Fatal Instinct Page #15

The Conductor can't get past the Old Woman, so he climbs

over the top of her trunk, with no thought of helping her.

INT. VESTIBULE - DAY

Max looks out the side window, trying to conceal the weapon

in front of him. The Conductor enters, sees him.

CONDUCTOR:

Ticket?

Without turning, Max holds the ticket up over his shoulder.

The Conductor takes it, punches it, notices the gun barrel.

CONDUCTOR:

Sorry pal... automatic weapons are

only allowed in the club car after

nine p.m.

Max turns, raising the gun with a nasty GROWL. The Conductor

casually snaps a baggage tag to the barrel, taking the gun.

CONDUCTOR:

I'll check it with baggage. You can

claim it at the depot in Santa

Barbara.

The Conductor drops the weapon into a big mesh bag... along

with a dozen other guns he's collected. He exits. Max whirls

around facing the window, eyes filled with rage. Now what?

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

A gun barrel slowly protrudes between the seats in front of

Frank and Lana. Their eyes widen. Suddenly, a stream of water

hits Frank in the face! He sputters. A LITTLE KID named JEFF

scrambles into the aisle.

JEFF:

Hi! I'm Jeff and I'm eight years

old. Didja know if ya put a penny on

the track it'll make the train crash?

No kiddin'! You ever been in a wreck?

My uncle has. Lotsa times. It's really

neat. Everybody gets creamed! All

bloody guts... heads ripped off and

stuff... Hey... wanna hear my song

"Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy

Gopher Guts"?

Lana turns to Frank... inspired. She leans toward Jeff.

LANA:

You want to earn a couple bucks,

kid?

ANGLE ON NED:

Jeff bounces into the seat across from Ned.

JEFF:

Hi! I'm Jeff and I'm eight years

old. Didja know if ya put a penny on

the track it'll make the train crash?

ANGLE ON FRANK AND LANA

Lana peers over the seat at Ned. She smiles.

LANA:

He's losing it. You better get up to

the next car. Remember, give me the

high sign as soon as you see the

river. It'll be two minutes and nine

seconds past the tunnel. I'll take

care of the rest. Anything goes

wrong... just make sure you back me

up.

(grabs his collar)

And don't let him see you.

Frank gets up, moves down the aisle slowly, eyes on Ned. He

can't squeeze past the Old Woman, who is still struggling to

pull her huge trunk down aisle. So... he climbs right over

the top of it... oblivious to her.

Frank stares at Ned warily as he gets closer. Suddenly, Jeff

squirts a stream of water in Ned's eyes. Frank sees his

chance, rushing past Ned toward the vestibule.

INT. VESTIBULE - DAY

Frank races through the vestibule behind Max's back. By the

time Max turns to see who's there... Frank is gone.

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

Ned wipes the water from his eyes, blinking. He grabs the

squirt gun away from Jeff, holding it up angrily.

NED:

This... is not a toy!

JEFF:

Yes it is.

A beat. Ned realizes he's right. Acting tough, he pulls the

plug and drains the water out of the gun, then tosses it

back to Jeff.

Without missing a beat, Jeff drops the empty water magazine

from the grip and jams a full one in... just like loading a

cartridge clip. He smirks, ready for action.

In the aisle next to them, the Old Woman now pulls her trunk

back toward the vestibule. Jeff points the squirt gun at

her. Suddenly, she whips around and SQUIRTS HIM in the face

with her own squirt gun! He sputters!

INT. VESTIBULE - DAY

Max stares out the window, still seething. Behind him, the

Old Woman moves into the vestibule, inch by inch, trying to

drag her trunk into the first coach car.

Max turns, sees her struggling and goes to her aid.

MAX:

Here... let me help you with that.

He pushes the trunk into the first coach car, then very

politely holds the door open for her. She smiles sweetly at

him as she shuffles through.

OLD WOMAN:

What a nice young man. You are so

polite.

MAX:

(smiles)

I try to be.

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

Jeff is SINGING to Ned... to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare."

JEFF:

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy

gopher guts... mutilated monkey

meat... chopped up dirty birdie's

feet... one pint jar of all-purpose

porpoise pus... cooked in a Mulligan

stew.

Ned turns queasy. The train lurches. He stiffens.

INT. FIRST COACH CAR - DAY

The Old Woman has unpacked her huge trunk. She has hung up

clothes... set out a vase with flowers... hung up a big framed

painting... and turned on a floor lamp. She pulls out a set

of dumbbells, pumps them a couple times... and drops them on

the floor with a loud CLUNK!

Frank watches her from his seat across the aisle with a blank

expression... only his eyes moving.

The Conductor punches the Old Woman's ticket, then holds out

his hand, waiting. She pulls out a Smith & Wesson .44

Magnum... drops it in his bag. He waits. She pulls out an

Uzi.

EXT. THE TRACKS AHEAD - MOVING SHOT - DAY

Up ahead, we see a tunnel approaching.

OMIT:

Sequence omitted from original script.

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

JEFF:

(still singing)

French fried eyeballs and ugly scabs

you wanna pick... stuff to make your

mother sick... dog poop on a stick...

puke and snot all mixed together in

a pot...

Ned is looking very pale and queasy. Suddenly, Jeff jumps

up... presses his face against the window.

JEFF:

Oh boy! Here comes the tunnel!

Ned can't take it anymore. He gets up, pale and sweating.

EXT. TRACKS AHEAD - MOVING SHOT - DAY

...racing toward the tunnel!

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

Lana sees Ned stumble shakily into the aisle, moving toward

the vestibule.

LANA:

Way to go, Ned. Right on time.

The train enters the TUNNEL. Everything goes PITCH BLACK. A

few beats, then... LIGHT fills the car again as they emerge

from the tunnel. Lana looks. Ned is gone! She heads down the

aisle.

INT. FIRST COACH CAR - DAY

The Conductor is still tagging weapons as the Old Woman comes

up with a Ruger Mini 14 machine gun, a Mauser C96 automatic

handgun, a sawed-off double-barreled .12 gauge shotgun...

and an old wooden slingshot.

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

Lana looks through the small window into the vestibule and

catches a glimpse of a gray suit. She ducks back, leaning

against the lavatory door.

INT. LAVATORY - THE MIRROR - DAY

Ned's dripping face rises up from the sink into view. He

splashes more water on, trying to overcome his queasiness.

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

Lana reaches into her purse, pulls out a gun. She looks

through the vestibule windows into the first coach car, her

eyes searching for Frank.

INT. FIRST COACH CAR - LANA'S POV - DAY

Frank pokes his head out into the aisle, looking toward Lana.

He waves at her.

INT. SECOND COACH CAR - DAY

Lana ducks back, pressing herself against the lavatory door...

gripping the gun, tense.

INT. LAVATORY - DAY

Ned starts to open the door, then stops. He notices the violin

case. Opens it. A couple of bullets roll around inside. Then,

he sees the blender... puzzled.

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