bravo, bravo... Bravo, Catarina.

- Otto!

- Yes!

Stingy!

I am Frauberta. When I call, you come.

I want only you, understand?

As you wish, Frauberta. I'll leave

a message at the reception.

- Wonderful!

- Pig!

How disgusting, Ciro!

It stinks of onion!

Yes... It stinks of onion!

but you know what I'm going

to do my love? I'll perfume it!

Loose woman, aren't you wearing panties?

- Of course, they're out of fashion!

- Out of fashion?

And who said that?

I have learned that from

Frauberta, a new client.

I have seen it in her room

when I took off her boots.

Actually, to tell the truth,

she directly showed it to me.

- For a 300 Euros tip!

- What the hell! 300 Euros?

I swear!

- Are you making fun of me?

- It's true.

It's alright. I believe you, my love.

And don't you like that?

On the contrary, I

really like it. Very much!

How fresh!

Now it's fragrant with p*ssy!

- I wish more clients were like that!

- Indeed, my love!

In a couple of years, we'd

be able to have our own hotel!

Me in the kitchen and you

in the rooms, my love!

Come in!

- You wanted to see me, madam?

- Yes.

- You prepare tub for me.

- Yes, madam.

- And hurry, okay?

- Wonderful!

Good, Catarina. Now you wash my body.

And so she left 500 more Euros!

500 more Euros... wow!

But in change for fornication?

Are you crazy? Frauberta

would never allow that!

She treats him like a dog!

What if she changes her mind?

What do you think? Do

you want our hotel or not?

- Yes or no?

- You're right my love.

As the proverb says: if you want

to find your place in this world,

replace your heart with a toad!

In short you have to be kind.

But not too much, ok? Just a little!

Now, you lick!

You lick! Lick!

It hurt a little, but Flauberta left me

a 1.000 Euros tip this time.

1.000 Euros? My dear God!

And what did

she give to her husband?

- Tell me I was good!

- So and so.

After all, Otto just

entered from the back door!

You were really good!

A few more sacrifices

and we can start thinking

of the name for our hotel!

But don't let the back door

become the garage's front door!

- I thought of the name!

- What is it?

- Two hearts in a hut.

- That's too obvious!

We need something more

original like a trademark.

- Such as?

- Such as...

Two nuts in a butt!

HIGH SPIRITS:

Cover yourself up.

Cover yourself up!

- Cover yourself up!

- Ooh, Ugo. What the hell!

Why didn't you come here naked?

Don't say you don't like

for others to look at me!

Cheeky girl!

I got it:
it's time for the daily fight!

- With you it's always the right time.

- Ugo, what's wrong with you?

- Never mind, okay?

- No, because you'll start again in a while!

Therefore spit it out now and

tell me what's in your mind!

- Malaga.

- Malaga?

- It was before we got married.

- Yes, but we were already engaged.

- Then?

- Then!

You went with all the

clients of the hotel!

- Only those on my floor.

- And the waiters.

You know what I think!

I was on holiday...

You weren't there... If I had gone

with just one man, I would have felt guilty.

It would have been betrayal!

With so many instead...

They just made my spirits high!

- You made a cuckold of me!

- I would have, had I not told you.

But I've always told you everything.

It's not true, you didn't

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