Fargo Page #2

So I thought maybe you'd know

an alternate number.

- Nope.

- OK.

Well, real good, then.

Can you crack

a f***in' window open, man?

You know, its proven second-hand smoke

is a carcino... You know, a cancer agent.

Look at that - Twin Cities.

Thats the IDS building, the big glass one.

The tallest skyscraper in the Midwest,

after the Sears in Chicago,

or John Hancock Building, whatever.

Have you ever been to Minneapolis?

Nope.

Would it kill you to say something?

- I did.

- "No"?

Thats the first thing you've said

in the last four hours.

Thats a fountain

of conversation, man. Thats a geyser.

I mean, whoa, daddy. Stand back, man.

Sh*t.

I'm sittin' here drivin' - I'm doin' all the

drivin', whole f***in' way from Brainerd -

just tryin' to chat, you know, keep our

spirits up, fight the boredom of the road,

and you can't say one f***in' thing

just in the way of conversation?

Oh, f*** it. I don't have to talk either, man.

See how you like it.

Just total f***in' silence.

Two can play at that game, smart guy.

We'll just see how you like it.

Total silence.

Mr Lundegaard, this is Reilly Diefenbach

from GMAC. How are you this morning?

- Real good. How you doin'?

- Good. You're hard to get on the phone.

Yah, its pretty darn busy here,

but thats the way we like it.

Thats for sure. Now, I just need, on these

last financing documents you sent us,

I can't read the serial numbers.

Yah, but its OK. The loans are in place.

I already got the... What?

- $320,000. You got the money last month.

- Yah. So we're all set, then.

Yes, but the vehicles you're borrowing on,

I can't read the serial numbers. If you...

- But the deal's done. I got the money.

- Yes. We have an audit here.

I just have to know that these vehicles

you're financing with this money exist.

- Yah, well, they exist all right.

- Well, I'm sure they do.

But I can't read the serial numbers,

so if you could read me...

Yah, but, see... I don't have 'em in front

of me. Why don't I fax you over a copy?

Fax is no good. Thats what I have,

and I can't read the darn thing...

Yah, OK. I'll have my girl

send you a copy, then.

OK. Because if I can't correlate this note

with the vehicles, I call back that money.

- Yah. How much money was that?

- $320,000.

I gotta correlate that money

with the cars its being lent on.

- OK. No problem. I'll fax that over...

- No, no. Fax is...

- I mean send it. I'll shoot it over to you.

- OK, fine.

OK. Real good, then.

- We're with Katie Carlson.

- Hi.

Now, we just want to remind

all of our viewers at home

that this March, for the second year in

a row, Katie and I, with Twin City Travel,

will be leading

a two-week trip down the Nile.

Its a terrific time. I know you've heard

about it. We want all of you to come with.

And thats the truth.

OK, for those who've just joined us,

Katie is gonna show us

how to make Holidazzle eggs at home.

- Now, Katie, I gotta admit.

- What?

I was a little bit surprised when I first

picked this up. This is an empty egg.

- Thats right, Dale.

- There was an egg in here, right?

- Yeah.

- OK, well, how do you...

You don't have an empty chicken

somewhere that lays empty eggs?

No, no. I guarantee this was

an honest-to-goodness Grade A...

- Unguent.

- What?

I need unguent.

- Am I doin' it?

- Push it.

Sh*t.

- How're you, Stan? How ya doin', Wade?

- Good to see you again, Jerry.

If the numbers are right,

this looks pretty sweet.

- Oh, those numbers are right, all right.

- This is doable.

- Congratulations, Jer.

- Thanks, Stan. Its a pretty...

What kind of finder's fee

were you looking for?

The financials are pretty thorough, so

the only thing we don't know is your fee.

My fee? Wade, what the heck

are you talkin' about?

- Stan and I are OK.

- Yah.

- We're good to load in.

- Yah.

But we never talked about your fee

for bringing it to us.

No, Wade, I was bringing you this deal

for you to loan me the money to put in.

Its my deal here, see.

We thought you were

bringing us an investment.

- Yah. Right.

- You're sayin'... What are you sayin'?

You're saying we put in all the money

and you collect when it pays off.

No, no, see, but I'd pay you back

the principal, and interest.

- Heck, I'd go one over prime.

- We're not a bank, Jerry.

If I wanted bank interest on $750,000, I'd

go to Midwest Federal, talk to Bill Diehl.

- He's at Norstar.

- He's at...

No, no. But, see,

I don't need a finder's fee.

I need...

Finder's fee's, what, 10%? Heck, thats not

gonna do it for me. I need the principal.

- We're not gonna give you $750,000.

- What the heck were you thinking?

If I'm only getting bank interest,

I want complete security. Heck, FDIC.

- I don't see nothing like that here.

- Yeah, but I...

OK. I'd guarantee you your money back.

I'm not talking about

your damn word, Jerry.

- Jeez, what the heck are you...

- We're not a bank, Jerry.

Well, look, I don't wanna cut you out

of the loop, but this here's a good deal.

I assume if you're not interested,

you won't mind if we move on it.

Independently.

Dammit! Dammit!

Hon?

Got the groceries.

Yah, Wade, its Jerry.

I...

Wade, its Jerry.

I don't know what to do. Its Jean.

I don't know what to do. Its my wife.

I don't know what to do. Its Jean.

Yeah, Wade, its Jerry. I...

Wade, its Jerry. I... We gotta talk.

Its somethin'... Aw, jeez, its terrible.

Yes?

Yeah. Wade Gustafson, please.

Shut the f*** up, or I'll throw you

back into the trunk, you know.

Jeez, thats more than

I've heard you say all week.

Ah, sh*t.

Oh, the tags.

All right, its just the tags.

I never put my tags on the car.

Don't worry. I'll take care of this.

Keep it still back there, lady, or else

we're gonna have to, you know, shoot ya.

Hey, I'll take care of this.

How can I help you, Officer?

- This a new car, then, sir?

- Certainly is, Officer. Still got that smell.

You're required to display temporary tags,

either in the plate area

or taped to the back window.

- Certainly.

- Can I see your licence and registration?

Certainly.

Yeah, I was gonna tape up the tag,

you know, to be in full compliance,

but it must've...

It must've slipped my mind.

So maybe the best thing to do would be

to take care of that right here in Brainerd.

- Whats this, sir?

- My licence and registration.

Yeah, I wanna be in compliance.

I was just thinking we could

take care of it right here, in Brainerd.

Put that back in your pocket, please.

And step out of the car, please, sir.

Shut the f*** up!

Whoa.

Whoa, daddy.

You'll take care of it.

You are smooth smooth, you know.

Oh, daddy.

Just clear him off the road.

Yeah.

Oh, jeez.

Hi, its Marge.

Oh, my. Where?

Yah.

Aw, jeez.

OK, there in a jiff.

Real good, then.

OK.

You can sleep. Its early yet.

- Gotta go?

- Yeah.

I'll fix you some eggs.

Thats OK, hon. I gotta run.

You gotta eat a breakfast, Marge.

I'll fix you some eggs.

Oh, hon, you can sleep.

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