Fargo Page #5

- Mr Lundegaard?

- Yeah.

- Could I take a minute of your time here?

- What is it all about?

D'you mind if I sit down?

Carrying quite a load here.

- You're the owner here, Mr Lundegaard?

- No, I... Executive sales manager.

- You can help me. I'm Marge Gunderson.

- My father-in-law is the owner.

Well, I'm a police officer from up

Brainerd investigating some malfeasance.

I was wondering if you'd had any vehicles

stolen off the lot in the past two weeks.

Specifically, a tan-coloured Ciera.

Mr Lundegaard?

Brainerd?

Yah, yah. Home of Paul Bunyan,

Babe the Blue Ox.

Babe the Blue Ox.

Yeah, you know,

we got that big statue up there.

So, you haven't had any vehicles

go missing, then?

No. No, ma'am.

Okey-dokey, thanks a bunch. I'll let you

get back to your paperwork, then.

- Yah, get me Shep.

- He's not here right now.

- What the heck d'you mean?

- He stepped out.

- Where did he go?

- I'll get Arty.

No, I don't need a mechanic.

I need a...

Aw, jeez. I gotta talk to a friend of his.

So have him...

- What?

- Aw, jeez.

Mike?

Marge?

Jeez!

- Oh, you look great.

- Yeah, so do you.

Oh, easy there, easy there.

Easy there, easy there.

You do, too. I'm expecting.

Oh, I see that. Thats great.

- Oh, what can I get ya?

- Oh, just a Diet Coke, please.

- OK.

- Great.

- This is a nice place.

- Yah.

You know, its a Radisson,

so its pretty good. Yah.

So...

- You're living in Edina, then?

- Yah, yah, yah. A couple of years now.

Its actually Eden Prairie,

that school district.

So, Chief Gunderson, then!

So, you married

Norm son-of-a-Gunderson.

- Oh, yah. Long time ago.

- Great. Great.

So, what brings you down...

Are you down here on that homicide,

if you're allowed to discuss that?

Oh, yah, yah. But there's not

a heck of a lot to discuss.

Well, what about you, Mike?

Are you married? You got kids?

Yah, yah. Well...

I was married. I was married to...

You mind if I sit over here?

- I was married to Linda Cooksey.

- No, why not sit over there? I prefer that.

- Sorry.

- Oh, no, no. Just so I can see ya.

- Don't have to turn my neck.

- Oh, sure, sure. I understand.

- I didn't mean to...

- No, no.

Thats fine.

Yah. Sorry. Sorry.

So, I was married to Linda Cooksey. You

remember her. She was a year behind us.

Yeah, I think I remember her.

Yeah. She... Oh, yeah, yeah.

So it didn't work out, huh?

And then I've been working

for Honeywell for a few years now.

- Oh, well, they're a good outfit.

- If you're an engineer, you can do worse.

But its not...

Its nothing like your achievement.

Oh, well, it sounds like

you're doing really super.

Its not that things didn't work out.

Its...

Linda had leukaemia, you know.

She was a... She passed away.

No!

- It was tough.

- There you go.

It was long...

She fought real hard, Marge.

What can you say?

Oh. Better times, huh?

Better times.

Oh, and then I saw ya on the TV

and I remembered, you know,

I always liked you.

- Well, I always liked you, Mike.

- I always liked you so much.

So, Mike, should we

get together another time?

No! I... I...

I'm sorry. Its...

I shouldn't have done this.

I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't.

- I thought we'd have a really terrific time.

- Its OK, Mike.

You were such a super lady.

And then... I've been so Ionely.

Its OK, Mike.

Here's a song I dedicate

to all the ladies out here tonight.

It goes like this.

So, are you from around here?

Just in town on business.

Just in and out.

Just a little of the old "in and out".

What do you do?

Have you been to the Celebrity Room

before with other clients?

I don't think so. Its nice.

Yeah, well, it depends on the artist.

You know, Jose Feliciano,

you got no complaints.

Waiter.

Is he deaf?

So, how long you work for

the escort service?

I don't know. A few months.

Find that work interesting, do you?

What are you talkin' about?

All right.

Come on. I'm hearing bells.

Come on, huh?

All right. Where were ya?

Shep, what the hell you doin'?

I'm bangin' that girl. Ow!

F***ing a**hole! Get the f*** outta here!

Put me back in Stillwater, you little

f***ing shithead. Get the f*** outta here!

Yo! Cut that sh*t out, man. I'm trying

to get some goddamn sleep here.

- Come on, brother.

- F*** you.

- F*** you.

- Animals!

- Animals! Animals!

- Stay away from me, man.

Hey, smoke a f***ing peace pipe!

Wait! Don't you dare f***ing hit me!

- F***ing little weasel. F*** you, man.

- Stop it!

You f***ing, motheftucking,

son-of-a-bitching, f***ing cock!

Jesus Christ!

You f***ing shitbag motheftucker!

- Yah?

- Jerry, I'm through f***ing around.

- You got the f***ing money?

- Yah, I got the money, but...

Don't you f***ing "but" me! Meet me

at the Radisson parking ramp, 30 minutes,

- and we wrap this thing up.

- OK, but...

You're there in 30 minutes or I shoot you,

your f***ing wife and all your children.

And I shoot 'em in the back of their heads.

- OK, you stay away from Scotty now.

- Got it?

OK. Real good, then.

Dad?

- Its OK, Scotty.

- Where you goin'?

I'll be back in a minute.

If Stan calls, you just tell him

I went to Embers.

OK. Here's your damn money.

Now where's my daughter?

You...

You goddamn punk!

Who the f*** are you?

Who the f*** are you?

I've got your damn money.

Where's my daughter?

I am through f***ing around.

Drop that f***ing briefcase!

- Where's my daughter?

- F*** you, man! Where's Jerry?

I gave simple f***ing instructions!

Where's my damn daughter?

No Jean, no money.

- Drop that f***ing money!

- No Jean, no money!

Is this a f***ing joke here?

Jeez.

You happy now, a**hole?

Whats with you people?

You f***ing imbeciles.

You f***ing shot me!

May I have your ticket, please?

Open the f***ing gate!

Oh, jeez.

- Dad?

- Yah?

Stan Grossman called.

- Yeah, OK.

- Twice.

Is everything OK?

Yah.

Are you callin' Stan?

Well, I'm...

I'm going to bed now.

- How ya doin'?

- Mr Mohra?

- Yah.

- Officer Olson.

Yah. Righto.

Well, so I'm tendin' bar down there

at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday.

This little guy's drinkin' and he says

"Where can a guy find some action?"

"I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake."

I says "What kind of action?" He says

"Woman action. What do I look like?"

And I says "What do I look like?

I don't arrange that kind of thing."

He says "I'm goin' crazy at the lake." And

I says "But this ain't that kind of place."

He says "Oh, I get it.

So you think I'm a jerk for askin'?"

Only he don't use the word "jerk".

Then he calls me a jerk.

Says the last guy who thought he was

a jerk is dead now, so I don't say nothin'.

He says "What d'you think of that?" I says

"Don't sound like a good deal for him."

- You got that right!

- Says "Guy's dead, and not of old age."

Then he says "Jeez,

I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake."

White Bear Lake?

Ecklund and Swedlin's closer to

Moose Lake, so I made that assumption.

Anyway, he's drinkin' at the bar,

so I don't think a great deal of it.

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