Fart: A Documentary
- TV-PG
- Year:
- 2016
- 74 min
- 248 Views
( farting )
Uh, Dad say,
"No more farts! "
When she farts,
it's always funny
Even if it smells
When I fart,
it's only sometimes funny
Depending on
a lot of factors
But when the dog farts,
it can be hilarious
To downright
goddamn dangerous
That air is toxic
Better hold your breath
Dog farts
How unfortunate, oh
Dog farts
Someone open a window
Dog farts
I think
he woke himself up
With that one
I thought, at last!
Somebody's making a film
about farting.
That's been
a long time coming.
I have to say at first when you
said that you were gonna do
a documentary on farting,
and I thought,
- Oh, my. Yeah.
- Who's gonna want
to watch that?
"How can I be a part of this?"
Dog farts
How can a creature
so little
- Dog farts
- Make a smell so huge?
Because it's-- it's
a very interesting subject
and-- and underexplored,
and it's worthy
of closer attention.
- ( farting )
I'm now going to warm up--
warm up my sphincter myself
with a bit
of classical music.
Man:
My name is--
Do you want
my real name, or both names?
Real name
is Paul Oldfield.
But my alter ego,
because like any superhero
I need an alter ego
when I perform
my superhuman abilities.
- ( farting )
- Man:
Oh!So I metamorphasize
into Mr. Methane.
Male interviewer:
How-- how do you--
how do you prepare yourself
before you perform?
Um, I've been upstairs
in the dressing room
doing lots of stretches
and warm-ups.
- Okay.
- So, I've been tensing
using abdominals
so we're now fully relaxed.
- Okay, I see.
- So, uh...
They say in Spain and Brazil,
Seor Matano.
Okay, so, uh--
uh, what kind of activity
are we gonna see first?
First of all,
I've got a little bit
of fine talcum powder
and I'm going to sprinkle
a little bit on my bottom
that I am breaking wind.
- Okay, so it's not a fake.
- That's exactly--
Because obviously people
sat at home...
- Uh...
- These...
- Yeah.
These-- these--
these people over here,
they've got what we call
"ringside seats."
- Yeah.
- ( laughing )
Okay.
Okay.
A little bit of talcum
on the bottom.
There we go.
- Like that.
- Okay.
Is it--
I haven't got a
rearview mirror.
- Is the, um...
- It looks very nice.
Is it well-covered?
- Okay.
- Yes, it's fantastic.
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
In Australia,
I-- down under,
I hold the record
for the most amount
of complaints
to a television show.
From five...
Five,
All:
Four, three, two, one.
All right!
Very good.
Can you guess
where this comes from?
( farting )
Mr. Methane.com
Obviously,
there is a Mr. Methane
website out there.
'Cause, if you're not
on the web now,
well, that's it.
- You're not in business.
- ( farting )
So, you know,
I've got a website,
Mr. Methane.com
Mr. Methane.com
( farting )
Male announcer:
The world's windiest website.
( farting )
Man:
Lovely. Lovely.
My background
field is actually
American literature.
But I developed
an interest in American humor.
I run the creative writing
program here.
And I teach a module
on how to write humor.
Farting,
I happen to know,
features throughout
the history of humor.
I mean, I did a project
a few years back where
I went in search
of the oldest joke
in the world.
Um, we-- well,
you can't actually find the
oldest joke in the world
but the oldest joke
that I could find--
in other words,
the oldest one-liner,
if you like,
is actually a fart joke.
( wind blowing )
( chattering )
Man:
Jim Dawson is my name,
and I write books.
mainly non-fiction books.
Well, farting
was, it was--
it was a fairly
unexplored topic
back in 1997 and '98
when I wrote,
"Who Cut The Cheese?"
- Cut it!
- Who cut the cheese?
And when I pitched
it to my agent,
he-- he was extremely
happy to state,
he says, "I think
we can sell this book."
It seems to be,
as far his humorous potential,
it seems to be fair
the ubiquitous, I think,
across cultures
and throughout history.
And so,
is a fart joke
and fart jokes
are featured in jest books
throughout the ages.
And I'll tell you that joke
if you want to hear it.
Female interviewer:
Yeah, I do. I want
to hear it.
It's not...
- Don't expect too much of it.
- No, it's 4,000 years old.
It's all the-- exactly,
and it's the-- like all humor,
it's context dependent,
I suppose.
But it goes,
"Something that's never been
known since time immemorial
is a young lady
who didn't break wind
in her husband's embrace."
- Now, you're not
laughing, are you?
- No.
That's usually
the response I get to that.
Well first of all,
there's the sound of it.
( farting )
Or the sounds
- ( farting )
- ...that come out of it.
- ( farting )
- Oh!
Woman:
Yeah, because--
Or it's 'cause that they
produce an embarrassing noise.
- ( fart )
- Man:
Many people...Woman:
Try to hide.
( farting )
( laughter )
Ah,
this is awesome!
All right. Here--
here we go. Here we go.
Here.
( rock skipping,
ricocheting)
Woman:
Wow.
( ricochet
sound continues )
- ( farts )
( chattering )
When would you like to start
discussing the said subject?
( chuckles )
The camptown ladies
sing that song
( fart, fart,
fart, fart )
No, it is not.
You fart anywhere.
You fart anywhere.
In front of everybody.
The camptown racetrack's
five miles long
( farting )
I should be able to fart
anytime I want.
For God's sake.
- Gonna run all night
- ( farts )
- Gonna run all day
- (farts )
Well, I suppose
you don't expect women
to fart, do you?
Of course. We have
the same pipe works as you do.
I'll bet my money
on the bobtail hag
( fart, fart,
fart, fart )
So what about, um,
in the states,
to-- to farting?
Woman:
Some of it's
gonna come back up.
Woman #2:
...And once it gets
to the stomach,
Woman:
It-- from the production
of changing
your food to poop.
Man:
Have you ever heard
of anybody
- lighting a belch?
- ( laughs )
Well, that's because
it doesn't-
Seriously,
it's two different gases.
Lighting a belch.
Probably wasn't funny
for the first caveman
that farted on the fire.
( laughing )
I'm just saying.
( farting )
Steve Baxter:
Anyway, going back to
the basis of farting,
it's-- it's a--
a metabolic process.
Quite natural.
So why do people
find it obnoxious?
- Well, the thing is--
- It's rude!
it's a bit
like smoking, isn't it?
When you smoke,
And when you fart,
No, I think it's a problem
of education.
Just people,
society has established
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Fart: A Documentary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/fart:_a_documentary_8025>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In