Fanboys
When we're winning
We'll be singing
I get knocked down
but I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
I get knocked down
but I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
I get knocked down
but I get up again
You're never gonna
keep me down
I get knocked down
Halloween just got awesome, b*tches!
Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.
Give yourself to the Dark Side.
It's the only way you can save-
You wore the same thing last year.
- You son of a b*tch.
- I'm sorry, guys. My codpiece is killing me.
It's totally restricting my junk.
You're gonna spill it or fill it, dude?
Zoe.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. It's been a long time.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You are...
something with tampons.
I'm Picasso's Blue Period.
- Get it? Blue Period.
- Hmm.
And you are?
Corporate sleaze?
Car salesman.
I came straight from work, so this is-
- Weak as usual, Bottler.
- Thank you.
Are you here
for a reunion with the boys?
Nope. That's just a pleasant surprise.
Watch the cape, uh, uh-
Well, enter at your own risk.
Oh, my God.
You guys have both got to stop
perpetuating this myth...
that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass.
All right? He has a jet pack.
So did the Rocketeer.
- Really cool.
- Here we go.
When it comes time for battle, the man's
Michael Bay- all style, no substance.
If you diss the Fett again...
I will corn-hole you with a light saber!
Whoop, there it is
- Jesus. Is that Bottler?
- Whoop, there it is
- Hey, guys.
- Whoop, there it is
Whoop, there it is
You got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here.
Give Daddy a huggy.
- Yeah!
- Stop.
You little bastard, I missed you.
I hope that's just your blaster poking me.
- God, it's been parsecs.
- Yeah, it's good to see you too, man.
- Linus.
- Hmm.
- It's been, like, a year now, right?
- Three.
- You still drawing?
- No. I bailed on that sh*t after high school.
- How's life in the auto trade?
- Still second in command to the old man.
Um, you?
Comic book store's still afloat...
but the geeks aren't biting
like the old days.
- You?
- Get my money together so I can
start my detailing business.
I'm gonna call it the Hutch Touch.
That's funny. I could've sworn you were
delivering pizza and living in your mom's garage.
It's not a garage.
It's a carriage house.
Carriage house.
- How is your carriage?
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Hey, uh, have any of you guys
seen the phone jack?
Uh, no, but I have seen
the social retard...
who brought his Toughbook to a party.
I'd write her back tonight.
- Oh, God.
- She is my girlfriend.
- On-line girlfriend.
I met her in a Jedi chat room.
The woman is perfect.
She's intelligent and acerbic and, uh-
and a die-hard fan.
She's even got connections
inside the Lucas camp.
Who's also got
a man package and a goatee.
You guys are all just jealous
because she describes herself...
as a cross between
Sarah Michelle Gellar...
- and Janeane Garofalo.
Tell 'em how you described yourself.
I was perfectly honest with her.
- You said you looked like
You called yourself white chocolate.
I am white chocolate.
Oh, oh! Windows, it's my turn.
- Give it to me.
- Midnight. Another day down.
Ah! Okay.
Official Episode I countdown...
is six months, 12 days,
eight hours and some change.
I would sell my soul to see
that movie right here right now.
Dude, I would sell my left nut.
And I only have the one nut.
- So you see how serious I am?
- I cannot listen to this sh*t
for another six months.
Oh, shush your mouth, woman.
You know, we could see the movie.
- Oh, please, not this again.
- Oh, yes, please, this again.
"Tell us about
the rabbits, George. George."
Imagine.
Okay?
We drive across the country in one night.
We break into the Skywalker Ranch...
- Yeah!
You guys have been talking about this
since the fifth grade, okay?
- It's not gonna happen.
- Why the hell not?
Well, first of all, it's 2,000 miles away.
Second of all, even if you could get there,
you'd be arrested.
It's been a blast, Bottler.
Way to douche up the party.
Nothing is impossible.
And I'll guarantee I'll find you a new
or used car, or my name isn't Big Chuck.
- Right, girls?
- Ooh-hoo!
Hoo!
Yeah!
All right!
Attaboy, Eric.
Now, see, that's some slick advertising.
Thanks, Pop.
Reminds me of, what, that
Terry Bruckheimer movies.
Yeah. Top Gun.
- Thanks.
- Hiya, Eric.
I'll handle this, Myron.
Thanks.
- Hey.
- We're in the market for some used droids.
with a new set of wheels first...
unless you're cool riding
around in the same rusted old sh*t box...
you've had since the 10th grade.
Hey, hey, hey!
She may not look like much,
but she's got it where it counts.
Uh, why are you guys here?
Do you wanna look around the lot a little bit,
drive something? What?
No. Uh, we came to talk about Linus.
Well, he just needs to realize
that people lose touch.
- That's just kind of the way things work.
- He's dying, Eric.
- What?
- He's got cancer, man.
He's tried everything to get better,
Odds say three, four months maybe.
And you guys are telling me this now?
We wanted to tell you
months ago, honestly...
but Linus made us promise
not to say anything.
The way we see it, you guys have been
best friends since, like, first grade.
So we figured you got the right to know.
You got the right to make your peace.
How am I supposed to make my peace
when the guy doesn't even want me to know?
With all due respect, Eric,
this isn't about you.
- I-You know what?
- Holy sh*t.
- Jesus Christ.
- If it ain't C-3Penis Face and R2-D*ckhead.
What did you just say, you giant bastard?
- Well, well put.
- Thank you.
- Still see you're driving the nerd-mobile.
- Chaz, you're an idiot.
Hey, you know what? While you're out here
sticking G.I. Joes up your butt...
I convinced Dad to let me
recut the commercial.
So suck it. Huh?
Aw, see, you flinched.
That's gonna be two, Princess Leia.
Nanu-nanu.
Get a haircut.
when we had the chance.
- Yeah.
to the carriage house later. So are you.
Bye, Eric.
No lightning! No lightning!
- Aw, sh*t. I'm a midget.
- I'm gonna flatten your ass right now.
Ah!
Suck it, Count Fagula.
Wow!
- There's no teaming up.
That's a rule!
-
Owl Head cramp!
Don't kill me.
- Hey.
- Donkey balls.
You made it, man.
Your mom said clean up this sh*t-hole
or no grilled cheese for a week?
That's emotional blackmail,
and you know it!
- Screw you!
- I will sue you! Renter's rights!
- You don't pay rent!
- Damn. Damn!
- What the hell is he doing here, man?
- It was Hutch's idea.
Grab a controller.
We're ganging up on Windows in Mario Kart.
I can't.
I came to talk to Linus actually.
Can I talk to you alone, man?
Linus. Hey, stop walking.
Linus! Hold up, man.
- Stop. What the hell, man?
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"Fanboys" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fanboys_7991>.
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