Fast Company Page #4

All right, what's with

the last-minute driver switch?

I thought I'd try something

slow and casual for a change.

Ahh. You think I'm racing

for trophies, man?

I dont like losing funny car points

to a fueler pilot.

is that why you tried

to burn me down?

Yeah, thats right.

I take it whatever way I can get it.

I have to.

I dont have oil barons

paying my way.

Yeah, and you never will have

if you keep running that slow.

It just aint fair.

Huh?

It just aint fair.

You dont tear a car

out from under a guy like that.

Damn right!

[Elder]

Shh.

I mean, I do all the work.

I run all the qualifiers.

Then, bang! I'm out, hes in,

and he gets all the goddamn glory.

Aw, look, Billy,

Were all in this together.

Oh, listen-

it's a team effort.

Only thing you gotta remember is,

it's Lonnie's team.

Damn right!

You be quiet.

I can get another ride, you know.

Wouldnt be no problem for me.

Just like that. No problem.

You could.

Maybe you oughta.

I told you, be quiet!

You lookee here, Billy.

Lonnie's a pioneer.

You know what that means?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hmm?

That means that he was driving

while they was still running on gas.

There wasnt no fuelers and funnies

in those days.

You could do

a hell of a lot worse, you know.

After all, you are running

with the Lucky Man.

[Sighs]

Yeah, I guess youre right.

I dont know. I'm just pissed off.

Mmm.

I still say I could have

beaten that Blacksmith.

I think you could have too.

Damn right.

Hey, P.J., look at this.

Hot damn!

Let's pick em up!

[Chuckling]

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Semi's behind us. Give im room.

[Clears Throat]

[Honks]

[P.J. Chuckling]

Jesus Christ!

What are you waitin for?

Get the doors open.

[Laughs]

All right! Here they come!

Dont like yours much.

Howdy.

[Billy]

You know, love can be

a wonderful thing...

when you got two people meeting.

Or three people.

[Chuckling]

You know something?

I fell in love three times today.

Come on, Billy!

No, really.

Three times?

There's only two of us.

Who's the other girl?

You know something, gang?

There's a lot of junk

you can put down your pipes.

You know what I mean?

Now, I'm talking about the good stuff.

You gotta take care

of your baby's engine.

So I suggest you go like the pros

and go with FastCo...

if you want that power,

that performance and that protection.

Yeah?

FastCo.

This is what

all the pro racers use.

FastCo motor treatment.

[Laughing]

All right!

Ew!

[Giggles]

My boyfriend will kill me.

He hates FastCo.

Oh, yeah?

[Billy]

Whatd you say your name was?

[Woman]

We have your call to Redline, sir.

Good. Uh, go ahead, please.

[phone Ringing]

Redline. Jim speaking.

Jimmy?

Lonnie Johnson.

How you doin?

Lonnie!

Hey, just fine, man. Bitchin.

Where are you?

Oh, I dont know. I'm on the road somewhere,

on my way to Spokane.

Hey, I hear youre driving the flopper.

What's the world coming to?

[Laughs]

Well, its only temporary,

just till you guys

get me on the road again.

Uh, that's what I called about, Jim.

Look, I figured out

what's the matter with that blower.

The damn thing is just too powerful

and it generates too much torque.

it started flexing the frame.

So all we gotta do

is triangulate the chassis,

take the stress off,

and we are home free.

So FastCo's gonna let me

go ahead with the dragster?

What do you mean?

Well, you know.

They canceled the order

a couple days after we talked.

Uh, Jimmy, who canceled?

Adamson.

I didnt even get the estimate done.

Well, didnt they tell you?

[Engine idling, Revving]

Wow!

That's absolutely incredible!

Ladies and gentlemen,

thats Lonnie Johnsons

FastCo funny car back there.

And this is Lonnie Johnson

in person!

Theyll be down at Spokane Raceway

this Saturday and Sunday,

along with an international roster

of cars and drivers.

it's all part of the exciting

and fast-growing sport of drag racing,

and Lonnie Johnson here

is one of the veterans.

Hi, Lonnie!

Uh, nice to be here, Chuck.

Lonnie, I've heard that this

FastCo funny car of yours does

over 200 miles an hour. is that correct?

Well, itd better,

or I'm gonna lose.

[Laughing]

And who is this lady standing beside us

here this afternoon?

That's Candy Allison, Miss FastCo.

Well, good afternoon, Candy Allison,

and welcome to Spokane.

Thanks, Chuck.

I just wanna say

how happy I am to be here.

And here's a FastCo decal

for your car!

Well, thank you very kindly.

And I'm sure well be seeing you

down at Spokane Raceway this weekend.

You sure will, Chuck.

And I hope all you nice people

will be there too.

And remember,

use FastCo motor treatment

for trouble-free motoring.

Well, how about that, Lonnie?

You guys get paid to say that, dont you?

How about that product?

is it really as good as you say?

Do you really use it?

Oh, yeah, Chuck.

I use it all the time.

it's the best product I know

to keep my toilet unclogged and free-runnin.

[Laughing]

Well, thats Lonnie Johnson for you,

ladies and gentlemen.

A great kidder

as well as a great driver.

And speaking of driving

just for a minute more here, Lonnie,

I've heard in drag racing circles

that some people say Lonnie Johnson

is a bit more of a showman...

than a serious driver.

Now, how would you reply

to a statement like that, Lonnie?

Uh, just like this, Chuck.

And, uh, and remember, folksy

every morning a tall, cool glass of FastCo...

is gonna keep you regular and raunchy

till way after sundown.

Y'all keep smilin.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Lonnie Johnson along with Candy Allison.

They'll be down at the Spokane Raceway

this Saturday and Sunday.

Another segment

Of Channel 5's sport profile!

He's been pretty tractable up to now.

Whats gone wrong?

Between you and me?

His career is over,

and he cant handle it.

He drinks, he crashes,

he alienates other members of the team,

he refuses to drive the funny car.

Blair, weve gotta go

with another driver.

I was thinking of Gary Black.

Do you know him?

Number one

in the Pacific Northwest.

With FastCo behind him

we could have a championship.

Okay, Phil. The burden of proof

that we've gotta make this move

will be on your shoulders.

That's where I like it, Blair.

Good.

I'll be seeing you soon.

Take care, Blair.

Are we still going out

with Chuck Randall?

No, youre going out

with Chuck Randall.

I'm, um, taking care

of some paperwork.

I'm not going out

with Chuck Randall by myself.

Why not? He likes you.

He told me so.

I dont want to.

Look,

I want Randall

to redo that interview.

I want you

to soften him up.

"Soften him up."

That's what I said.

Its public relations.

Those arent the kind

that worry me, Phil.

Its your job.

Screwing Chuck Randall

is not part of my job.

- It is if you want to keep it.

- Then I dont want to keep it.

Then youre fired.

Then I'm fired.

Hey, Phil,

what's happening?

Gary.

How you feel about

the meet this weekend?

You think you can take it?

[Chuckles]

Well, I'll tell you, Phil.

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