Fame Page #5

It's the most painful memory

I can think of.

He didn't say the most painful.

He just said painful.

- We're supposed to expose ourselves.

- Imagine what Ralph Garci will say.

A pie in the face comes with the job.

That's what my mom says. She knows.

I don't get it.

A real artist must never be afraid of

what other people will say about him.

It was a time when I realized

something about myself.

- Maybe you didn't realize it right.

- What do you mean?

Well, I mean, everybody falls in love

with their analyst.

There's a word for that, isn't there?

Homosexual.

That's my music.

That lunatic stole my tape.

Wow, that's me.

That's my son's music!

My son Bruno. Bruno Martelli!

He wrote the music.

Today, 46th Street...

...tomorrow, Madison Square Garden.

- Papa. Papa.

- Bruno!

What are you doing?

You've lost your mind. You're crazy.

Those tapes aren't ready.

Look at the people.

They don't know it's not ready.

Look at it, they like it!

Bruno, they like it! Bruno!

Hey, yo!

Move your f***ing parade!

What do you think this is, 5th Avenue?

Back it up!

I'll get your ass, buddy!

Who do you think you are?

You're next, you hear me?

Get away from there.

What are you doing?

How do you like that?

Pick that up, you son of a b*tch!

I thought I was just

going through a stage.

That's what everyone told me.

And it never

worried me when I was 10.

Except they told me the same thing

at 12 and 14.

So finally, my analyst

leveled with me.

He said it was probably a life choice.

It's funny.

"Gay" used to mean

such a happy kind of word once.

Not that it bothers me.

I'm pretty well-adjusted, really.

I mean...

...never being happy...

...isn't the same as being unhappy.

Is it?

Dr. Golden explains it real well.

He explains everything well.

I've had a lot of help.

Hey, Doris, you wanna go to

The Rocky Horror Show tomorrow night?

That sounds great.

It starts at midnight, so you better

check it out with your mom.

Calling Montgomery MacNeil.

Oh, Montgomery.

I suppose that a f***

is out of the question?

There he is, Ralph Garci,

right on the button.

Nice.

- Get off!

- I warned you this would happen.

- It's your case, man. I don't give a f***.

- It's a joke. It just came out.

- Like me.

Yeah. Hey, Doris, listen,

I meant to tell you.

There's an open call for a movie

at the Diplomat Hotel.

- Oh, yeah?

- They're looking for your type.

- What's my type?

- You know, your type.

- Irishy, Jewishy, paranoid.

- What's the name of this movie?

- / Was a Teenage Fag Hag.

- You sh*t!

Stop it!

I never knew it would

be like this, Doris.

Oh, come closer, sweetheart.

Oh, my, such embrace.

The Silbermans know

some very important people.

They really have connections.

They're mishpoche with Soupy Sales.

Oh, listen.

Your nice white blouse is ironed.

Or you could wear your pink dress

with the ribbons.

- You look so pretty in that.

- I hate that pink dress.

- So don't wear your pink dress.

- I'm not going, Mama!

- Then gargle.

- I'm going out to dinner!

- It's a catered affair.

- It's not the food!

This is an opportunity to perform.

- Take advantage of it.

- I promised Montgomery!

Well, I promised the Silbermans!

It's a party, Doris.

They need a singer.

And you, you need exposure.

So you're going.

I'm not!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Sidney

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Sidney

Happy birthday to you

Very good, Doris.

What did you realize about yourself?

I don't like birthday parties.

Or pink dresses.

Or the Silbermans. Or Brooklyn.

Or even being Jewish.

I mean, it's not bad...

...but it's not all I am.

I don't know who I am,

and I never will if I don't assert myself.

I'm 16 years old.

I've got to assert myself sometime.

Don't I?

Okay, Doris. Ralph?

I was coming home from

school one day.

As usual.

I had a couple of pieces of business

to attend to in the neighborhood.

It was January.

It was snowing like crazy.

Santa Claus just ripped

everybody off.

He split for Toy Town or Igloo City...

...or the North Pole

or wherever the hell he goes.

So anyway...

I was going home, and...

I found this note.

It said my two chicks were in church.

What the hell are my two chicks

doing in church?

Somebody die or something?

That was... That was a joke.

That was supposed to be a joke.

Anyway, I went home.

I dropped a little incense like

I always do, just to unwind a little bit.

And I put on the TV set.

And there was

this guy on the TV.

And he was talking

about Freddie.

He... He said that...

He said that Freddie Prinze

put a gun to his head...

...and he killed himself.

You know, it was an accident, man.

Sh*t, I mean, he was f***ing...

He was very gifted.

You always laughed at him

because he was very f***ing talented.

And sometimes you didn't even

wanna laugh at him...

...and you laughed at him anyway.

But those motherfuckers...

...they had to say that

he was depressed...

...and he was suicidal,

and that he was f***ed up.

They wanted his f***ing ass, man.

They wanted to nail his ass.

Because he didn't think living

was such a happy trip, you know?

We can't have happy people

walking on this planet.

Everybody's gotta be

so goddamn serious.

Everyone's gotta stay in business...

...and suffer so the witch doctors

and the deodorant-spray people...

...and plastic surgeons

could stay in business.

And we can all go f***ing pray

to the a**hole God up there...

...that f***ed it up

in the first place!

Does all this make you

realize anything about yourself?

- What?

- How does it affect you?

How does it affect me?

I'm here,

and I'm in this f***ing school.

And I'm f***ing everybody back

for Freddie!

Take it easy, Ralph.

You want them laughing

with you, not at you.

I don't want them laughing.

Leroy?

Ma'am?

What are you wearing, Leroy?

- A hat.

- On your feet, Leroy.

Oh, those. You like them? They get me

to class quicker, get more learning in.

- What about your book report?

- I done it.

- You did it.

- 1000 words. I counted them too.

- The Best of Playboy isn't a book report.

- It's reading, ain't it?

So is 1984, Huckleberry Finn,

Great Expectations. You heard of those?

I seen a couple of the movies.

If you don't read,

you're missing so much.

- I don't like reading. It's not my style.

- Then try Othello. He's black.

- 1000 words in two weeks.

- Or what?

Or you'll skate right out of

this school, Mr. Johnson.

Come in.

Miss Berg, you wanted to see me?

- Come and sit down, Lisa.

You're not working hard enough, Lisa.

Well, I've been sick.

Dancers don't get sick.

Well, my doctor told me...

...to take it easy

for a week or two until I feel okay.

- So now it's the doctor's fault?

- Don't you believe me?

I believe you, Lisa.

But I don't have room

for you in this class anymore.

But I brought a doctor's note.

There are too many other girls

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